Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"

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13. Marley

Chapter 13 - Marley 

It's eleven-fifteen, where are they? I have been pacing back and forth ever since Louis and Cassie left for their date. Although I would never say it out loud, I wish it wasn't a date, I am too jealous for my liking. But, I want Louis to be happy and since he only wants a friendship, maybe, I'm going to give him the best I can, and that's Cassie. Cassie is one of the most level and strong-headed people I have ever met. Her and Louis are both very stubborn, which is why I chose her.

The door opens and I smile when I see Louis closing the door behind him. "You're here! How did it go? Did you have a good time? Where's Cassie?" 

"She left," he says, sitting down. "And honestly...it wasn't terrible." The smile on his face gives away it was better than he would like to admit. Does he like her? Did they kiss? Oh, if they kissed...

"Do you like her?" I press.

He clears his throat and thinks for a whole twenty seconds before he answers me. "I...I like her a lot. I might even ask her out."

My heart feels like it has been shot a million times over. I swallow the lump in my throat. "That's...great. I'm so glad you like her." I give him my best smile, but it is forced.

"Yeah...I'm going to bed." He says and leaves the room. 

I sigh, gathering my things and drive home, leaving Louis alone on the bus for the night. Everyone else left ten minutes after Louis and Cassie did. When I get home I immediately get into my pajamas and open my diary. Well, it's not really a diary, I don't start off every entry with, "Dear Diary..." but it's something I try to write in often. I always keep a journal, even when I was just learning to write I wrote what I was feeling. A blank page is in front of me and I grip my pen tighter as I start to write.



Why can't things be so much simpler? The boy I long to be around has gone and had a wonderful date with a girl. I guess I deserve it, I set up the whole thing. But that doesn't make it hurt any less. This boy, Louis doesn't even know how much I hate myself for liking him. I shouldn't really. He is rude and stubborn and five minutes after meeting him it was obvious he did not want to know me. Yet here I am, writing about how much I can't stop thinking about him. I don't want to, but some things you can't help right?



I stop, put my pen down and close my journal. The pink leather is smooth against my skin. It even has a little bow in the top right hand corner. My journal is set on my bedside table. After taking a look around my room at the boxes I have been packing, the over flowing suitcases, I switch off the light and drift into unconsciousness.

*****

The next morning I stare at my ceiling, not wanting to get out of bed. Three days. Three days until I am leaving Nashville and going out to live my dream. It can't come fast enough yet I wish time would slow down so I can soak up as much of this town as I can before it's too late. But I am ready, I am ready to do this.

After taking a long shower I get dressed and call Cassie, asking her to come over. I want her opinion on the date because I would feel terrible if she didn't like Louis back. I know how that feels, and it's hurts. Badly. 

Only fifteen minutes later does the knock on my door pull me away from my school work. I wanted to catch up on some reading while I waited for Cassie. I put my book aside. "Hey." I smile.

"Hi," she says, taking a seat on the bed. "What's up?"

"I want to know how the date with Louis went." I take a sit across from her and we sit Indian style facing each other. These positions remind me of sleepovers we had at twelve years old, telling each other secrets. 

"It was okay." She shrugs.

"Okay?" I repeat.

"Yeah, it was fine. I'm not into Louis like that and he's not into me like that so we don't have a problem. I'm sorry, I know you wanted us to go out, but I don't think Louis and I are going to happen." She tells me.

"Oh," I say, feeling bad for Louis. The girl he likes doesn't like him back.

"Why do you look so sad, girl? It's fine really. I had a nice time and I'm sure Louis and I can be friends. It was only one date, we're not in love or anything." 

"It's not that..." I mutter.

"Than what is it?"

I pick at my fingernails. "I shouldn't say...Louis will get upset with me."

"Marley...tell me. Please?" Cassie begs.

I sigh. "Louis told me that he wants to ask you out again and he likes you more than a friend so please don't be mad at him." I say all in one breath.

Her eyes widen, and then anger takes over her features. "He said that?"

"Y-yeah..." I stutter. I really shouldn't have said that. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she says through gritted teeth. "Come on."

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"To kick Louis Tomlinson's ass, that's what." 

Cassie marches right out of the house and I follow her, worried as to what she is up to.

*****

"Where is the bus?" I ask when we pull into the lot. Cassie shrugs and I call Parker, she might know.

"Hey!"

"Hi Parker. Do you know where the boys are today?" I ask nicely.

"Yeah, they're doing an interview in about an hour, the studio is down on Rock Hill Road. You should come down!"

"I will, thanks." I hang up and tell Cassie where to drive.

When we pull up, Cassie practically sprints to the side doors. Parker is waiting for me and lets the security guard know that it's alright that we are here.

"Hi Cassie." Parker smiles.

"Hi, where is Louis Tomlinson?" Cassie asks, hardly acknowledging the brown haired girl.

"He's...over there." Parker points over her shoulder.

Cassie grabs my hand and drags me to where Louis is sitting. He is on his phone, doing God knows what. "Louis Tomlinson!" 

He looks up and his eyes widen. "What are you guys doing here?"

"What is your damn problem?" Cassie snaps.

"Cassie!" I hiss. "What is going on?"

Cassie sighs. "Louis, Marley told me that you told her that you like me. What the actual fuck were you thinking?"

Louis' face pales. Does he not feel that way? "I..um...I said..." He mutters.

"Louis?" I ask softly. "Do you really like Cassie?" I know it is making him extremely uncomfortable but I need to know if he lied.

"No, I don't like her as more than a friend, Marley." Louis admits and I frown.

"Why did you lie?" Cassie and I ask at the same time.

Louis' eyes meet mine and they stay locked for a long time as I search for an answer. "I...I don't know." Louis says and looks away.

I turn to Cassie. "I'm sorry for the confusion. But I am glad you two are friends."

Cassie gives me a weak smile. "I'm sorry for acting like a psycho bitch. I don't like it when people lie, especially when it's about me. Louis here thought it would be a smart move, although the reason is beyond me."

"It's alright." I say.

"I think I'm going to go, see you around Doncaster." Cassie says, whacking Louis' arm.

He gives her a smile and when he turns to me his smile widens. I roll my eyes. "I'll never understand boys." I groan.

"And I'll never understand girls." He smiles.

*****

I only stay for about half of the boys' interview before I go back home to do some more studying at packing. After two hours of working I take a break and turn on Jeopardy. My phone buzzes and when I check to see who it is, Parker's name flashes across the screen. It's a text message.

When I open it, it has eight names and phone numbers. Harry, Liam, Niall, Louis, Zayn, Amabel, Paul and Lou Teasdale are all listed along with their phone numbers. I thank her and save each to my phone. I'm sure those will come in handy.

The front door opens and when I go downstairs, I am greeted by my dad. "How was work?" I ask him.

"It was great." He smiles. My father is a Physics teacher at the high school I went to. He was never my teacher, but he might as well have been from how much he taught me.

"Is your mom home yet?"

"No," I answer. "I'll make dinner."

My mother is a gynecologist. As terrible as that may sound, someone has to do it. As I chop the peppers and bread the chicken my mother walks in the door.

"Something smells wonderful." She announces and takes a seat at the table. Both my parents engage in conversation with me as I make dinner for us.

It has always been like this. The three of us after my sister left. Even before that I made meals for us all the time. It is a way of giving back to my parents. And though something as little as cooking dinner does for them, it makes me happy to spend some quality time with the two people who love me the most.

I am going to miss this desperately. Sitting around the table with my family. Waking up to the pictures on the wall of myself that I drew when I was seven. But I am all grown up now, and so this is why I am starting to appreciate these moments.

I've got to cherish them while they're still around.

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