Confessions of a Broken Heart: A Collection

This one is collection of my writings, specifically one-shots which just popped out of my mind from nowhere specific mostly based on my emotional feelings.

This one is a part of my soul, my heart, and my mind. This is a figment of my imagination. This is how my mind works.

This one is going to be a lil bit complicated, too dull, too sad and too much. I know, this collection is a mixture of too much, so welcome to my world.

This doesn't intend to offend or to hurt or to put someone into shame. So in case you felt that you are have a certain characteristic related to one/more characters of the story and you felt offended, shame on you.

That's it! I hope you'll like it. :)

P.S.:

This is a mixture of everything so don't be surprised if you found rated-PG, rated-13, or even rated-R. I just can't help it. *insert evil smile here.

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1. You Are Beautiful

He was pushing a cart of books down the corridor of the library when again the raven haired girl who was busy scanning the old brown bookshelves marked with 600-699 Technology on its upper part. He bets she is looking for book about weight loss, different diet tips and such. In his months of stay  in the library as an assistant librarian, he would always see her every month, if not weekly looking for books like that.

She stopped at 641 Food and Drinks and scanned the book titles. She didn't found the book she was looking for so she moved at 642  Meals and failed to see the book she was looking for. She then went to 646 Sewing, Clothing, Personal Living section. And once again failed seeing the book.

"Excuse me," she asked as she approached the man wearing a white checkered polo shirt, black slacks and black shoes as he was putting books in the shelves from a cart.

"Yes," he said acknowledging her presence and he saw that her hair was tied into a neat ponytail with a few strands escaping from it and that she was wearing an oversized light blue T-shirt with a cat printed in front of it, a navy blue jeans paired with a cornelian blue doll shoes with a ribbon o top of it.

"I was looking for a book by Lauren Conrad and I can't seem to find it," she started. "Do you happen to have one by her?"

"Lauren Conrad," he repeated the author's name and picked up a white folder and browsed for the name. "Nope. No, Lauren Conrad," he said when he was donelooking for the name. "But we might have other alternatives, what stuffs are related with the book you're looking?" he offered trying to look innocent since he already know that she's looking for those books again.

"It's about cosmetics, foods, and such," she answered.

"All in one?" he asked.

She shook her head.

"Well, we have The Anywhere, Anytime Chill Guide by Kate Hanley," he replied.

"Sounds interesting. Sure, I'll take it," she said and smiled.

It was the first time that he saw her smile. For him it was warm though it felt awkward to her. All she need is the damn book and he could get on with his life.

"Follow me," he said and led her through the corridor. They walked all throughout without talking; just the tapping of their shoes on the floor was heard. He stopped halfway and turned to his right. She, as someone who needed the book fast, followed him.

He stopped at the third column of the shelf and picked out the book. She, on the other hand, was secretly thankful for his assistance since she was petite and she could not reach for the book on her won.

"Here you go," he said and handed her the book. She smiled at the gesture, an alternative for thank you. She was not used in saying thank you. She never was.

He nodded and said, "After you." She then this time, led the way to the librarian's desk. Since she had been here many times, she immediately removed the card at the book of the book and gave it to him and signed the paper sheet of the outgoing books.

"Done?" he asked. She nodded.

"Well, have fun reading then," he said trying to fake a smile.

She smiled and gathered all her belongings.

She walked to the door, the tapping of her shoes the only sound in the library. Well, that is if she couldn't hear his breathing. She stopped a step before the door and turned around. She walked back and stopped at the Teen Fiction section.

"You know, you could put your things down on the table while looking," he said breaking the silence enveloping them.

She, as someone who never talks that much, did what he said. Then, she went back at the shelf. She pulled out Princetta by Anne Laure-Bondoux. She was about to turn her heels when something again caught her eyes.

"Hmmm... excuse me," she said.

He looked at her intently meeting her eyes. She looked side wards.

"Can I borrow three?” she asked and her head bobbed side wards again. “Make that four.”

“Well, I guess we could make an exception with you,” he said and took a look at her library card. Hers almost full again.

“Thanks you,” she said but it was more like of a whisper. And off she went to the bookshelves again. He shook his head as his gaze followed her once more and smiled to himself. “It can’t be,” he whispered.

She pulled two more books and went back to the desk to fill out the necessary forms needed before she can take the books home.

“The Anywhere, Anytime Chill Guide by Kate Hanley, Princetta by Anne Laure-Bondoux, The Vanishing Act of Maggie O’ Farrell, and Zahrah The Windseeker by Nnedi Okorafor-Mbachu,” he enumerated saying out loud the books she will be taking out from the library.

“Yes,” she replied simply.

“Okay, then. Have fun reading them,” he said with a smile.

She smiled and whispered her thanks not sure if he heard her.

She then walked out of the library and went to her little tree house. To be honest, it wasn’t hers. She was just sharing it with an unknown owner. She found it and gladly claim it hers. Well, not really claiming it for her own. She just stays there whenever she feels lonely, if she wanted to relax and clear her mind, or whenever she wanted to be alone.

“Hello,” she greeted even though she knows that no one will ever answer her back. Sometimes she would even wonder where the rightful owner is.

She took a deep breath and put her right hand against the cold steel knob of the door. She slowly pushed the door inwards and she was greeted by darkness as usual. She raised her left hand and she felt for the light switch. When she finally found it, she flicked it upwards and light shone all over the place.

She sighed wondering when she will ever own a place called hers. She put her belongings down on the coffee table and roamed all over the place hoping that she could find a clue whoever the owner of this little house she called home. Yes, home, even without the laughter of anyone or noise coming from whoever or whatever it is. It is home to her for she could feel the warmth of welcome from the owner.

She took a cup from the tiny cup holder and washed it under the running water from the faucet. He opened the little refrigerator on her left and pulled out a sachet of iced tea and made herself a drink. Afterwards she took the book by Kate Hanley and made herself comfortable on the sky blue love seat located near the window across the coffee table. She opened the book and started reading it.

“77 Simple Strategies for Serenity,” she read aloud. “Hmmm. Do I really need to read this? I mean I am already at peace. My life’s peaceful―”

She stopped talking when she heard tiny footsteps towards her. She put the book down and gathered all the strength that she could muster and said, “Is there someone in here?”

She was answered by silence. “Hello?” she tried once more. “I won’t hurt you,” she whispered mostly to herself. She was torn between running and staying.

She was about to take a step backward when a shadow caught her eye in the kitchen. Then something furry touched her legs. “Whoa!” she shouted not because she was frightened by the thing but because she was surprised by the sensation.

“Oh my God!” she said trying to catch her breath as she heard the furry being getting near her. “Thank you for the bean bag!”

“Who are you?” she asked. “I mean what are you?”

She was answered by the meowing of the furry animal.

“Oh, you’re a cat,” she concluded.”Come here… come kitty… come… don’t worry I ain’t gonna hurt you.”

“Meow,” the orange kitty replied but stayed on its place.

“Here kitty… here kitty kitty…” she said making her voice a little softer for the tiny animal before her.

It meowed once more but this time she went near her hand and it let her scratched its neck. When she was sure that the cat’s not going to bite her, she scooped it up and hugged her and took a seat.

“Oh, you’re a boy!” she exclaimed happily when she saw the genitalia of the orange fur ball she was holding. For a moment, she was back to that same girl she used to be.

“Meow,” the cat meowed interrupting the flashing back of her memories.

She smiled at the cat. “What’s your name, little fella? I bet you got a name and you got a loving owner. I mean just look at you! You have a tiny bell which I haven’t heard awhile ago,” she said and laughed at the thought but the cat didn’t respond to her. Instead he made himself comfortable on her lap.

“Oh so you want to sleep?” she asked and the cat meowed his answer and closed its eyes. She sighed and whispered sweet dreams to the cat.

She once again took her book and tried to squirm her way to comfort without sacrificing or interrupting the little being on her lap but it was too late. The tom cat stood on his four paws and jumped down and went to the door.

“Wait!” she said hoping that her plea would stop the feline from his track but it didn’t. she was disappointed by the cat’s action but she followed him nonetheless.

The cat stopped by the door and took a sit. Well at least, that is what she saw the cat did. When she finally reached the cat’s chosen place she lowered herself and patted the cat on its head and said, “So you want fresh air, eh?”  And the cat, being someone who talks to someone who tries talking to him meowed his reply.

“Very well, then,” she replied and stood up thinking of taking her book and going back to the little veranda and have a seat with the cat.

“I’ll be back,” she whispered and once more patted the head of the cat. And again, the cat meowed its response.

She then walked inside and took the book outside and was debating whether she would take the right or the left side of the cat.”Meow,” the cat said acknowledging her presence with him.

She sat at the left side of the cat, the one nearer the door. “I’m back,” she exclaimed at the feline and she felt silly for talking to a cat yet happy for doing so. It just brings back too many happy memories though it is hurting her.

The cat stood up and once again went to take a seat at her lap and wanted to sleep. She petted the cat to its satisfaction until it dozes off to sleep and she picked the book once more and opened it to the last page she was reading. As she was searching for it, a piece of paper fell down from the book. She read it and it says:

You’re beautiful. You do not need those books about weight loss and such. You are perfect just the way you are. Personally, I think you look great. You do not need to look like those skinny girls. Real guys want a little padding, you know. Kidding aside, you look wonderful. You’re neither fat nor big. You are perfect just the way you are.

Stop stressing yourself about those damn things. You are beautiful. It is time to show them that you can live without them. It is time to stand up for yourself because God made us perfect in His own way. No one’s a mistake. He made us the way that He thinks we should be.

If you are thinking that no one would like you or even love you for you. Think again, someone out there is happy to know that you exist and I know that someone out there are looking forward in knowing you. Some things are not perfect or complete without you in the picture. Just so you know, someone out there is waiting for that beautiful curve to form on your lips and let your forehead relax. There’s someone out there who wants to see that you really are happy… that you are not pretending to be.

And if you are wondering who that could be someone who thinks you’re beautiful, put me on your list and I will never fail to admire you. I would love to memorize every inch of you and imbued it on my mind. I would love to see you walk down in the room of the library bringing anything but those books. Seriously, I think they’re a curse to humanity. I mean, how could someone lost weight that fast and we don’t need it. It all depends on our genetics. Media should really stop obsessing about those wafer-thin girls and those women who got pregnant and bounced back to their old body size.

Do you happen to know Sofia Vergara? Kate Upton? Mariah Carey? Christina Aguilera? Kelly Clarkson? They are so proud of their own body. And if you also noticed they’re not wafer thin! Oh, and Dita Von Teese. Neither of them is wafer thin yet they know how to fight for their body. Actually they have that confidence to do so. If you are thinking that at least they are curvy, come on. Every girl got their own shape. It just takes for her to appreciate and love it and, of course, flaunt it in a good way.

Oh, by the way, have you already met my pet cat? He’s a ginger one. His name is Snow. I know he’s not white but that’s the only name he would respond to. Oh, and sorry, if he scared you on his entrance. He loves giving dramatic entrance you know. He’s all yours now. I can’t keep him anymore for a little while. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m going back to London to continue my studies. So basically, that would mean that you wouldn’t be able to see me at the library then. And to be honest, by the time you are reading this, I am already on my way to the airport. I’m really sorry… I wish I could have met you and have a chat with you but I just don’t know to approach you since you would go inside the library, return the books, go to the shelves and just pull the book you wanted that makes me wonder how long have you been visiting the library that you know where the books are located, sign the borrower’s sheet and go with the books. You never stayed longer than that. Wait, I’m not blaming you… I was just hoping that we could have spent a little time and then go on with our lives. Anyway, I will just be looking for that day.

By the way, the tree house is all yours. If you hadn’t noticed, he is bringing a basket with an envelope, papers, his things like his yarn and Pookie, his teddy bear. He’s a little bit demanding since he needs to sleep on a soft bed or on a soft cloth, preferably his blanket. You can’t trick him with that. As for the food, don’t worry about that. He eats almost anything even raisins and chocolates. I do not know how his body could fight the toxins coming from those. Well, I guess he’s one tough cookie. Oh, and he won’t sleep without Pookie beside him. Also, don’t be shocked if he learned to open your faucet’s at home and made a pool out of your kitchen or bathroom sink. He just loves water that much. Clearly, he’s a cat that defies almost everything. As for the waking time, he wakes up at five o’clock in the morning and just in case, you are not awake by then, he would wake you up in whatever way he chose to. He sleeps at exactly nine o’clock so you better prepare his bed or else he would bug you every time about it. Guess, that’s pretty much about him. If you have any basic questions you want to know like his breed and such, you could refer to the papers in the basket he was bringing.

Thanks! I hope you would be more than happy to adopt him and take him as your own. See you soon!

Take care and God bless!

Sincerely,

John, the Librarian Assistant

 

P.S.:

If you are thinking who is that someone, I was referring to, that was me. I wasn’t expecting that my short stay here would be a remarkable one but somehow it did and thank you for making it memorable with your silent ways. And honestly, I think I have a crush on you so smile. :)

Tears fell from her eyes as she finished reading the letter but there was a curve forming on her lips. She whispered her thanks and the Snow stood up and went inside. And she, knowing that he will be back waited for him. And when he came back, he was really bringing a basket with him and pushed a white rolled paper forward to her. Knowing her newfound friend wanted her to read it, she opened the rolled paper and saw a certificate bearing her name branding her as the new owner of the tree house and the lot surrounding it.

She whispered her thanks hoping that he would know how thankful she is at this very moment. But the surprises aren’t over yet ‘coz Snow sat on a teddy bear who she thinks is Pookie and it spoke the very words she wanted to hear. “You are beautiful. You are perfect no matter what.”

(COVER PICTURE is made _Music_Matters of Wattpad)

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