The Mommy Porn Effect

This is my story. The truth. How I became this way. This is not fiction. The names and places have been changed but the plot remains the same. This is how Mommy Porn changed my life.

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3. Chapter 3

It had only been 2 days since my mother, Dianne, had banned me from seeing Tyler. After seeing me crying in my room for a few days and still unknowing of what had happened between us she suspected Tyler had done something to hurt me. She always was over protective. Growing up in a close knit family, only my dad; Peter, my mum and me, she wanted the best for me like any mother, but being an only child her efforts were condensed into one. I wasn't however the only one that suffered from my mother’s control freak paranoia. My Nan, and my Uncle also suffered. My Uncle understood. He always had done, we grew up together in the same household and due to the inferior age gap we acted more like siblings, but he was no longer around. He moved out and in with some man we had all barely met, so I was left to deal, sat crying myself to sleep each night.

I lost more and more weight as the days went on. The thought of food sickened me to my core. Why was I so emotional? I tugged at my pillows and buried my head once more. Why couldn't he just text me? See me? Or at least act as if he knew me when we stole occasional glances at each other during school. The pain of knowing what had happened, but acting like we didn't know each other only deepened the ache.

Attempting to be strong I deleted his number and kept my distance from the internet, and him in every way possible, but boredom took it's toll and left only to my thoughts my moods worsened. I turned on the computer. I logged into facebook hoping that my friends might be online, I needed some sort of conversation. My eyes wandered across the screen to a small ad in the right hand corner; 'How To Keep Your Man'.

Clicking on the ad I was taken to a wikihow page and before I knew it was reading into the different steps on keeping 'your man' interested.

1. Find balance between the 3 main area's; Spontaneity and Routine, Love and Lust and Speaking and Listening.

Due to the nature of our breakup I was drawn in by 'Love and Lust'. Still ingenuous to the world of sex I read on. For the first time I started to differentiate the two 'L' words. Love and lust. The words whirred through my brain as if trying to settle in their new understanding. Love is timeless, forgiving and selfless, where lust is brief, unforgiving and selfish, it's unadulterated and visceral. Tyler and I spent too much time making 'love', and not enough time being lustful. The sex no matter how surprisingly great, was ‘vanilla’. I'd had the first taste of this new world but I had yet to take the forbidden fruit, and although no snake had appeared to encourage my plight, I'd found my own inspiration. Lust. The word was enough to send shivers down my spine and for the first time in over a week my desire awoke inside me, re-awakening my goddess-like persona. I wanted Tyler, and I wanted him then and there, so I began working on my strategy.

2. Make sure your boyfriend has time to himself.

Figuring after the break up we hadn't truly spoke, I didn't need this step, not in the short term. My plan included being near him, not giving him space. I wanted him to see what he was missing out on. Tyler was going to find me attractive, sexy, alluring... I set out my school skirt I hadn't worn in years. I slipped it on and was discouraged when I saw the length. It really was very short. I wouldn't only get comments off Tyler. I'd be known as a slut. The English proverb 'To make an omelette, you have to crack some eggs' sprung to mind. I had convinced myself.

3. Do something spontaneous.

4. Hang with the guys sometimes.

5. Leave a sweet short note for him to find.

6. Go somewhere together you can relax and have fun.

I was ready, I knew what I had to do.

I rode into school on my purple greyhound bike, cautiously, avoiding cars and people. Once there I walked past Tyler's classroom in my tiny mini skirt. He didn't even see me, but my spirits weren't dampened; I knew we had a lesson together that day. I sat in music, waiting to see his face amongst the crowd of growing teenagers herding outside the door. Luckily, his seat was next to mine. He had to notice me. I sat atop the table, holding my guitar, legs crossed. There was no way he could look past me this time, he had to cross me.

Playing a gentle melody, the bell went and within a few minutes, I could see him at the door, laughing and joking with a few other girls. Whores! This was my guy, and I was going to win him back. I put on my best sultry expression, and he opened the door. Needless to say I averted his gaze. Walking through the maze of tables he brushed past me and sat behind me at his usual chair. I had him, I turned back to face him, my make up making my eye's stand out; thin black rims of eyeliner and my new false lash effect mascara lengthening my lashes so that they were unavoidable. 

'Hey Tyler, how have you been?' I whispered in the only way I could possibly imagine being sexy.

'Erm... I'm OK, how are you?' He looked at me in desperate confusion. Damn! Had I confused him, or had I affected him in the way he used to effect me? Practically speechless at just the sight. I had to make this work.

'Oh I've been fine, just catching up with the girls. Hey, I was wondering, my parents are working late tonight, I was thinking maybe having a couple of people round for a drink, you in?' Spontaneity down. I was rocking this.

'Sure, what time?' Tyler replied cautiously, the cogs in his brain churning, he had figured me out, he knew my angle. What was I going to do? Holy crap! How am I going to throw a party?! I had been an idiot.

'I was thinking straight after class, walk back to mine, and wait for people to arrive...' This bought me some time, I could always pretend that people had bailed on me. That or I could get him too drunk to notice. No. I was getting ahead of myself, this was meant to be seductive, sultry, sexy, not rape!

'Well, I haven't secured any plans yet anyway, but it's the plan, hopefully people can make it at such short notice.' I may have saved myself for the future, but right now, I looked like an idiot, this was the last lesson of the day, how was I supposed to invite people? How was I supposed to make out that I had gone all day without inviting anyone but him?

'OK, mind if I walk with you?' Tyler stole an impulsive glance at my thigh proudly on show. The glance was accidental at best, but I had got away with it. Now, all I had to do was get us off school grounds without seeing anyone who would be pulled in by the gravity of his invite. Mission accepted. Realization hit me that the walk home was 40 minutes long, and Tyler and I were to be alone. The first time since the break up. I had to hide my feelings, or this would never work. I needed him to want me, and neediness doesn't promote want, nor lust, or any other amorous affection.

I thought on the steps, and I knew Tyler fairly well, I could do this. Leaving the school grounds, I climbed over the gate letting my skirt flow in the wind, enough to be alluring, but not enough to flash any of the passers by, nor the teachers to the side. Half tripping over the top, Tyler laughed. Oh, how I had missed that laugh, that cute, boyish smile. Tyler helped me down on the other side and we began to walk. One foot at a time to keep my balance. The road seemed long due to it's straight path surrounded by trees and the crowding of school children. I lived down a road through a tiny forest path, we would be alone there.

The first 20 minutes or so of the walk was made bearable by small talk; the weather and how our families were doing, school work and such like, but small talk would not entertain us for the entire night, I had much more planned. The only problem being inexperience. I was hopeless. Whenever Tyler and I had sex, he initiated it, knowing I was far too shy. I had prepared myself, I had condoms in my purple rucksack, all I needed now was my confidence.

Approaching the forest lane, I tucked the lose strands of hair behind my ear and turned to look at Tyler.

'It's been a while since we've been able to talk like this.' I stated hoping he wouldn't pick me up on the fact we had barely spoken.

'Sara, what do you want me to act like?' disdain tainted his words, but I knew it was now or never. A dreadful feeling spread throughout my stomach and I felt almost unable to talk. Nerves do not hinder me now. I pulled him back by his hand, closed my eyes and went for it. The kiss. I poured all of my passion into his soft lips, stubble tickling my chin. His kiss met mine with equal commitment, as his arm rested on the small of my back, his hand reaching my hip, clasping me tightly.

'I have a better plan' I pulled from the kiss as my mind began to function, this was a safer idea, and spontaneity, spontaneity had nothing on me. In my mind, I somersaulted into the air in triumph. This was going well.

Tyler gave me his cute, confused expression as I reached for his hand. For once, I was in charge. Pulling him into the forest path, his legs flailed behind him. I took him to a bench within a tiny alcove of the area, near a lake. It was secluded, and grass grew along the legs. Around us were trees, only trees, minus the cobble pathway that I had followed. We sat and my confidence disappeared. What was I doing?! What was I thinking? I stared at Tyler wide-eyed and lost.

'So... this plan?' his cockiness irritated me, at least I was doing something. I could be at home crying still, plucking every bit of will power left within me to not text him, but I wasn't, I was there, with him and it was time to finish what I started. I pulled my eyes up from the floor and looked straight into his. My hands gently gripped the bench as if it were giving me some sort of encouragement, but I knew they were needed elsewhere. Reluctantly, I moved my hands from their comfortable position and pressed them gently upon his cheeks. His hand met mine. Why on earth did his hands excite me so much? I planted one soft kiss on his knuckle, and I felt the overwhelming surge of sadness sit in my eyelids. Closing my eyes, all I wished for was for him to hold me, hold me tight and never let go.

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