Comedy; My Life

"FIGHT!" Some random kid yells.

"Where?" We all say to watch it as if it's a new movie

"OVER THERE!" Then you see all the nerds, smarties, baddies, and other kids stand up on the cafeteria tables

"FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT..." We all scream while you see deans screaming and yelling.

Then there's the fire alarm being set off... *beep* *beep* *beep* (and our fire alarm is crappy loud cause it's sets off alarms of all different pitched tones.)

*everyone starts running out the exits like a herd of elephants screaming* (including the kids who were fighting)

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6. Sickly Days; We all get them ;)

So right now I am sick. Yes, you may be thinking. Omg are you ok. Or you might be the person who is like, omg what do you have? Stay away from me. Naww, I don't mess around with people like that. Those who say "Get well soon." And nice things like that. Let's all take a moment of silence and give them a round of a applause... *moment in which I am clapping like a monkey and smiling awkardly cause I love people like that so so so much.**

 

When I was born I was not breathing... thats the sad part... But the next humorous part is that, because they didn't have the little electric shocker thingy's to make people's heart pump yet, so now here it comes... They had to freakin slap me around as if I was a reblious 3-year old that threw a block at another 3-year snobby kid. Yes true story. Right when I popped out I got slapped around as If i was being questioned on why I wasn't breathing....

 

 So ever since that day when I popped out of my mommy I have had severe asthma. Asthma. Now you might be thinking ohh thats just that minor breathing problem where you breathe like you just ran a 500- mile marathon like thoses wierd hairy dogs in alaska. No. Not for me. Up to this day no one knows what causes it. So lets fly a unicorn pass all this messed up scary sad ishh and travel to unicorn land for the funny messed up ishh.

 

Common Cold

So when we usually have the "common" cold season, you would hear others doing the little sniffle where they suck up mucus into their noses and they sound and look like pigs... Yeaa even though we look like the most riduclous creature on earth when sniffling we all do it, even me. Which is a bad thing, cause all we have to do is get the fuck up and and grab a damn tissue but half of us are too lazy, and the other half is afraid to get laughed at. Im apart of the lazy half... ┬┴┬┴┤(・_├┬┴┬┴ Don't be ashamed...

 

Stomach Aches

Ugghhh stomach aches... I just hate them so much. Who else hates them? The pain that just strikes right through your stomach as if your annoying little brat brother punched you there. I just hate stomach aches. The pain is unbearable and when I take medicine I pop them pills like a crack head. No lie. I pour all them into the cap and take like three cause the pain like I said is like giving birth even though i have no idea what that feels like. Raise your hand right now if this applies to you. No matter where you are right now just do that. I respect you for that.

 

Sore Throat (aka Strep Throat)

The thing with me is that I like to enjoy my food. And when I do get to enjoy MY food I get this warm feeling inside and I turn into a carebear. But if I have a sore throat and I'm eating my food, you better run cause I hate the "sore throat" ruining my enjoyment of MY way of processing food. To me sore throats are worse then not being able to breathe cause when I cant breathe I can still enjoy my food, it's not like my freakin food goes down into my lungs and then to my stomach, like no. I hate those moments when you try to eat food and it just irritates your tunnel to your stomach (aka esophagous) and it just annoys me sooooo much!!! That's it though... cause if I go on, hell WILL break out...

 

Headaches

Two words to you headaches. Fuck you. Usually when I have asthma I listen to music and compare it to my life and whatnot and that somewhat soothes me, but headaches you just take that delight away! I hate you. The only thing I can actually do is sleep. I can't have lights on cause I''l turn into a vampire in the sunlight. I can't watch TV cause my eyes will make sure it is as blurry as if I just freakin farted out a dust of sand. And I can't text my friends. You know how hard it is not able to freakin text or communicate with the world by sending smiley faces with symbols and scrolling down my instagram feed and adding littlle ^.^'s on every pic... I need help... Fuck you headaches you don't know how hard it is!!!

 

┬┴┬┴┤(・_├┬┴┬┴ ~I CAN SEE YOU!

 

(^(●●)^)~OINK!

 

U^ェ^U ~RAWF!

 

ヾ(´^ω^)ノ♪ ~ LA LA LA

 

♪ヽ( ⌒o⌒)人(⌒-⌒ )v ♪ ~LA LA LA LA LA LA LA

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°O゜)☆\(^^; )  ~POW!

 

I AM HIGH BECAUSE OF THE DAMN DRUGS THE DOCTORS PUT ME ON.... medicine not actually drugs for those who thought I'm an actually crack head... pwwff... smh

 

 

 

 

 

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