Distance

Dan Lewis Fanfic


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1. Change

-Thinking-

You’ll be leaving for London soon, so I sat at the desk and begin to write. I write about your smile and your voice. I write the things I love about you, and even some things that drive me nuts. I write my feelings out, quick easy words and then I hide it. I wrap it in your favourite T-shirt and I smile to myself, wanting to tell you how I feel, but I’m scared.

You’re still the same guy I fell in love with, even if you don't realise it. The same guy who told me things were going to be okay since my Dad left, singing that stupid yolo swag song till I smiled.  You’ve been my best friend since beginning of high school and you helped me with my welsh since I’ve moved here from London. I remember all the times you got frustrated when I couldn’t say something and you ran your hands through your hair and groaned, then laughed at me. The time where you were teaching me how to play guitar; You were sat behind me trying to put my hands in the right position on the chord, and at one point you rested your hand on my thigh and it gave me butterflies, and when you started singing, them butterflies multiplied. But the one memory that will hurt the most is the one of Saturday. Yes we were pissed off our faces, and you probably regret it, but that was special to me. The way we kissed, the way you looked at me when we were having sex, the way you bit your lip when you were coming close, which then disappeared and got scared shitless when someone knocked on your door. You tried to cover me up and hide me from whoever it was, yet you never moved from the position we were in. You just held me.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m so proud of you for being signed, I really am. It’s a great opportunity for you, but I will miss you so much. Bridgend won’t be the same without you. I found a  piece of paper you left in my room last time you were here. I know it’s yours. I can tell by your handwriting. It says  my name and yours at the top so I read it. Looks like song lyrics On Facebook you have 100 thousand likes, you pull your tits out with any care or polite”  I smile like an idiot, remembering all the shitty things that happen on facebook and we wrote bits together. It took us ages to find something that rhymed with WKD, and the fact you got hate for it made me laugh. I watched the way you ranted on that video through the kitchen door window. You never liked me being in the room when you doing your videos, so me and El always watched you. But tomorrow, I’m gonna have to say goodbye, I know it’s only two weeks but I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me. Yes your fans say they love you and you retweet them and favourite them, and then some fangirl over that, but I really do love you. I just hope you don’t forget me, when you get all famous.

-Present Day-

-Your POV-

I waited outside of Dan’s house with him waiting for his dad leaning against the wall. I noticed how upset he was, the way he messes with his bracelets when he’s upset, “Oh here,” I said as I removed a bracelet of  my slender wrists onto Dan’s “Thanks” he mumbled as he positioned it so it was comfortable amongst the crowd of bracelets. “It’s my favourite so don’t lose it or break it” I giggled trying to lighten the mood. He gave a crooked smile, “Don’t worry, I won’t” he said playing with it. Dan pushed himself off the wall and stood in front of me, “Have this one,” He said wriggling one down his arm and placed it onto mine, “That’s my fave also, so don’t you lose it or break it” he winked as he held my hand for a while. I smiled at how big his hand was compared to mine. I looked up at him and noticed his fake smile. I could tell it was fake as it looked like the life was sucked out of his eyes, “Daniel! Get in the car, we’re already bloody late as it is” Richard shouted as he got in the car followed by Eleri, “And take off those bloody glasses, they’re ridiculous” I giggled down at the floor and looked up at Dan who gave a little smile, “Okay!” He gave a deep sigh and pulled me in for a hug. “You do look stupid in them Dan,” I mumbled against his chest. He poked my sides with an “Oi” and a laugh. He rested his chin on my head and rocked as we hugged, “Can I just come with you? I’ll cook and clean and take care of all of you” I said looking up at him, “No, YN” he said, “Besides we have Michael for that,” he laughed. I noticed his eyes switching from my lips to my eyes, so I went onto my tiptoes and kissed the corner of his mouth, the way he kisses mine, “Do me proud Dan, I know you will, but yeah,” I said nervously trying not to cry. I bit my lip to stop and he kissed my head, “I’ll see you soon okay? I’ll facetime you and stuff, same with the lads, just because I’m in London doesn’t mean I’m gonna forget about everyone” An impatient beep of the horn came from inside the car and we saw Richard throwing gestures at us as we could barely made out what he was saying thought the muffled noise from the car.  It was now or never. I have to tell him how I feel, because if Saturday was a one night stand I’d want to know now before I gained more feelings for him. As Dan started to walk to the car, I followed him and looked up at him, I took his arm, “Dan,” I said as he turned around quickly, “I’m sorry YN, I have to go, I’m late as it is” “But” He gave one last hug and a kiss on the head, “Love you” . “Love you too” I said very quietly. As I just stood there trying not to cry, Dans mother came and stood next to us and had her final goodbyes, and with that he got in the car, and that’s when I let the tears fall. Waving at the car as it turned the corner, I saw Dan’s face for the final time out the back window. I said goodbye to Dans mum, I received a text. As I began to walk home, I read it and it was Dan. Knowing this was the only way to contact with him for a while made me die inside, but I bet he was completely oblivious.

-Dans POV-

Seeing her face disappear as we drove around the corner really broke my heart. Oh my god I’m so fucking stupid. I should have told her how I felt. But I didn’t want to make an fool out of myself, she probably thinks the other night was no big deal, just a one night stand. I don’t know how to tell her how I feel. "Dan what’s up you look a bit down." my dad said interrupting my thoughts. "Nothing dad… just thinking about stuff." He just nodded his head and didn’t think any more about it. I have to text her I have to tell her how I feel. I took my phone out of my pocket and got YN up in my contacts

 To YN<3: “I miss you already babe :(<3” -  I didn’t know what to say so I just said I miss her. Almost instantly she replied.

 From YN<3: “Miss you to :(<3”

 To YN:  “YN… I have wanted to tell you this for ages but I don’t know how to tell you so here it goes.. I think I..like you!<3”

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