The UnknowN

Under the masks hides so much, and when it comes to showing emotions, How do you feel? I'd ask myself this everyday and nobody knew the answer. Well if I could even call it an answer - I'd most likely be drowning in a world of pain. A dangerous situation overtakes my life, and I just stand there... looking down at an open world full of fear and crime. I'd even have the ability to fly if I believed hard enough.

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2. Recycling The Past

Chapter 2: Recycling The Past

A Discovery of fiction and Non-Fiction, it was no surprise; I had found a true calling. Last year me and my dad went to a swimming zone, named after a great warrior, it hadn’t been much of a legend to me though... Dad would just nag and nag, I’d keep a closer eye on the outside of this zone. Mother always said to me that it’s the outside that needs to be watched, and the inside needs to be stable.

Didn’t make much sense back then, I still try to figure out what she meant by all that. Until the day it turned to me answering her little question... Dad had planned an escape from his own wife, my own mother being left in the dark for eternity. He had his cases packed, and I had my belongings shipped away to a new land. Dad didn’t explain what land we’re going to, he just waved and said “Ha-ha”.

The following morning, Mother had awoken from her slumber and she noticed her belongings missing. Her own clothes and extra items stolen from her, even her wedding ring... I never noticed that dad had been a thief. Until I realized that my own father has no business or job. I asked him whether it would be possible to get him employed, and he said “The outside is no place for a man like me”, he had a point. I wouldn’t want to make the same mistakes my mother made...

“You have a lot about you, don’t you...?” She whispered, her fleeing away from me only made me wonder more. “Why are you so afraid?” I asked, it had been the appropriate question to ask a shivering girl, she looked so fragile in many ways. Her mind worked on and off, she actually knew how to react to my responses. As instantly as possible I presumed, and she would just laugh...

“A-Afraid...?” She gasped; her breath felt like it had been closed instantly. “A final breath for a girl like me”, she whispered in the palm of her hand, her thin fingers delicately scraping off her arm. “Do you not feel alone?” I asked again, this question had been eating my brain. “Alone, what is alone though?” She asked me, every time I asked a question, the plot thickened and I wanted to know more about her. She had this little way of keeping me interested, her lack of intelligence?

“Your father would miss you... dearly” she whispered, this time her breath had been warmer. I could feel it from the area I had been sitting around. “Is this what it comes to, and I’m here dressed as a widow?” She replied I couldn’t figure out if she is talking to me or herself. Mysterious girl should have named her that, until she left me with a small journal. It may have just been a fluke...

“Take this... and I’ll take what I gained, maybe I’ll see you another time, Or maybe not”. Her instant conversation only twisted my questions further. My mind wanted to know so much more about her, it now had the sense to wonder things. It was as if she had cleared my mind of the problems I’m having. She had wiped my mind completely, turning me into a whole new person.

“Son..., are you coming in?” Father asked. I never knew he would open those doors to me again. “Sure...” I whispered. my breath felt pure, A little too dry though. “What a dumb excuse, I had been sitting here not caring about my own family. Dad noticed that I had been a little strange lately, he figured I’d be better off in a medical camp. Something I presumed he made up...

 

“Pouring like never before, huh son?” Dad whispered in his croaky voice. I would have just nodded usually, only this time I felt a sense of wonder to know what he meant by that. “Pouring dad?” I asked, he laughed at what I said. I couldn’t figure out why, and the questions only stacked higher, making me lose concentration on what’s more important. Dad loosened his grip from around the door handle, and slowly limped towards his comfy chair.

“Did you not see anyone else with me?” I asked. My sudden twitching made me look insane. Although father felt it may just be the cold draughts outside. “I saw what you wanted me to see, a small child belonging to me” dad said. he made a rhyme, it felt as if dad had changed too. “Pulling my leg again huh, dad?” I giggled, and he smirked with his eyes closing slowly. “No... I’m just making sure you know what you’re up against” Dad laughed evilly, it sounded so devilish, I wanted to just leave my own house. His smile looked like something from a movie...

Slamming the front door behind me, it had been the best for my dad, and possibly even for me. More dangerous than ever before, getting away from my father had leaded me down the right path. I had settled for calm ambience, and the bristling winds changing direction. The girl I saw, her eyes looked cute in a way. I loved the sudden movements, her soul felt trapped in a way I imagined.

Reaching out to grab her hand freaked her out. I tried to unravel why she’d be afraid of me... I’m young and I’m fragile a little like her. She always had the cute looks, and I just had the average smile to gain myself a girl. The intelligence...? Perhaps, and possibly even the looks too. Until I realized that she had been afraid of something I did. Her last encounter with me was yesterday...

“Is it a story of your life” I asked myself, it had been a sudden question appearing in my head. Long lost fogs overlapping my closed memory, I could feel the sensation of breaking freedom. Back at our wall, she may have been freaked out by me. Her violent behaviour took a turn for the worse... all of a sudden, her cuteness had faded and the demonic side got the better of her. She twisted her eye pupils and scrunched up her face. I couldn’t believe what I had seen, she giggled with a smirk.

“You awake son...?” Dad said. I could hear him in my head. “Get out of my head!” I screamed, the random sounds of father speaking haunted me. “Wake up sir; we’re trying to save you!” Someone else screamed, and then I heard my mum talking... her sudden wakeup call? Dad must have lied to me about what she said, I had to listen closely. My mind had focussed on the importance of how my life went wrong. Dad ignored me back then, and he would just laugh and give me new things.

“I’ll take this journal okay...? And then I’ll bury it with your true love!” I heard a voice scream, sounded a little like mum. Although, can I really believe what my mind is telling me?  She sounded frightened, a little insane too. Dad sounded more heroic than usual... and I couldn’t get a tune out of my head. Just as I thought mother had lost it, I heard them talk again. “Bury you...?” I heard dad say, he must have been a little drunk... back then, I remember him holding vodka in his hand.

“Just a joke to you, and that’s all I’ll ever be!” Mother screamed, her voice sounded as if it had been in danger since the beginning. Dad’s voice ended, and all I heard was me screaming... “Mum... Mum!” My own voice, it sounded like me... and it most likely was me. Dad... I don’t understand what you have done... and what have I done to deserve this! Risky perhaps and I threatened myself?

 

April 2nd 2003

“Do you think our baby will need more food...?” Mother had asked, father just sat there with his eyes closed. “It needs what it needs, and I need what I need...” Father replied, his lazy body still snoring away... I wouldn’t have seen a clearer view, even if I had tried! Mother looked frightened, her hand looked burnt. I always asked her how she got that injury, she coughed and walked away.

“Our son... Our Daughter, it may need us to depend on!” Mother screamed her random outburst startled me; I wanted to just go to my empty room and cry. Dad ignored mum’s random behaviour, and then he approached me upstairs. His eyes looked red, as if he had been doing drugs. “I had a late shift okay...? And then your mother, she is crazy!” Dad sat down beside me, he screamed and when subtle with his voice. I tried to stay calm, and he would just read me a story...

Downstairs I could hear crashing, the sounds of plates colliding with walls. I could hear our neighbours knocking on our walls. Everywhere I looked, I felt surrounded with madness. Until I pushed a sleeping father off me, and I ran for the stairs. The thudding and knocking kept me awake, and I just wanted to sleep off this nightmare. And that’s when I found my poor mother... the wallpaper had been carved into numbers, and even the floor had been written on with red ink.

Not much was known about her, I only knew her as a mum. Her first name stayed quiet, father would never mention it. He addressed her as “Babe” or anything she wanted. Dad had been sleeping once again, and I just wanted to understand why my own mother is looking at the corner of the room. Her hands on her head, as if someone was going to attack her. She screamed my name over and over again, and I just wanted to help her... The lights went out, and that’s when I found her...

“Mum... Mum!” I screamed from the top of my lungs, I wanted her to be okay... “I-Is that you honey...?”

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