Feel Again (Louis Tomlinson)

{Book 3 - COMPLETE} All Marley Pennington wanted to do since her freshman year of high school was to turn her life around. To be someone she always wanted to be, and when she gets her dream job, everything seems to be headed in the right direction.
But Louis Tomlinson is another story. He's alone, afraid, and just wanting everything to go back to normal, before everything was ruined. Marley, a well-liked and cheery person tries to change Louis' look on life and love.

"Yeah with you
I can feel again
I'm feeling better ever since you know me
I was a lonely soul but that's the old me"


14. Louis

Chapter 14 - Louis

As much as I hate lying, I have become very good at it, unfortunately. At least I think I have. I lied twice. Once when I told Marley that I have feelings for Cassie, and when I told Marley that I didn't know why I lied to her.

I know, but admitting it to myself will be harder that admitting it to her. I can't stop thinking about her, and as much as I scold myself for doing it, it feels better than I thought possible. The giddy feeling I get when she appears almost out of nowhere. No matter how hard I try to rid her of my dreams and thoughts I can't. Sometimes it works, but most of the time her face and laugh is something that follows me.

When I am distracted benefits me in both a positive and a negative way. Positively Marley is nowhere to be found in my train of thought, and when I think of her again, I can't help but smile and it's like I am falling for her, and I don't even know why. Before, I would have rather stick needles in my eyes than hear her Southern American accent but now, I find myself reliving conversations we've had just to hear it again.

What the hell has gotten into me?

We leave Nashville in two days, it seems unreal. I am excited to perform in front of big crowds again. Today we have the day off, and Marley has been here for hours already. Ever since she got the confirmation call she's been either here with us or at her house packing. The lads really like her. Her and Lou have been spending a lot of time together since they are now co-workers. Marley is talking with Niall on the couch and my eyes flicker over to them occasionally. I have to keep her thinking that I don't care what she thinks about me. If I tell her that I've been running in circles thinking about her, she might want to jump into something, and that's what I am most afraid of.

I want to do something for her. She helped me when I was hung over and even though I didn't deserve it, she did it anyways. I know that she is upset about leaving her mum and dad, and although she hasn't mentioned her M.I.A. pregnant sister lately, I can tell it's going to be hard on her. I frown when I picture her getting upset.

I check Twitter out of pure boredom and I think of something as I am scrolling through my mentions. I type Marley's name into the search box as do a mental fist pump when I come across her account. I follow her, and about four seconds later her phone makes a notification sound.

Marley reaches to the table and picks up her phone, looking at the screen. Her eyes widen and find mine, mouth dropping. "Louis!"

"What?" I keep a straight face.

"Why did you do that?" She cries, but a smile is fighting its way onto her lips.

I shrug. "I don't know."

She keeps her eyes on her phone for a few seconds. "I have already gained 80 followers since you followed me!"

"I want to follow you!" Harry exclaims.

"Me too!" Niall chimes.

"No! Don't!" Marley pleads but it's no use. Everyone in the room takes out their phones and Marley hides her face in her hands. I chuckle at her embarrassment. "All of you are evil."

"Do you have an Instagram?" Harry asks her. I roll my eyes.

"I am telling you nothing, Harry," she says. "Can't we watch a movie or something? Something funny, I could use a laugh."

"Fine," Zayn sighs and puts in a DVD. I close the blinds and everyone takes a seat.

To be completely honest, I don't pay attention to the film at all. I keep stealing glances at Marley. When her eyes flicker over in my direction I look away and pretend to be interested in the movie.

I don't want to seem like an ass. If Marley thinks I am a bad person I know I will do anything to change her mind, that's why I end up standing. "Can I talk to you for a minute?" I ask her, and she seems baffled, but stands up and follows me to the bunks. She doesn't say anything, just folds her arms and stares at me, waiting. "Well um...did you want to, maybe, go get some coffee or something?" I scratch the back of my neck in nervousness.

Her eyes widen and her arms drop to her sides. "Like...like a date?"

"No!" I protest. "No, I mean as friends. You and me are friends."

"Yeah," she whispers, avoiding my gaze. "Sure. Let's go."

"Good, that movie was pretty lame anyways." I give her a smile but she hardly returns it.

This is not a date. The thought of it actually being one makes me frightened yet excited at the same time. We wave goodbye to everyone else; they give us confused looks.

"Where you two headed?" Zayn asks, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Just out, be back soon." I shortly answer and we leave the bus. After we get in my car I start the engine and pull away, driving to the same café she took me to. "I'm sorry." I blurt. I can't believe I am apologizing.

"For what?"

I sigh. "Being a dick all the time."

She laughs. "I won't deny that."

"Let's play 20 questions." I suggest.

"What? Isn't that a game for like, middle schoolers?"

"Maybe," I muse, "but I hardly know anything about you."

"True," she sighs. "Alright. You can ask first."

I tap my chin in a thinking manner. "What is your favorite color?"

"Pink," she answers immediately. I knew it.

"Favorite year at school?"

"Senior year."

I am little nervous about this next one but I find myself asking before I can stop myself. "Are you a virgin?"

Marley chokes and I look over at her. "Louis!" She whacks my arm. "I am not answering that."

"It's part of the game," I point out. "Friends tell each other these things." A pang of something that I don't know what to label hits my chest every time I say the word friends.

"Fine," she huffs, then seems to get uncomfortable, but in a sad, upset way. "No, I am not a virgin."

Something about her body language tells me not to dwell on it any further. So I don't. "Pet peeve?"

"When things are not a certain way, I guess. I have known what I wanted to do since I was four. I don't like it when things are messy because it just bothers me for some reason. I like to have things planned out, otherwise I worry too much."

I smile. It's...cute really. Wait, what? No! I tell myself. She is not cute. "What is your favorite season?"

"Summer, although we don't get much of anything else here. I can count the number of times I have seen snow with one hand."

My jaw drops. "Are you serious? Do you even like snow?"

Marley crinkles her nose. "Not really."

I shake my head as I pull into the shop and we order our drinks and take our seats before I get back to the game. "How do you not like snow? It's so much fun when there is a lot of it, you're insane."

She shrugs and laughs. "It's cold, I don't like the cold."

"Wow," I shake my head.

"My turn." Marley says.

"But I haven't asked you twenty questions." I point out.

"Doesn't matter. It's my turn."

"Fine," I give in. I want to know more about her. These little things are the things I like the best.

"What is your favorite color?"

"I don't have one." I answer.

"Everyone has a favorite color."

I shrug. "Not me."

"Fine. What is something that you hate doing?"

Thinking about you all the time. "Doing the dishes. That is absolutely horrid."

Marley laughs. "If you were not singing, what would you be doing?"

I take a drink before I reply. "I would like to think I would be a teacher."

She frowns. "You don't seem very confident."

I look down. "I guess it's hard to picture myself doing anything other than singing."

"That's your problem."

My head snaps up. "What is?"

"You don't have confidence in yourself." Marley says it like it's completely obvious.

"Yes I do." I insist.

She shakes her head. "You seem so unsure of everything, Louis. I can see you second-guessing yourself on a lot. You're amazing at what you do and you have a lot of people to support you."

I meet her eyes. "Yeah?"

"All you need is a leap of faith."

Of course I second-guess myself. Since Eleanor and I ended, I seem to think I am going to mess everything up, like I did with her. It was my fault, wasn't it? Of course it was.

Marley laughs and when I look up, she is looking over my shoulder. I turn, and see a guy about our age smiling at her. I turn back around to see her blushing. She's fucking blushing. I give the guy a death glare, and if looks could kill, he would be on the ground.

"What was that?" She asks.

"What was what?" I fire back casually.

"That. You were so rude to that guy. He seemed very nice."

I scowl. "Hardly." Something that only could be described as jealousy flares inside me at the image of her going over there and talking to that prick.

Marley sighs. "Would you like to go back now? I have some last minute packing to do."

I nod and drive her back, where she stays with us for a few more minutes before driving back home. She leaves in what seems like a rush and when the door closes, all eyes are on me.

"What did you do?" Parker asks.

"Nothing!" I protest. "We just had some coffee and came back. Lay off it." I grumble, and then go to my bunk where I do nothing but stare at the ceiling.

Why do they always assume it was me that messed everything up?

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