The Risk

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  • Published: 20 Jul 2013
  • Updated: 20 Jul 2013
  • Status: Complete
Those three words. It's scary but somtimes the time is right and you just have to say it.

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1. The Risk

We learn from school. Teachers are there to educate us. We look up to them for guidance. But it’s not always the case. Some things are personal. You can ask questions about what to do but that’s what that person would do. You have to figure it for yourself. Only you can make the right decision. That’s what I’m told anyway. So when it comes to love, it was all so new to me. I’m not exactly one of the most popular kids in school. I wouldn’t even call myself popular. But I was taken back when someone actually asked me out. Me. Someone likes me for me. But what’s really worrying isn’t what happens in-between, it’s the ending. The crash landing which are never shown in films but are sung about in songs. The heartache that traps us from moving on. It’s my fear. Out of everything this is my worst fear that I hold.

I’m sitting on the beach. It’s quiet. The sea water ripples back and forth and the stars light the sky with the moon that watches over them. He is sitting close to me. I can feel his heat radiating off of him. We’re sitting here, watching the view in front. Just looking out. He said he loves me but I have yet to say it to him.

“I’m not ready to say it yet. Give me time, I do feel the same. Just please..” I say, he looks at me. I’m the girl who watches Disney fairytale films and reads sappy books packed with romance. I rest my head on his shoulder and I feel him lean in closer to me. He plants a kiss on my forehead and asks if I’m cold. I shake my head.

Everything about this scene is perfect. People would walk past and think that young love is the easiest part of life. They’re wrong. We’ve had our ups and then our very low downs. I remember the time in college when we had our first argument. Stress had gotten to the best of us. College. Friends. Family. It was all too much. I thought my world was crumbling down around me and that evening I cried. Cried until my body was drained from all the water it had stored in me. I knew it was the end. I knew. We had a break from each other before he confronted me a month later, opened up to me. I was surprised. I always said that I would be there for him to talk to but he never did. It annoyed me. But then, on that day, he opened up to me, about his family, his fears, failures, everything. He even cried in front of me, showing his vulnerable side. I held him tight and told him everything would turn out alright.

My favourite memory of us together would be the time when we went to the fair. We went with a group of our friends. It was our tenth date. I’d never laughed so much in my life. He kept making silly jokes, dragged me into the ghost rides, which I hated, but having him scream next to me when something jumped out made me laugh. He won me a big fluffy yellow duck that sits on my bed after spending £20 which I wish he didn’t but he insisted that he would win it for me.

He has changed me and I have changed him, in a positive bright way. We still hold our separate group of friends and are still focused on what we want in the future in terms of education. I would never hold him back from what he wants and I know he would never do that to me. I never want him to make a choice based on me. I want him to make a choice on what he wants, even if it does end up driving us apart. But that’s the part of love. It’s the risk you take when you say yes to the person who asks you out.

I move under his arm so I can see his face. He looks at me and smiles. I take a deep breath and then exhale.

“I love you,” I say.

And that is the day I took The Risk.

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