Twenty-One

16 Year old Bria suffers from Anxiety and Panic attacks. She gets bullied and hates her life until 5 boys turn her life around. She finds herself falling in love and Panicking over what to do. Saying yes is so hard especially if she's falling for a bad boy who will do anything. Will Bria let herself fall for Australian bad boy Luke?

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1. Twenty-One

Twenty-one days, I thought to myself. Twenty-one. Why was that number so signifigant? Why did it sound so good yet so bad? I was glad I was twenty-one days free especially since I was going to see my favorite people ever in 6 hours, The Janoskians. The concert was on the 21st of July. Another reason that the number 21 stood out. Maybe saying yes to things was getting easier I mean I've lasted twenty-one days and haven't died right? You are probably thinking that this girl is a freak, and to some people I might be. 

"Who's that physcopath who loves those gay youtubers? Oh wait thats you!" How about hearing that everyday. Or how about, "You are just an attention seeking bitch who everyone hates anyway!" I'm that physcopath. And that bitch. Of course I cut for attention doesn't everyone? No. And yes I only have panic attacks and anxiety attacks so people will like me don't you? Fucking look at the world through my eyes. My name isn't physcopath. It's Bria. They don't even know my name, how could they even think they know my story? I cut becuase of the bullying and pain I go through everyday. I cry myself to sleep because I hear my mother get beat by my drunk father. But I am stronger then you think. I don't need attention from those people. But I do have a question for them, why does having panic attacks and anxiety attacks make me a physcopath? What is so wrong with being different?

I have been weaker then right now. I wouldn't eat, go to school, or say yes to anything. The panic attacks got worse and so did my anxiety. My only answer was no. I was afraid that even if I did one thing I would have an attack. I would make myself throw up. Not physically but physcologically. I hated it and couldn't deal with it. My relif: cutting. I have been 7 monthes clean and won't ever go back. Only because of The Janoskians and seeing them tonight is amazing. Of course nobody knows that at school because I am that physcopath. I don't like sympathy. If I ever did tell somebody what actually was happeing that's what I would get but I am stronger then that. I don't need those fake barbies feeling sorry for me. They don't know I am sad. I don't act like I am. I hide. Not like a fucking turtle I don't have a shell . I have a wall. Nobody will see me cry. Nobody can break through. Nobody will know the real me.

"Bria! You are going to miss the train into New York hurry up!" My mom yelled up the stairs to me. I started to worry. I was going into the city alone, staying in a hotel room alone. No, not tonight. I will not let my attacks ruin the best chance I will ever get to thanking the boys. Not tonight. Twenty-one, I thought, Twenty-one. 

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