※※※Quotes To Remember※※※

When you are bored, in need of some creatively hidden advice, or just looking for cool quotes, flip through this and your problems will be solved!

Warning: <<<the accuracy of the things mentioned above about the quotes in this blurb are not guaranteed>>>

Ps. I do not own any of these quotes whatsoever!

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29. Quote 29 (The one with all the smart-asses)

Category: Quotes from the tv show Big Bang Theory. [P.S. I love that show!]

1. "Ah, Sweden. Yeah, home of my favorite Muppet and, uh, second favorite meatball." -Sheldon in The Workplace Proximity

2. Sheldon: You sure your mothlike personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself? 

Amy: More and more sure. -In The Workplace Proximity

3. Sheldon: [about donating sperm] What if she winds up with a toddler who doesn't know if he should use an integral or a differential to solve the area under a curve? 

Leonard: I'm sure she'll still love him. 

Sheldon: I wouldn't. -In Pilot

4. [Discussing a large box of furniture which they have to take to the fourth floor, with the elevator out of order] 

Leonard: Well, we'll just have to take it up ourselves. 

Sheldon: I hardly think so. 

Leonard: Why not? 

Sheldon: Well, we don't have a dolly, or lifting belts, or any measurable upper body strength. 

Leonard: We don't need strength, we're physicists. We are the intellectual descendants of Archimedes. Give me a lever and a fulcrum and I could lift the earth. 

[The package starts falling on him] 

Leonard: I don't have this! I don't have this! I DON'T HAVE THIS! 

[Sheldon lifts the package off him] 

Sheldon: Archimedes would be so proud. 

Leonard: Well, do you have any ideas? 

Sheldon: Yeah, but they all involve a Green Lantern and a power ring. -In the Big Bran Hypothesis {1.02}

5. "O Gravity, thou art a heartless bitch." -Sheldon in Big Bran Hypothesis

6. Howard: Sheldon, if you were a robot, and I knew and you didn't, would you want me to tell you? 

Sheldon: That depends. When I learn that I'm a robot, will I be able to handle it? 

Howard: Maybe, although the history of science fiction is not on your side. 

Sheldon: Uh, let me ask you this: when I learn that I'm a robot, would I be bound by Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics? 

Raj: You might be bound by them right now. 

Howard: That's true. Have you ever harmed a human being, or, through inaction, allowed a human being to come to harm? 

Sheldon: Of course not. 

Raj: Have you ever harmed yourself or allowed yourself to be harmed except in cases where a human being would've been endangered? 

Sheldon: Well, no. 

Howard: I smell robot. -In The Fuzzy Boots Corollary

7. Leonard: What did Penny mean, "you'd make a cute couple"? 

Sheldon: Well, I assume she meant that the two of you together would constitute a couple that others might consider cute. An alternate, though somewhat less likely interpretation is that you could manufacture one. As in, "Oh, look, Leonard and Leslie made Mr. and Mrs. Goldfarb! Aren't they adorable?" 

Leonard: If Penny didn't know that Leslie had already turned me down, then that would unambiguously mean that she, Penny, thought I should ask her, Leslie, out, indicating that she, Penny, had no interest in me asking her, Penny, out; but because she did know that I had asked Leslie out, and that she, Leslie, had turned me down, then she, Penny, could be offering me consolation - "That's too bad, you would have made a cute couple..." - while thinking, "good, Leonard remains available." 

Sheldon: You're a lucky man, Leonard. 

Leonard: How so? 

Sheldon: You're talking to one of the three men in the Western Hemisphere capable of following that train of thought. 

Leonard: Well, what do you think? 

Sheldon: I said I could follow it, I didn't say I cared. -In the Hamburger Postulate

8. Leonard: [To Kurt] A Homo habilis just discovering his opposable thumbs says what? 

Kurt: [Confused] What? -In the Middle-Earth Paradigm

9. Leonard [while Howard is teaching Sheldon Mandarin] Why are you learning Chinese? 

Sheldon: I believe the Szechuan Palace has been passing off Orange Chicken as Tangerine Chicken, and I intend to confront them. 

Leonard: If I were you, I'd be more concerned about what they're passing off as chicken. 

[Penny comes in with an iPod in her hand.] 

Penny: I need to use your window. 

Leonard: Oh yeah, sure. Go ahead. 

Penny: [opening the window and throwing the iPod out of it] Hey, jerk face! You forgot your iPod! 

Leonard: [as Penny closes the window and starts to leave] What's going on? 

Penny: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on: that stupid, self-centered bastard [her ex-boyfriend] wrote about our sex life in his blog! [going back to the window and reopening it] Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard! [closing the window] Thank you. [leaves] 

Sheldon: [after a short pause, wanting to go back to the Mandarin lessons] Okay, where were we? 

Howard: [going to the computer] Not now. I have a blog to find. -In the Tangerine Factor

10. Amy: Have I ever told you you're like a sexy praying mantis? 

Sheldon: Every time you drink alcohol. 

Amy: You know what's wonderful about the praying mantis? They devour their mate. 

Sheldon: Your point being? 

Amy: [undoing her top button] Dessert is served. 

Sheldon: [unfazed] I just had cobbler. 

Amy: [redoing her top button] You know what? I'm done with this. 

[She gets up and starts to leave] 

Sheldon: Where are you going? 

Amy: I'm leaving. 

Sheldon: You can't leave. I need you. 

Amy: [stopped in her tracks] You do? 

Sheldon: Yes. You're my ride. 

Amy: Sheldon, you either say something meaningful and from the heart, or you and I are done. 

Sheldon: All right. [Offers her a seat] Please. [She sits down] Amy, when I look in your eyes and you're looking back in mine, everything feels not quite normal because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified. The truth is, I don't know what I feel, except...I know what kind of man I want to be. 

Amy: Sheldon...that was beautiful. 

Sheldon: I should hope so. That's from the first Spider-Man movie. 

Amy: I'll take it. 

Sheldon: Good. Now, I assume we're splitting the check? -In the Date Night Variable

11. Wil Wheaton: Sheldon, do you really think we're going to fight? 

Sheldon: My fists are not up here because I'm milking a giant, invisible cow. -In the Habitation Configuration

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I wanna know who your favorite character from the show is! Mine is Sheldon.  

Tell me which quote from them you prefer. 

And of course don't forget to request any future categories! I'll always do them and dedicate it to whoever asked for it.

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