♥ I See All My Dreams Die ♥ *On Hold*

This is dedicated to my late mare Black Rose. I'll never forget you, Rose. I love you with all of my heart. You were always there for me, despite your horrible past, and for that I love you more than I can express with mere words. ♥ When Ellie starts at her new school, her only friend is her mare, Dream. On the first day, she catches the attention of a young male teacher. Ellie knows it's wrong, but she starts to like the man who is so talented...


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I sit in Summer's stall, my head resting against the wall. She's lying down beside me and has her near fore across my legs. I smile; she's so peaceful. She snorts and I play with her forelock. My girl.

 "I'm supposed to be the soldier

 Who never looses her composure

 Even though I hold the weight of the whole world on my shoulders

 I am never supposed to show it,

 My crew ain't supposed to know it," I sing he Eminem song softly to her. She looks up at me and blinks, her long black eyelashes coming together.

 I continue to stroke over her face. She was my therapy horse. I suffer from depression and was suicidal for a while and my parents got me into horse riding. After a while they bought my beautiful bay 15.2 hands cob cross with thoroughbred mare; Summer Dream. She's about eight but is so calm.

 She blows out onto my hands and I smile, pulling her ears gently. I maneuver so I'm lying down with my forehead against Summer's. I look into her eyes and smile. I've never felt love this strong. She saved me countless times by just letting me groom her, stay with her and ride her. I love her the end of the Earth and back.

 "Ellie?" I groan quietly as my mother calls me. She steps to the door and I pretend I can't see her. She takes out her phone and snaps a picture of mine and Summer's moment.

 "Ellie," she says gently, "we need to go." I place a kiss on Summer's forehead and climb to my feet. As I walk to the door she scrambles up, walking over and snuffling me. I stroke her cheek and drop another kiss, this time on her nose.

 As we walk away my mare whinnies after us. I look at her. Usually I spend all day with her. But today I have to enroll in a school. My mother can't stay off work to home school me. I'm fifteen now and I'm going into fourth year. I climb into the car and do my seat belt. The whole car ride is silent; my mother knowing that I don't want to go to school.

 "I understand that you might be afra-"

 "I'm not afraid!" I growl, climbing out of the car. She sighs but drops it. My jaw is tensed as we walk towards the school. I can see students in the classes. It wasn't people in this specific school that reduced me to the way I was, but they're all the same.

 My mother walks to the principal's office and I follow her. I'm fully aware that I have sawdust in my hair from lying in the stable with Summer and I smell like horse. I'm wearing my riding clothes. There's no way I was going to get changed just to please them.

 "Hello, I'm Mr Hallett. You mus be Ellie." He sticks a hand out and I take it reluctantly. I draw my gaze from his balding head and look out the window at the trees which are swaying slightly in the breeze.

 I don't bother listening as they iron out the details. I just keep my gaze fixed on the trees and daydream about my beautiful mare. I've entered her in a showjumping class for this weekend. It's only a metre ten class so I hope to do well.

 "Ellie? Yes or no?" I realise they were talking to me and snap my head around.

 "Er, can you repeat the question, please?"

 I'm glad to escape the stuffy office and go back to Summer's stall. I rest my head against hers and breath deeply, my headache fading. She has an amazing calming effect on me. I kiss her once before opening her door and going in.

 She nickers quietly and rests her chin on my shoulder. I stroke her neck, thinking about nothing and everything at the same time.

 "I love you, Summer. I'll never let you go."

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