Because of him, I Soar

Goosebumps were all over my body. The hair on my skin stood motionless. My hands were shaking so much as a tremor of fear ran through my body, following the pounding sensation in my heart. My stiff hands clenched trying to suppress the throbbing pain that was starting in my chest.

***

I gagged for breath and at the same time, people were whispering to each other, wondering what was happening. Dropping to my knees, my hands gripped around the fret board of my guitar for support. I heard the footsteps of someone running, towards me, but before I knew it I was down on the floor.

That was when I realized I passed out.

Dedication:

The idea of a hidden power coming to light is pretty damn important.
A hidden power can be anything—it doesn't have to be in a literal sense.
There are hidden powers in all of us,but we have yet to find it.

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2. Because of Him, I Soar ( 2 ) Bittersweet Memories

Because of him, I soar

Chapter 2

Bittersweet Memories

 

 

 

 

 

        It's been a week since that day. The number of insults that were pushed down my throat lessened but there were still some people who couldn't stop with those sardonic remarks that were made in jest. Some would actually walk pass me in the hallway on purpose just so they could mock me with faces that reminded of the incident.

 

"Ignore them Lace. They're all a bunch of losers," Claire snarled at them as they left for the cafeteria.

 

"Look, I think I'm coping fairly well. But it seems like you need to calm down more than I do," I laughed a little when I turned to see her throwing scowls in an attempt to scare them off.

 

"Just you wait till I get my hands on them... They won't have hands by the time I'm done with them," Her eyes were squinted and her mind was probably filled with little scenarios that I'd rather not mention.

 

"You look like you need some help Lace," I heard the ever-so annoying voice booming in my ears and my eyes turned on him.

 

"What is it that you want Ian? If you wanna help, how about you get those little minions that your girlfriend carries around twenty-four-seven to stop with the lame jibes?" I smiled sweetly at him, then returning to my original glare that I always had whenever he was around. I turned to Claire who was trying to catch my attention.

 

"Hey sorry, can I leave first? Mr.Matthews isn't going to be happy if I'm late for Chemistry for the 5th time," She showed me a pleading look and I nodded my head in response, as if to say that I could handle Mr.Hotshot over here.

 

Watching her run off to her next class, Ian started opening his mouth, unfortunately. "No can do. I don't own them so I can't tell them what to do..but there is one thing I can help you with," He smirked, almost grinning to the point where his white, pearly teeth were visible.

 

"I don't need help Ian. Especially not from you," I turned to walk off but I felt a sharp tug on my right arm, pulling me backwards.

 

" I signed you up for counseling classes," He said, grabbing my arm tightly.

 

"Wait, what? Why would I need counseling classes?" I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, trying to shove him off of me when he tried getting hold of my wrists. 

"To get over your stage fright-"

"I don't need your help Ian!" I pushed him away forcefully, making him fall backwards in shock. " Can't you see that I'm perfectly fine?" I clenched my fists tighter. "Just leave me alone already. Is that too much to ask?" 

 

" Whatever you're trying to do. I don't need it. You can't just waltz into my life when it's almost been six years we've spoken to each other. So don't tell me you want to help because I've had my share of the populars trying to 'help' us normies. I don't know if you realize this but being popular doesn't make you 'all that'. The world doesn't revolve around you. You're only popular because you're either feared or hated. And what I'm feeling for you Ian? It's pure hatred. So back off and get lost! I've had enough of you people trying to mess our lives up just because you don't have one," I glowered, shaking my head in disgust.

 

"I'm not trying to-"

 

"Just don't." I shook my head, not letting let him finish his sentence. Then I immediately stomped off to my next class, just in time to get scolded by the teacher for turning up late. Guess who was the cause of it? That's right. The one and only Ian Harris.

 

***

 

"How can you be sick?" I frowned, looking down at my food. This time I was sitting at the cafeteria table alone, without the presence of my best friend.

 

"I'm sorry, okay?.. I guess I caught the flu from my brother," I heard her groan over the phone. Judging by the muffled noise and shuffling of blankets, it sounded as if she were deep under the covers, hiding from the light.

 

"When do you think you can come back?" I bit my lip, feeling nervous from noticing people around me staring, from the corner of my eyes. Apparently, I was an outcast whenever Claire wasn't there with me.

 

"Maybe in a day or two? Don't worry Lace. When I return, I'll make sure I beat those creatures down to pulps," She managed to let out a hoarse laugh.

 

I laughed softly. "You know what? I'm going to be fine. And you're going to get better so I don't have to take extra notes for you," I chuckled lightly, smiling down at my food when I head her croak out a laugh. I sighed silently, "Get well soon alright?"

 

"Roger that." The line went dead after she ended the call and I slid my phone into my pocket.

 

I heard whispering around me one after another.

 "Is that the girl that passed out on stage?"

 "How is she still alive after that incident?"

 

"Hey look we better call the ambulance before she passes out again while eating," One of them chuckled and fist pumped the other. That was the lamest thing I ever heard all day. I almost wanted to drown my sorrows in my bowl of chicken soup when I heard someone scoot over to the seat across mine to join me in my misery.

 

I looked up to see Ian with his tray in his hands.

 

" Can I sit here?" He finally spoke after a while.

 

"And let more people start rumours about us? No thanks. For the hundredth time Ian, leave me alone," I muttered, not bothering to even have any eye contact.

 

" I'm here to help. Just give me a chance, will you?" I could almost hear the irritation in the tone of his voice and I slammed my spoon down on the table, losing it entirely. The ringing vibration of the stainless steel buzzed through my ears as it clinked in contact with the metal table.

 

"Why?" I looked up at him, "Why should I? Why help me Ian? Why now, why not then?" I squinted my eyes at him, searching his eyes for an answer. He stayed silent for a moment before parting his lips to speak. But before he could, I cut him off. "For the past five years, you completely pushed me away. When I needed you Ian, when I needed you. Don't speak to me like you're still my friend." I shook my head at him, unable to look at him the same way I used to.

 

"So that's it? I make one mistake and I don't get a second chance?-"

 

"O-one mistake? You forgot that it was the most stupidest and unforgettable one you made. Second chances may exist Ian. But not everyone deserves it." I gritted my teeth, holding the urge to hit him. "And you definitely don't," I slowly loosened my grip around the metal spoon. " If you want to help, you can start by staying away the hell away from me." I stood up and started packing my stuff, utterly losing my appetite. Before I walked away, I paused for while and stared at him, "And it shouldn't be too hard for you right? I mean, all those years of practice?" I scoffed, slinging my bag over my shoulder then roughly brushing my arm past his on purpose.

I walked out of there, passed plenty of faces and finally got to an empty table in the school library. There was barely anyone here- no one would actually come here to study despite it being the only place of knowledge, so it was one of my usual hangout places with Claire. We wouldn't call ourselves nerds. We just enjoy the peaceful atmosphere since the rest of the world seemed to have so many loud opinions on everything. I took out one of my books that I recently borrowed and flipped back to the chapter where I left off, just to pass the time and also try to block out thoughts about Ian. He seemed to be popping out of nowhere lately for the past few weeks, especially trying to send me off to my death bed a little too early with the surprise greetings behind my locker.

 

Yes, Ian and I go way back in the day. I'd rather not take a walk down memory lane but just to end your misery and stop your curious minds from exploding with a thousand questions, I'll admit it. Ian and I used to be the best of friends since the 1st grade. Sounds unbelievable but it's definitely true. We used to spend every single day together. When I was a kid, I was pretty much socially awkward. I couldn't make any friends, even if I tried to. I ended up sending weird messages and people just got the wrong impression of me. No one dared or cared enough to try clear the misunderstanding and find out the real me; except for Ian. So did Claire, but I only met her two years ago. Ian was a good guy. Well, I perceived him to be until it happened.

 

He blocked me off entirely for no reason during the start of the fifth grade . He never answered my calls, texts; blocked me from any of the social networking sites, emails and everything that involved any kind of contact with him. Why? Until now, it's still unknown. The worst thing was that even when I needed him that night, he wasn't there. Even when I almost begged. He didn't care. That night was when my father died from cancer. That agonizing night when I felt so confused, so empty, so unstable. I was a troubled thirteen year old kid then. I waited four long years for Ian to return, still having strong hopes which soon started to weaken as days passed. I met Claire two years later and everything turned out fine again.

 

I stopped crying every now and then. My life got better, healthier and I finally felt accepted once again with Claire by my side. I learned to get used to that empty feeling to the point where it didn't feel empty anymore; to the point where he didn't even exist in my life.

 

Now I actually hear sentences coming out of his mouth, directed towards me? How was I supposed to react? This isn't some cliche romance novel where the girl forgives the guy and they live happily ever after in the end. This isn't some fairytale fiction. This is reality.

 

Does Claire know about this? No. She doesn't and I don't plan on telling her. She doesn't need to know because I've decided that it didn't happen.

 

He and I were never friends.

 

***

 

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