The Mommy Porn Effect

This is my story. The truth. How I became this way. This is not fiction. The names and places have been changed but the plot remains the same. This is how Mommy Porn changed my life.

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2. Chapter 2

Innocent huh? It didn't take long for Tyler to have taken my virginity. 16th December 2008. I still have a shag band that we accidentally broke that led to the loss of my virginity. I taped the ends back together and with a red, shiny ribbon attached a note reading 16.12.08. I was adorable back then. The whole world of sex was completely alien to me, as it should be at that age. Although till this day, even though it only took approx. 3 weeks for me and Tyler to have sex for the first time, within that time, my 15th birthday had passed. For me, this is comforting. I like knowing that I wasn't really too young. I was ready to. Tyler and I were great together and he was ever so sweet.

'Are you sure you're okay?' Tyler questioned me concerned. His body laid over mine. Tanned, toned and slender. How was I so lucky? His arms had gained muscle and they held up his body, his hands either side of my neck. My body writhing underneath him. I was slender, but not stick thin, so luckily, my body had developed, I looked like a woman, curvaceous, with a tiny jewel by my navel.

'Yes, I'm ready Tyler' I gazed at him, and just like the movies, we stared into each other's eyes. He leaned across to his chest of drawers and withdrew a condom. 

'Do you know how to put it on?' It was as if he were reading me, trying to gauge whether or not I was truly ready.

'Yes' and with my response I cautiously took the condom, split the wrapper, and positioned the odd, latex ring over him. Pinching the end, I rolled it back. He positioned himself back, and lowered himself to me, kissing me passionately. My arms rose to grip behind his neck pulling him further onto me.

It took us a while to get going. The feeling was... painful. Nothing else. From horny and writhing to in pain and embarrassed. Tyler was amazing the whole way through. He took it slowly and made me feel at ease. His hand gently caressed my face, the juxtaposition of the twinge and throbbing with the feeling of comfort and tenderness kept me wanting. Eventually he suggested that I sat on top of him, so that I could lower myself onto him at my own pace. I obliged and the ordeal continued. By this point I had started looking anywhere but his eyes as I didn't want him to see right through me as he usually did. I examined the walls, a dark blue, with a badly painted alien face above the bed, put there by his sister, spaceships as a border, and clouds on the ceiling. His room was definitely a mash up of different decorative adventures, but it was all bought in nicely by the different shades that oddly matched. After some time, and some discomfort I asked him to resume his position above me, and to just 'do it'.

'Are you sure?' He looked at me quizzically, but slowly gripped me and moved me to his side. His leg parted mine and once again he laid on me, I gripped his arms tightly to brace myself. I asked him not to take it slow anymore, frustration in my voice, but he could see in my eyes that I wanted him, like he wanted me and this ordeal had already lasted too long.

'Ahh!' he had inserted himself fully inside of me, he stilled for a moment and kissed me once more, gripping onto my hair behind my ear. Slowly, he began to move and the ache evaporated, a feeling of pleasure washed over my body, before I knew it we were panting and my hands were roaming his lower back, my head tilted. It was exquisite. Before not too long I exploded around him, bringing my face up to bury in his neck. With the realization, he hugged me to him. Whispering softly to my ear, 'I love you, baby'. I fell back to the bed and moments later he joined me in my blissful state. He fell to my body and grasped me tight.

'You are amazing'.

This is where it started. I had finally experienced sex. Sex, that thing that everyone talked about, but no one had done, no one, but me. Sara, the shy, average girl, had sex. My virginity was placed into his hands willingly. This is where I wanted to be.

I'd learned a lot about Tyler since our first meeting in France. I'd even picked up his mannerisms; the way he swept his fringe across, the way he played guitar, oh God, the way he played guitar, I could sit and watch him for hours in awe of him. Being a guitar player myself, I found it astonishing that we played so differently, but it said a lot for who we were as people. I played acoustic, 'girly' songs about love and learning to fit in, often metaphorical and dream-like, fairytales. Tyler played electric, the old rock classics like Led Zeppelin, and Jimi Hendrix, with precision and poise. I pranced around with my young, girly voice. While Tyler was talented, attractive and all those superficial, movie like adaptations of perfect, sweet, kind, caring, and humorous, there was something else. He was agitating, once he had made up his mind, or thought he was correct there was no reasoning with him. He was stern, and stood his ground. It was exasperating.

This feeling of annoyance eventually nestled it's way into the back of mind and stayed there during our time together, but it wasn't destructive, I made myself believe that this was my challenge. No one is perfect and here Tyler was, my almost perfect boyfriend, and I was happy. More than happy. He wasn't over-bearing like my friends partners, nor did he neglect the relationship. He did well at school, he was determined and ambitious, a business man in the making, yet there was a creative side to him, a loving side that only I knew, that I only wanted me to know.

Grabbing my hand I was pulled into a half run to the bus stop to catch the Number 9 to Tyler's. Passing the nearby shops he whispered into my ear.

'I can't wait to have you' he stopped for a breath, 'all to myself.' These words would usually excite me, send my head into a spinning whirl of anticipation, but this night was different. I was tired. I wanted to 'schnuggle' up in his bed watching the mainstream bollocks that was usually aired at 4pm on TV just for an excuse to lie there in his arms. However, more than anything, I wanted to please Tyler, because as soon as he realized how amazing he was, I feared I would lose him. Compared to his, my light shone, dimly. His perfectly structured physique out shone my average appearance, my red cheeks desperately covered with a pale foundation, and mouth too big for my face, yet he always complemented my eyes. My confidence grew with each flattering observation of the areas of my body I hid from view. I shared with him all my insecurities and with one touch he would fix them all. I owed him. I wanted to please him.

So that night we went to his and before I knew it I laid in his covers, soft and cushion-y, a black and white pattern painting the surface. Suddenly, we were going. The TV played in the background, voices to pollute the air and drown out the awkward silences. I gripped at his back once more, this was my favorite part excepting the delicious feeling of him inside me, digging my nails into him as my breathing quickened and deepened. I felt like a goddess, but the incessant pang of exhaustion still controlling my body dampened my senses. My body reluctantly succumb to the sensations taking over, but Tyler continued. Tyler was amazing in bed, and he certainly had the stamina. My reluctance, however hidden, that night lay purely in my need for sleep.

Continuing I felt myself build again, the sensation through my core unraveling me. Tyler, in his usual position, arms either side of my neck, legs between mine quickened, his body aflame with desire, for me. This is what I got off on, the way he could be so turned on, so lustful, for me.

'Tyyyy!' the shrill voice of his mother screamed out. Tyler and I scrambled to our feet and I clutched the earlier comforting sheets to my chest now acting as a savior of my chastity and reputation. It was too late. We had been caught.

'Get dressed, now! And we shall talk downstairs', fumbling around I was all thumbs trying to clutch at my scattered clothing. Tyler seemed quiet. I couldn't help but feel for him, this was his mother, if it were mine, no matter of consolation would ease my embarrassment, my shame.

The tension hung in the room like a dark cloud of indignity. Words broke through the ice, and before I knew it I was sobbing into my hands being told of how having sex too young was bad for my health, not only risky as I had not yet grown into a woman. The humiliation streamed down my cheeks leaving me hot and flustered, every word acting as a knife cutting me deeper. Tyler remained silent. Every second seemed like an eternity but the hands on the clock kept ticking past and within minutes we were left alone to reflect and talk about our predicament. The silence was deafening but what was to follow cut worse than any words I had heard beforehand.

'Maybe this is it'.

My worst fears were realized. Tyler wanted us to end, and all I could muster out of my trembling mouth, was 'maybe'. My heart was shattered and my thoughts in tatters as I searched the room looking for any inspiration, any words of wisdom that I could cling to to console me. He was right though, more so than I realized back then, as this caused a long term barrier between his mother and me. She did not like me, and I could not get the shriek of her horror out of my head no matter how I tried.

The drive home was awkward at best. His mother and me alone in a car, and all I could think of was how it was over, everything, the last few months, all my happiness, my experiences, my boyfriend and best friend rolled into one was gone and my heart felt the pang of sadness causing the flowing tears to once again return to my face.

Once home I ran to my room and cried myself to sleep, dinner was not necessary. This kind of hurt did not encourage a healthy appetite. My room offered my no comfort. The dull lilac walls and matching carpet only seemed dull and grey. My large king sized bed, layered with pink sheets and multiple pillows, no longer comfortable but empty and grey. I had finally felt my first heartbreak.

 

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