A Knife In Her Fist

This Is A Story Based On The Challenges I Faced During My Childhood Life. How I Faced Depression, And How Difficult It Is To Live In A Life Of Darkness.


7. Today Was Better

  I heard my sister shouting, and she woke me up. I got up quick, and asked her what's up. She said it's seven. I looked at the clock, and jumped out of bed. I have forgotten to put the alarm. I got out of bed, and dressed as quick as I can. I barely made it, and Jasmil came for me. I was tired because getting up in a rush was horrible. When I got to school Alexis was there with Leonard. I said hi, and we talked for some minutes. Alexis asked if him, and Josua could come over to play video games. Alexis came over many times, but Josua wasn't really a friend. He was cool, but really rude. I couldn't say no to my best friend, so I told him yes. Jasmil isn't really into playing video games, but i'm a complete gamer. I really don't like saying I am becuase at my school the girls should be girly, and sweet. As for me I was more into guy stuff, and wasn't really nice. 

  The whole day passed quick, and school was better than other days. I met Jasmil at the tree after school. Like we didn't live a mile from school we had to go walking every single day. I didn't mind becuase it helped me think, and I didn't have to do exercise after all that walking. When I got home my parents were there. I told them that Alexis, and Josua were coming they didn't mind, and mom was happy to know I had friends coming over. 

  I went into my room, and got my Ipod. I started hearing music when my oldest brother told me to shut it down. He never let me do anything. He was always cruel, but like he was the oldest I had to listen. I watched T.V. for a while. I got bored, and went on the computer I went on to my Journal I started typing:

  May 23, 2013 3:30 p.m.

  Today was better. There was no cutting, and no crying. I actually felt better then most days. I told my friend Leonard the news he was really happy. I said sorry to Leonard, Olivia, and Roni because I never listened when they were just trying to help me out. They were right it was ugly, and I was just hurting myself. I realize that now. I spent time with Alexis, and Josua. They know how to cheer me up, and they know they have to enjoy life. I’m learning from them a lot, and I’m happy to know I have them as friends. They might come over around 5:00 to play video games, but I know that were going to have fun. I hope tomorrow is the same as today, and I hope it’s like this all my life. I imagine life this beautiful, and that I’m not the only one like this. Many people are trying to face depression. I try to laugh, and I don’t feel sad or lonely anymore. Ms. Sona talked to us about the kids in Oklahoma. It’s very sad how a tornado can take the lives of innocent kids. They had their whole lives ahead. She told us something that made sense. She said that when you feel down that we should think of those who are having worst times. She was right I was fed up saying my life was the worst, but many people were dying everyday.

   Many people are scared to die, but we all while one day. I never actually thought on how I was going to die, but I knew if I ever did I’d be ready. God will bring me into heaven, and yes I’m going to be full of sins, because of what happened, but I know he loves me. He’ll forgive me, and if he doesn’t he’d be right too.  When I got home it actually felt like home. I was used to being lonely, and never talking to anyone, but mom and dad were both home. I think they understood what I said. I’m happy to know they actually care. Will I better go Journal I’m very tired. I might take a nap before the guys come. Bye. 

  I got off the computer, and as I said I went to take a nap. It was about four thirty when I woke up. I went into the living room, and sat down. I asked my brother if he wanted to play video games with Alexis, and Josua. He loved playing with Alexis they were like brothers. We played a quick game before the guys came. As always, my brother won. When we finished I heard a knock on the door. I opened it, and saw Alexis, and Josua. I told them to come in, and sat on the living room. We started playing for a while, and when we were finished we went outside. The guys were bored, and we decided to go to the park. After a while the guys went home, and my borther and I left. 

    It was getting late, and I have forgotten that I had to hangout with the boy. We had talked so much, and I still didn't know his name. When we got there he was sitting in the usual spot. I went up to him, and he smiled. I said I was sorry that I have been so late. He said it was ok, but that he had to go. I got a little upset, and said bye to him. I had been late, and that kind of made me mad. I always remembered things. 

  I went inside, and got something to eat. Mom had made cupcakes, so I ate some. When I was finsihed I got my pajamas, and got into the shower. After a long shower I decided to watch a scary movie with dad. Dad and I always love watching scary movies together becuase my brother, and sister didn't really like them. We both never really got scared over horror films they made us laugh instead. Mom was always saying how Dad and me always had our wierd ways. After watching two hours of hilarious movies I decided to go to sleep. I said good night to dad, and the rest of the family, and went to my room. I got my blanket, took my glasses off, and fell asleep quickly. 

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