Anesthetics

I read this on a different website and wanted to share it on here. Each title is a chapter and in the beginning of each chapter is bit of lyrics that is like a summary for the chapters. All credits to the original creator if you want to read it on the original website here it is :http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com/viewstory.php?psid=273458

If this doesnt work try this, go to http://www.harrypotterfanfiction.com, on the side it should say search HPFF click it, there should be a search box type in Anesthetics, find the one that says Banner by Sammy Lupin! once you've done that you should have it also here's what it should say:
Anesthetics by UnderRugSwept13
Rating: Mature
Chapters: 20
Characters: Lupin, Snape, Sirius, Lily, James, Regulus, Bellatrix, Narcissa, Voldemort, OC
Genre(s): Drama, Angst, Young Adult
Era: Marauders
Pairings: Snape/OC, James/Lily, Lucius/Narcissa, Snape/Lily, OC/OC

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8. Me, You and My Medication

 

Where have I been?
I feel like the stars are getting closer,
And the sky is closing in
And I don't know where to begin.


I’d never had the seconds of my life tick by as slowly as they had come Monday morning as I sat by myself in Potions. Julien was still in the hospital wing; the collision to his skull was rather serious. Apparently a fracture in his skull shattered and it was a delicate healing process...or so I’d heard. Maybe he was just being a pansy about the pain, or maybe he just wanted to slack off of class and milk his injury for all it was worth. I wouldn’t disagree with him if it was the latter. I’d give any excuse not to show up to class, especially now.

Severus was constantly on my mind, though I was loath to admit it. I didn’t even look in the direction of his table as I dragged my exhausted self through the doors to the classroom. His glare or complete ignorance of me was not something I was going to willingly endure.

And so I suffered through class like a real trooper, mainly by laying my head on my desk and omitting the whole potion-making process for today. My excuse to Slughorn was that it was difficult to work without Julien there; he was my mentor and was so much better at brewing than I was. I owed all of my ‘A’s so far this year on him. Or so I told Slughorn. He gladly devoured the lie, his beady eyes even more eager as he mentioned Julien’s recovery and the possible party (which he’d probably already planned) to throw once Julien was out of the hospital wing. Our star Quidditch player deserved a proper welcoming back to everyday life after all. I’d nodded along with Slughorn’s rambling, but I hardly think he noticed as he rubbed his hands together excitedly, drawing up the whole blueprint of a Slug Club party dedicated to Julien. After Sluggy’s departure, head forehead made contact with the desk again.

I spent all of class like this. It was hard to imagine that I had another five or so classes to live through until I could finally go to bed. And then wake up tomorrow to do it all over again. Five minutes before the bell was about to sound, the door of the classroom squeaked open and all eyes were immediately drawn to the exit to stare at the intruder and make him/her feel excruciatingly awkward.

It was a Slytherin girl, to my surprise, one of my roommates in fact, with a sour look on her face. Her thin, rouge-colored lips were pursed in a tight line, making it seem as though she didn’t actually have any lips. This of course wasn’t what I was used to; generally this girl tried to fatten her lips by making the ‘pouty’ look, which was really ridiculous to me and made them all (because all girls did it now) look as though they had been stung by some insect which caused serious inflammation. I vaguely heard Slughorn address her and her venomous response,
“I’m here to deliver a message.”

I originally thought nothing of this...until her steel-gray eyes suddenly pierced me with the force of a thousand and three sharp objects. For a split second, I didn’t know what to think of this. Until my brain fully absorbed the shock and began functioning again. Then one word instantly came to mind.

Julien.

Then the sour expression made sense, as did the spear-like eye contact and the lack of lips. There was only one thing about Julien that could possibly have pissed her off that badly.

Oh shit.

She was going to make this hell too.

Not only did she have me cornered in a classroom full of gossipy teenagers, she had me cornered in a room with the three people who I would want least to know about Julien’s infatuation with me. True, they knew that he liked to hit on me. But I was beginning to think that he really had honest intentions. And that was not going to go well with three specific human beings.

Sirius Black.
James Potter.
And Severus Snape.

It was perfectly logical for me not to want Sirius and Potter to know; I’d never hear the end of it from Sirius. Potter was the least of my worries. I had no personal vendetta such as a aberrant cousin who would let it be known to the whole school that someone actually liked his antisocial bitch of a cousin. Potter wasn’t a problem; just irritating as all hell. Sirius was bound to never let me live it down. He’d spread it to the school, Regulus would hear, and Regulus would tell my family. My family were the people I did not, under any circumstances, want to know about Julien.

And Snape. I really didn’t want Roomie-Bitch to spill this in front of Severus. I didn’t want to see the I-told-you-so look in his face, or the oozing venom he’d most definitely be spitting in my direction. By having it out in the open that Julien and I were interested in each other, that would make my whole rebellious campaign for the past seventeen years null and void. I’d be a hypocrite. And if there was one thing I hated, it was a hypocrite.

“Well, by all means, deliver it.” Slughorn motioned to my roommate with one of his trademark grandiose gestures. She gave him an acidic smile that he seemed immune to, as he hardly noticed the negative tone of it. By now, she had everyone’s attention. I could already feel the back of my neck burning with embarrassment.

I knew she was going to make this as theatrical as possible and she didn’t disappoint. Roomie cleared her throat so loudly, I was positive the entire castle heard it. It was, however, totally unnecessary for the class already had its eyes on her. To me her whole act was irritating and obnoxious, but I may have been a tad biased.

She was going to drag this out, and painfully so. She had me right where she wanted me: vulnerable, and that was a place I had never been before, nor ever wanted to be again. I felt like a wounded water buffalo and she was a lioness, circling the unprotected prey. She was playing with me. Taunting her food, making me feel like I had the least bit of chance to survive this unscathed. In reality, I knew this was the end, that I was never going to be able to live down this embarrassment. She knew this too and was savoring every second of it. I had to admit, my roommate was a mastermind at this game, this play-with-your-food game. I would have commended her on the brilliant job had I not been the main course and absolutely despised her guts. My only solace was the realization that I lived with her and that now all of her precious belongings might have a very unfortunate accident happen to them when I got back to the dorm.

“Capella?” Her tone was so saccharine that I almost choked on the honey. I swear there was no sweeter sugar on the planet than her voice.
“What?” Was all I could manage through my clenched jaw and I cursed myself for betraying my simmering rage. My reaction only made the fake smile on her face widen with true pleasure.

And then she said the words. The words. The very words that made the classroom go so silent, not only could you hear a pin drop, you could hear every single molecule it came in contact with with a deafening roar.

But I couldn’t hear my own breathing.

“Julien de Pontius has been asking to see you in the hospital wing. He misses your beautiful face dearly.”

I could have and should have killed her right on the spot.
But instead, with a scorn burning hotter than the surface of the sun, I gathered my bag and books and left the vicinity.
I couldn’t help but see the look of utter disgust on Severus’ face.


 

~*~*~*~*~




“What in all Hell’s name is wrong with yo-?”

My tirade was going to be hellacious, believe you me, I would have seemed possessed I was so goddamn pissed. But I found that the titanic fury I was about to unleash on Mr. de Pontius was a lump stuck in my throat as soon as I’d thrown the hospital wing doors aside. The scene was enough to leave me speechless.

He was sleeping. A soft, peaceful slumber of his chest rising and falling rhythmically with each long breath he took. His face was smooth, any trace of his trademark smirk gone. From such a picture, one wouldn’t surmise he was a snobby jerk. No, he just laid there sleeping, causing no further chaos in the world.

My breath was stolen from me. As was the heart to start screaming at him at the top of my lungs for sending messengers to heckle me for the past two days. The feeling to do so flew right out the window as I slowly made my way towards him, consciously making an effort to make my steps quiet so as not to wake him. It was too peaceful to disrupt.

A vacant chair beside him invited me in, urging to be a spectator for his slumber. I was intrigued, I’ll admit. What was he dreaming of? Clearly they were good dreams; he seemed to be at total serenity. I envied the stillness, the ease of a calm sleep. I couldn’t remember a time when I had slept so easily, so comfortably.

I folded my hands in my lap, crossing one leg over the other and leaned toward him. Maybe I had the illusion that if I were close enough, I’d be able to hear the happenings of his dreamland. I almost procured the idea that maybe I wanted to crawl into that tiny, thin hospital cot and sink into his very dreams with him. I tried banishing the thought, but I couldn’t quite eliminate the notion to lay my head against his subtly rising chest and listen to the melodious beat of his heart.

I was undeniably restless as I sat next to him. I crossed and uncrossed my legs numerous times and played irritating rhythms with my ever-tapping fingers on my knee. It was slightly uncomfortable, watching Julien sleep. I felt like I was observing something sacred, intimate. He was beautiful in unconsciousness. The innocence he exuded with each breath left me speechless and I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d feel the same if he watched me sleep. The idea thrilled me.

But of course, all good things come to an end. He began to stir and I worried that the tapping of my fingers on my leg might have woken him. His nose twitched and he squeezed his eyes shut, willing himself to return to his slumber. However, I almost needed to see his emerald eyes again and was secretly thankful.

Julien’s eyes squinted at the light as he came around and he let out a little disappointed moan. My heart sped up just the tiniest at the sound. He made several pathetic attempts at stretching, all of which he cut short with a quick gasp, obviously in pain from his injury. Hitting the bottom of a Quidditch pitch after a hundred foot drop had to hurt.

Finally, he noticed my hunched form in the chair beside him. And I’ll be damned if his face didn’t break out into the biggest smile he could muster.

I almost rolled my eyes at this, expecting him to be his usual asshole self. But instead, it wasn’t his customary smirk that he saved especially for me. No, this was a smile. A true, real, actual smile. Like he was truly happy to see me. It lit up the room and his face, brighter than any light and so much warmer. My stomach dropped and I began to sweat, fighting the urge to vomit or grin back like a total idiot. I chose neither and went with what I would usually do, trying to give no hint of any weakness.

And so, I scowled.
A really attractive boy gives me an award-winning smile and I scowl.
Way to go, Capella. You’re a real winner.
God, I’m such a bitch!

“Feeling better?” Were the first words out of my mouth. They hurt too, cutting my throat as they flowed from my lips. Of course they were only meant to cut Julien, but it was the first time where I was honestly affected by my own demeanor.

But Julien took it in stride. He sat up as best he could and nodding enthusiastically. He only winched a little bit when the pain caught up with him. I pretended to scoff at his expense, but I was dying on the inside. Dying to be nice.

“More so now that you’re here, beautiful.” Was his cheeky response. I rolled my eyes, casually standing up and crossing my arms. With as much indifference as I could muster, I slowly trudged to the side of his bed and sat down. He grin got ten times bigger.

“What in the world possessed you to send her after me?” Julien knew who I was referring to of course. My psycho-bitch roommate was hard to forget. He shrugged causally.
“I figured it would prove the point that I’m not interested in her.”
“Oh,” Was my genius response. My heart continued to speed up as I considered the suggestion in his tone and tried to piece together what he was thinking. Julien was the one person I couldn’t guess though. But maybe... “and who are you interested in?”

I didn’t realize that we were both involuntarily leaning forward, towards each other, until I was face to face with him. I felt his warm breath on my cheek, but was absolutely captivated by his eyes. The question had all the implications that had been swimming in my head for days. I was desperate for an answer.

“Well,” He began and I watched as his eyes darted back and forth, burning into both of my eyes, “She’s beautiful, of course. Her eyes are like midnight. And her hair is like platinum silk. She keeps me on my toes and has a brain. She’s harsh and she knows it. But I can’t help but be attracted to her...its bittersweet.”
“Oh...?”
“I know the bitter part of it...now I want to know how sweet she is...”

It wasn’t but a second later that I found his lips pressed against mine.
 

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