Totes MacGyver's Collection of Short Stories/The Totes Collection, vol. 1

Chapter 1 - THe RuMpas pUmpAs
Chapter 2 - Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions
Chapter 3 - The Holiday of Regular Grass Gathering
Chapter 4 - Norman the (soon to be) Meatball Sandwich
Chapter 5 - George: Not an Ostrich
Chapter 6 - Ivana the Roast Beef Sandwich

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2. Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions - Alan

Once on an oopy scoopy afternoopy, there was a great tumbleweed blazing through the Costa Rican Capitol Building. “I am Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions. I provide truth. Not only truth, but wise decisions.” Then the Costa Rican Prime Minister approached Toopy. “Get lost,” He said. So Toopy hid in the garbage disposal. 

 

Later that oopy scoopy afternopy, the big fat Speaker of the House threw his granola bar wrapper in the garbage disposal. “I am Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions. I provide truth. Not only truth, but wise decisions.” The big fat Speaker of the House said, “Totes MacGyver,” Toopy then responded, “Your granola bar wrapper is recyclable. Put it in the recycle bin.” The big fat Speaker of the House said, “You betcha Mr. Dingo.”

 

Toopy then woke up in a dry gas station ice chest. Little did he know that Little Booby Stoopkin wanted ice for his collection. So Little Booby Stoopkin opened the ice chest. “Look at all this rip-skippity two-time timmy tim ice!” He did not notice the large tumbleweed in the ice chest. Toopy rose from the bottom of the ice chest to the top. “Hello Mr. Tumbleweed. I am Little Booby Stoopkin. I would like you to move so I can grab my ice for my collection. “I am Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions. I provide truth. Not only truth, but wise decisions.” This made Little Booby Stoopkin angry. “Move out the way, TUbBY BUn$? I must hurry because my house is 4 hours away and the ice usually never makes it.” This made Toopy confoopy-doo. “Why travel 4 hours for some measly-old sleasy-mold kreezy-sold ice? The glacier is right in your pantry.” Little Booby Stoopkin was pleased. “You betcha Mr. Dingo.”

 

Toopy woke in a bank in Detroopy. The bank was called Miscoopy Loopy Doo. Toopy the Doopy Tumbleweed heard a voice. “Greetings Sir Tumbleweed, would you care to make a deposit?” Toopy looked him sternly in the oops. “I am Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions. I provide truth. Not only truth, but wise decisions.” The banker replied, “You look like you need a deposit.” As soon as he said that a robber walked in and shot the banker in the face. Toopy the Tumbleweed approached the rooby dooby robber. “I am Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions. I provide truth. Not only truth, but wise decisions.” The robber replied, “Yo what’s up tumbleweedy wit da treaty to feedy the needy?” Toopy looked at the robber and said, “You should apologize for shooting that man in the face. I bet it really hurt his feelings.” The robber apologized to the banker. “Now Shoopy before I boopy your doopy.” Said Toopy. The robber replied, “You betcha Mr. Dingo.

 

The next morning Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions woke up and realized he was a tumbleweed, so he rolled straight into a cactus and died.

 

FIN

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