Totes MacGyver's Collection of Short Stories/The Totes Collection, vol. 1

Chapter 1 - THe RuMpas pUmpAs
Chapter 2 - Toopy the Tumbleweed del Truth and Wise Decisions
Chapter 3 - The Holiday of Regular Grass Gathering
Chapter 4 - Norman the (soon to be) Meatball Sandwich
Chapter 5 - George: Not an Ostrich
Chapter 6 - Ivana the Roast Beef Sandwich

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1. THe RuMpas pUmpAs - Paul

  I went out for a Sandwich. It was good. I  want another Sandwich. My Sandwich had cheese. It was swiss cheese. I like swiss cheese. "Lettuce is a good source of vitamin 6." said h. "I think my sandwich also had asperagus on IT." no one said ever. ufgzirvbapidbva;rfh. "What is THe RuMpas pUmpAs?" "Yes, yes it is."

     I have a soccer game in 6 minutes. I might be late for my soccer game. "Would you like to come?" said Roo-fffus. "No?"

     I sure do like a good quarter pounder with meatballs and lasagna. I also like it with THe RuMpas pUmpAs. "What is THe RuMpas pUmpAs?""Look in your heart, and you will find the answer."

     I have a mind reading class in exactly 71 seconds. How will I ever get there in time? Should I take the bus? Or ride my tricycle? I have made a small graph to determine my answer:

Bus:

 Pros- Faster; Safer crossing strEets.

 Cons- I have to see people; I must wait for the bus.

Tricycle:

 Pros- Don't have to see people; Attracts babes; Don't have to wait for bus.

 Cons- Less safe; Takes more time.

RuMpas pUmpAs:

 Pros- Totes

 Cons- None

I will take THe RuMpas pUmpAs to get to my mind reading class. "What is THe RuMpas pUmpAs?"

     Billy is such a good painter. Today he painted 6 crabs, 2 orcas, and now he is painting THe RuMpas pUmpAs. "What is THe RuMpass pUmpaSs?" I have 2 quarters in my back pocket.

     Billy is getting very impatient. "What is THe RuMpas pUmpAs?" says Billy. Billy just got stabbed. Billy is sad. Billy is also dead. "Don't worry Billy, THe RuMpas pUmpAs will save you!" THe RuMpas pUmpAs saved Billy. "What is THe RuMpas pUmpAs?" "Probably."

 

FIN

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