He's dangerous [COMPLETE]

"Who's that?" I asked, eyeing the mess of curls that downed yet another drink.

"Oh, that's Marcel. He used to be the biggest nerd in school. One day something inside of him snapped and completely changed. He got a bunch of tattoos and beat up every kid who bullied him. Stay away from him, he's dangerous." She spoke as he looked over at me.

I tried to stay away, but despite how he had changed, he was the one thing that could keep me from failing Algebra. I didn't want to spend time with him but I had to.

Will it stay as a simple tutor?
Or will their be more going on then tutoring?

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13. dont be afraid

It was something I wasn't ready for. Not now, not ever. Meeting your boyfriends parents meant commitment and I will never be able to commit. Marcel looked at me worried as I hid my face in his broad chest.

 

"Are you okay?" He asked, pulling away as I looked into his eyes. My head did some sort of movement between a nod and a shake of the head.

 

"What did I do?" He asked as I looked up at him. Should I tell him that I dont think were going to last? That Im afraid of commitment? That Id probably have a panic attack if we made it too one month let alone longer.

 

"Dont be afraid!" He spoke as my eyes widened.

 

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked as he nodded. I mentally cursed beneath my breathe. Can I ever learn to think quietly?

 

"We are going to last, don't think otherwise. I'll do anything to make this relationship work!" He spoke softly, embracing me tighter. I nodded, enjoying the comforting smell of his scent. Anything to make this relationship work? Was I really worth that much to him? I know I said I love him but it was a instant reaction. Did I really love him? Have I ever really truly been in love?

 

I dont think I have. I've claimed I am, but looking back on it, love isn't the feeling I've experienced. Love. I was afraid to fall in love. Love meant caring for the person, willing to do anything for them, and thats not good. Once you fall in love, you're completely utterly vulnerable to being broken.

 

I guess Marcel noticed my silence because he looked down at me.

 

"Do you not think we'll last?" He asked, hurt and sadness curved into his voice. I-I don't know. For some reason I have a feeling we won't work yet I feel this relationship will last my life. Can you see where I'm at a crossroads?

 

He sighed, looking down at his shoes.

 

"Marcel..." I whispered, seeing a tear fall from his eye. I bit my lip, tears swelling in my own.

 

"No, it's okay. I know you don't feel the same...I'm fine!" He spoke, sniffling as his eyes rolled towards the ceiling. He looked up, trying to lessen his tears but it didn't help.

 

"Marcel. Sit down, we need to talk!" I said, grasping his arm as I led him to the couch.

 

"Oh no, you're breaking up with me! Please don't, I'll change!" He sobbed, collapsing to the floor as he wrapped his arms around my right leg. I tried pulling away only to realize he had a firm hold on me.

 

"I'm not breaking up with you!" I said through gritted teeth, a small smile forming. It was an incredible feeling to know he cared.

 

"Come on!" I said, pulling him onto the couch as I cuddled into him.

 

"Marcel. Love means you'd be willing to do anything for the person. You would die for them and you give your heart to them and thats why I'm not in love. Being in love means you're easily exposed and vulnerable to being broken...and I never want to feel that again." I said, whispering the last part.

 

"I'm not like him babe. I told you that, don't you trust me?" He asked, tilting my head up with his index finger.

 

"I do, it's just I'm scared. Scared of falling in love." I admitted, a sheepish smile tugging at my salty tasting lips.

 

Marcel nodded, pulling me closer as we laid down.

 

   Shes not afraid of all the attention

   Shes not afraid of running wild

   How come shes so afraid of falling in love?

 

   Shes not afraid of scary movies,

   She likes the way we kiss in the dark.

   But shes so afraid of f-f-falling in love.

   He sang as I slowly fell asleep to his beautiful, deep, raspy voice.

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