A Knife In Her Fist

This Is A Story Based On The Challenges I Faced During My Childhood Life. How I Faced Depression, And How Difficult It Is To Live In A Life Of Darkness.


6. They Found Out!

  I got on my phone when I got in bed, and started talking to Roni about my problem. He wanted to help, and I accepted. He always did tell me to stop, and I really did want to. I had cutted when I went in the shower, and it went to far that I had to put bandages in my hand. My mom saw me sending someone messages, and told me to show her. She found out, and got so mad. Dad talked to me, and mom was never good with words. She made things worse when she is mad. We talked, and told mom to forgive me. She did, and I fell asleep. All the crying made me sleepy. 

  When I woke up mom was making pancakes. She was extra nice to me, and I thought it was because of what happened yesterday. I ate, and went on my computer to write in my Journal: 

  May 22, 2013 3:59 p.m.


  Sorry I didn’t write yesterday. The lights went off in my house, and when they came back my parents found out everything. I was talking to my friend from History, and mom saw me, and thought I was watching something bad. She told me to show her the messages, but couldn’t understand it because it was in English. I told her that he cutted and was asking him how he stopped, but never said that I did these things. She then looked at my wrist, and saw the bandages. She made me go in the room, and take them off. When she saw the blood her face got mad. She called dad, and we started talking about how this was wrong. I was crying. My mom never was good with words she would cry, and she managed to tell me that what I was doing was awful.

  Dad told me most of what I wanted to know. He told me what I was winning with this. I kept crying, and told him I felt lonely. I told him he was never here, and that they didn’t pay attention to me. He said he could leave his job, and we could be living poorly. I told him that he didn’t have to do that. After the talking we decided to get help from a therapist. I wasn’t crazy, but I needed the help. I promised my friends I would try to stop, and I told my mom I was so sorry. She forgave me, and we hugged. 

  When I was finished I got dressed in a navy blue dress, and some high tops. I had a wierd styles, but I like it. I went outside, and sat down in my truck. It was my thinking spot, and I really liked just looking at the kids pass. They made me think of how I was a kid. No care in the world, always happy. If you tripped you would always get up. You didn't have to worry what people thought or what they said. The boy I have seen last time came over. I kind of got excited, but I barely even knew him. We started talking, and then the worse thing happened. He saw my scars. He told what I have done. I had to explain, but he understood me, and told me about his past life. We really connected, but I didn't want a boyfriend. Past life ws still on my mind, and it made me think that all boys are the same. I told him we had to go, and promised to talk to him tomorrow. He smiled, and said bye. A day without crying, and cutting really made my day. I just hope it stays that way. 


A/N Sorry It's Kind Of Short. Well My Real Name Is Kimberly, but Alexandra is just the name that replaces me. I hope you guys understand that this story is really important to me. I want to publish it so people can know what it's like. Thanks for your comments. 

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