Anesthetics

I read this on a different website and wanted to share it on here. Each title is a chapter and in the beginning of each chapter is bit of lyrics that is like a summary for the chapters. All credits to the original creator if you want to read it on the original website here it is :http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=273458

If this doesnt work try this, go to http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com, on the side it should say search HPFF click it, there should be a search box type in Anesthetics, find the one that says Banner by Sammy Lupin! once you've done that you should have it also here's what it should say:
Anesthetics by UnderRugSwept13
Rating: Mature
Chapters: 20
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Regulus, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Voldemort, OC
Genre(s): Drama, Angst, Young Adult
Era: Marauders
Pairings: Snape/OC, James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, Snape/Lily, OC/OC

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9. Runs in the family

 

All day I’ve been wondering
What is inside of me?
Who can I blame for it?
I say it runs in the family



Julien de Pontius? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

I will fully admit to the fact that mornings are not my favorite thing in the world. But when adding a certain Regulus Black to the mix, I could potentially be very volatile. The early October sky peeking down at me from the ceiling held no promise; it was gray a dreary, signaling that the whole day would be the same scenery. Not only was the weather not up to my specifications, but I found that I had had little sleep last night. It was Julien’s first day from the hospital wing, and the last thing he wanted to find himself was laying in bed all day. However, he was perfectly content in the common room, the beech tree beside the lake and some empty corridors...

“Would you pay attention?” Regulus’ snippy whine brought me back from fresh memories of my back pressed against a stone wall and a certain someone’s hands caressing my neck. I was rather unwilling to return from my fantasies to face my pathetic cousin.

“If all you’re going to do is bitch at me, I’d rather not.”
“Oh, ha ha. Glad to see that even though Miss Capella is in love, she’s still her acrimonious, apathetic self on the inside.”
“Oooh, ‘acrimonious’. What a great word. Who taught you that one, your criminal, better-loved brother?” I shot back, already irritated by the nuisance.

If there hadn’t been an audience of a hundred plus people, I swear Regulus would have strangled me right there without any remorse at all. Not that I would have blamed it; I had taken a low shot...and I was pretty proud of that comeback too. The look on his face said murder.

It was breakfast time and I was sitting by myself at the Slytherin table. Julien tended to wake up as late as possible and I wasn’t willing to risk being late to class and giving up time to eat for a few seconds of seeing Julien. I would see him almost all day. Its impossible to deny a girl food.

But Regulus had approached my lonesome self, standing right across the table from where I sat. And that’s where he continued to stand, utterly offended at my words to him. I enjoyed the mealtime entertainment of his indignation.

“Don’t ever mention him to me again.” Regulus hissed through clenched teeth, pointing a menacing finger at me and punctuating each of his words with movement of his tensed hand. I was briefly reminded as to why Regulus was a Slytherin. The way his words were hissed at me and the tiny slits of his eyes eerily compared to those of an actual snake. His anger was rather impressive. I saw a tiny bit of that rage reflected back to when Sirius had run way from home and Aunt Walburga (Sirius’ mother) had gone temporarily ballistic.

I raised my eyebrows in feigned cool surprise. Momentarily, I paused the methodical consuming of my scrambled eggs and observed my cousin.
“That’s a little difficult, isn’t it? Especially when Sirius lives here...and happens to be sitting right over there.”

I had barely registered the smashing of a ceramic bowl onto stone floor when I found myself upright, standing across from Regulus, the table the only barrier between us.

The entire Great Hall was silent as we stood, Regulus glaring at me with all the loathing he could possibly muster. I was shocked to say the least and my hot blood was pounding in my ears. The violent gesture of Regulus throwing a serving bowl across the table had thrown me into this new stance. It was rare that I had to worry about anyone getting violent with me; generally people just walked away from my comments. But upon witnessing Regulus’ dangerous attitude, my instincts had to kick in.

I was at the ready, my wand gripped in my hand, hardly wondering when it was that I had gotten it out. Regulus was technically unprotected, though I considered his testosterone to be a danger to my well-being. He wasn’t really a brawny, muscled type of guy, but he was a Quidditch player and male, and therefore considerably stronger than myself. I think I was lucky that he had such horrible aim and the bowl didn’t hit me. It had never really occurred to me that my cousin could be a threat. But as I stared at him, obviously in shock, I found that I had definitely proved myself wrong.

“Blacks...what’s all the commotion about?” It was Slughorn’s jovial tone that brought us both back into reality. He had approached my side and was looking back between the two of us. I relaxed, realizing that I had been tensed for an attack and shook my head slightly. Regulus still hadn’t moved, but his eyes were now darting everywhere. Everywhere but me.

Of course the entire student body had been watching us and for Slughorn to call it a ‘quiet spat’ (as he had referred to it when he clapped me on the back) was the biggest understatement I had ever heard. I was vaguely aware of the feeling of hundreds of pairs of eyes on me and truly didn’t feel anything until I turned and saw that Julien had appeared and had me by the waist. I looked over to Regulus and saw that one of his teammates had led him down to the other side of the Slytherin table.

“Let’s sit down.” I felt Julien’s breath at my ear and his words didn’t make sense to me. My mind was somewhere else. I continued to mull over this new feeling I had: the heat in my veins and the adrenaline telling me to run. I now noticed that I was breathing heavily. The image of Regulus’ enraged features wouldn’t clear and I felt my heart beat in short, rapid palpitations.

Congratulations Capella, you’ve just experienced fear.

“What?” My voice felt foreign in my ears as I felt the slight movement of Julien taking a seat. He tugged at the side of my robes, forceful and urgent.
“Sit. People are staring.” He said sternly and I felt the wooden bench against my behind. I gazed around, trying to regroup my surroundings. Just as I looked to the other end of the breakfast table, I saw a distinct, familiar movement.

It had been Severus, poised at the ready with his wand. He wore the same shock that I was sure had been on my face, but as he noticed my stare, his face shifted to the unsympathetic mask he always wore. However, this face didn’t concern me, nor did it cause the hot liquid that now collected in the corner of my eyes. It hadn’t been a coincidence that he had stood up right at the moment Regulus had lost it. No, it wasn’t by chance at all...

He had been ready to defend me.


 

~*~*~*~*~




It was the end of the day. And let me spare no chance to say that it had probably been close to the worst day of my life. I know that’s petty and dramatic, but true nonetheless. My biggest pet peeve is when people stare at me. And due to the little ‘scene’ I had caused that morning, a lot more people than usual had taken to staring at me. I swear to God, it’s the rudest thing in the world. Didn’t anyone’s mother teach them not to blatantly fix their eyes on a person? Some kids I saw doing this were obviously looking at me, mouth open (like they were trying to catch flies), unblinking with their friends muttering in their ear. I could hear it all around me: “Is that her?”, “I wonder what she did...”, “No wonder, she’s a Black...”.

The notion at the foremost spot on my to-do list was to go straight to my room after dinner. My roommates were easy to ignore; they’d been poking me for gossip for seven years, by now I was able to totally tune them out. However, Julien had a completely different agenda.

The odd thing was that Julien didn’t care to know about what happened. He didn’t question or interrogate me all day, he merely pretended that nothing had happened. And for this, I was greatly thankful. The last thing I needed was for the only person talking to me to be on everyone else’s side and beat the issue like a dead hippogriff. No, I was truly happy for his lack of concern to the subject. Not only did I not want to explain the gory details, I didn’t want to think about the look on Regulus’ face again.

On the other hand, the only thing that Julien had in mind was to sit in the Slytherin common room and snog. Issues with this plan being: 1.) There were too many people, meaning more gossip and whispers and 2.) I didn’t much like the idea of Julien shoving his tongue down my throat when I was in a mood. That mood being not a good one. And so, I was not too thrilled with this plans.

He tugged on my hand, leading me to an unoccupied leather loveseat. I balked, biting my lip and wrinkling my nose.
“What?” He asked, giving me one of his award-winning smiles that flipped my stomach. He twirled me into him, pressing his lips just below my ear. I could feel the disgusted expressions. I wriggled out of his grasp, painting a apologetic mask on my face.
“I’m just...I think I need to go check my owl up in the Owlery.” My excuse was pathetic, but it was true. He rolled his eyes, smiling at me anyway.
“Fine.” Julien held his hands up in defeat, “By all means...we’ll continue this another time though.” He winked and I suppressed a giggle.

I didn’t ask him to accompany me and he didn’t offer to. But to my revulsion, it wasn’t long before I did have company.

“Hey cousin.” It wasn’t until I hit the third floor that I heard this familiar drawl behind me, followed by the trademark sidekick laughter.
“Go away.” I snapped back, never skipping a beat or faltering a step. Then I heard them jogging to keep up with my brisk pace, and felt a presence beside me.
“Do I have to?” Sirius asked me in his fakest innocent tone.
“Yes.” I replied pointedly, still not looking at him. I was hardly in the mood to deal with this.

He stopped a few moments later and a triumphant smirk found its way on to my mouth, the first of the day. However, it was very short-lived on account of his next comment.
“You stood up for me.”

It wasn’t the smart-ass tone of his voice that caught me off guard, and it wasn’t the snickers of the Marauders that pissed me off. It was the mere words that made me want to punch my cousin in the face.

I stopped dead, now finding myself at the top of a flight of stairs, the group of boys a few below me. I didn’t even have time to check my anger before I spun around, fists balled at my sides.
“No. I did not stand up for you.” Were the first words out of my mouth, “I would never and will never stand up for anyone with the last name Black. In fact, I wouldn’t care to stand up for anyone besides myself.”

I stomped down a couple of stairs so I was one above Sirius. I enjoyed the feeling of being taller than him, for once, if only by a couple inches. His smirk didn’t even mean a thing.

I still have no idea what made me snap. Maybe it was the mere idea of me actually owning up to who I was related to. After the ridiculous fight with Regulus, I realized how screwed up my family was. I blamed each an every one of them for not being normal. For not even caring about one another. I hated relying on myself for everything, but it was something that I was used to now. Severus’ face swam in my brain, remembering that he too had abandoned me and left me to fend for myself.

“You think you’re all self-righteous. I don’t care that you ran away from home like an insolent seven-year-old. That you rebelled against the family hierarchy. When it comes down to it, you are just as callous as the rest of them. Throwing your goddamn ‘I’m different’ bullshit all over the place.

“You are the same as the rest of them. The rest of us. Self-loving, arrogant assholes. They made us all that way. We’re snobs by design. Now get your head out of your ass and own up to it.”

I shook my head, disgusted by the fact that Sirius had actually said something that got to me. I’d never said anything like that to anyone, and I was ashamed for letting my guard down.

He was in shock. For once in history, Sirius Black was in complete shock. Not to mention his minions behind him who looked like they were going to run crying to their mummies. Sirius furrowed his brow, processing it for a moment.

I laughed to myself, a bitter, humorless scoff. I threw my hands up in defeat.
“We’re Blacks. We can’t rely on anyone but ourselves.” He looked up at me for a moment and then back to his friends, surveying them. Then his gaze turned back to me and he smiled, commenting.
“You’re a ray of sunshine, aren’t you?” Of course this was followed by a ring of laughter, but I basked in the slight discomfort of it. I shook my head again and pointed at him.
“You watch, Sirius Black...you’ll end up alone and unhappy, just like the rest of us.”


 

~*~*~*~*~




I finally made it to the Owlery, believe it or not. And when I did, I found the most peculiar surprise waiting for me.

I actually did have an owl waiting for me, which is usually unheard of because no one ever wants to write to me. My parents could care less. However, as the familiar owl glided down to me, I was filled with a warm sort of feeling. Someone wanted to talk to me. And judging by the midnight-colored owl, it just happened to be my sister.

The handwriting on the front of the envelope could never be mistaken. It was clearly from Lucida, and not some ruse by my mother to try to pry into my personal life (for that has happened, but I don’t think she’d try it again due to the absolute tantrum I threw when I found out). No, the neat script was undeniably Lucida’s and I smiled at the little heart with which she dotted her ‘i’.

I allowed for no ceremony as I tore through the parchment, excitement bubbling in my chest. The bright pink ink caught my attention before I saw the words. However, the next few words held much to be explained:

 

Hogsmeade next weekend.
The Hog’s Head.



All I could gather from her words was a huge question mark. And one prominent thought:
Oh shit.

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