Firecracker

I was left with the state, foster home after foster home, school after school. But this one’s different, this family they live in a different country. They want me; they said I was unique and beautiful. I’m seventeen now and I’m being adopted by a family in England.

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6. Chapter five- I told you what?

 

  I slowly rolled over I had no memory of last night, did I drink? No because if I had I would have a hangover, right? I lifted my head from the pillow opening my eyes. I felt an arm wrapped around my waist, shit what happened!?  I looked up seeing Harry laid underneath me, his eyes were closed, mouth slightly agape, his hair was messily thrown all over the pillow as he let out soft breaths. I carefully unwrapped myself from his body and sat up in bed staring at him. He really was sweet, one of the best friends I could ask for. I picked up his hands from the bed and laid it on my knee putting my hand over it, for some reason I just enjoyed looking at him sleep. He looked like a little kid, so calm and peaceful. I wonder what I looked like when I slept.

“Hey, Haz wake up!” I whispered gently kicking his side with my left foot. He stirred but didn’t wake, not even a little. I kicked him softly again but this time I sort of pushed his body with my foot. He sighed facing me his hand still resting on my knee with my hand over it, I leaned forward grabbing his shoulder. I started shaking him, his body moving back and forth causing his eyes to finally open I smiled.

“Good, you’re up.” I laughed he smiled at me moving some curls from his face.

“Mm I don’t know you tell me?” he laughed sighed sarcastically. I gave him the don’t-be-a-dip-shit look and he just laughed. I laughed with him but then I got curious, I didn’t remember a thing.

“Harry what happened last night?” I asked, our faces suddenly became serious the air around us thick with emotion.

“Did I get drunk?” I questioned him, he sat up nodding his head.

“Di that really happen?” he asked his face had dropped, looking as if he could cry at any moment. Now I was confused, no I was beyond confused.

“Did what really happen? Harry what did I say last night?” I asked my eyes now wide as a list of what I could I have possibly said run through my mind.

“Did he really……. rape you?” he asked his eyes were red now, my throat burned. Did I tell him? My burning throat tightened, what did I say?

“Did who rape me?” I asked as if I didn’t know what he was talking about, my voice was hoarse and higher pitched.

“Did your grandpa really rape you?” he asked a tear making its way down his face, my face paled and I gasped as the memories ran through my mind. Suddenly I felt uncomfortable about everything, Harry being in my bed, being in my room, the clothes I was wearing, everything seemed cold and distant. I didn’t know what to say, I’ve never told anyone I didn’t know how to say it or bring it up. What to tell and what not to tell, everything was new to me. He brought his hand up to my face dragging his thumb over my cheek, when he pulled away I saw it shine it the light. Was I crying? My chest started heaving up and down, faster, faster I tried taking deep breaths but it was as if my lungs refused. My breaths were shorter and shorter, they became faster, and my heart sped up sending a sharp pain through my upper body.

I was having a panic attack.

He pulled me in for a hug but I pushed him away I felt disgusting, I felt the same way I had after it had happened. It’s like I was reliving it, I wanted to wash it all off, I needed a shower. I need to get rid of the filth, the- the- everything. I stood from the bed running into the bathroom, not bothering with the door I ran to the shower turning on the water. I climbed in sitting under the cold water and started crying. I started crying for the first time in forever, I cried because I felt used, hated, wronged, dirty, to blame the list was endless. I felt broken again, for the first time in weeks I felt broken, I felt as though my world had come crashing in on me and I couldn’t do anything. I cried as the memories suddenly flashed through my mind, how he had held my tiny twelve year old body down on the bed, how I was so scared that I had frozen. I hadn’t known what to do. I hugged my legs closer to my chest hitting my head against my knee’s trying to get the images to leave. I felt arms wrap around me pulling me into their chest I let out whimpers.

***Harry’s P.O.V.***

I watched as she ran from the bed, moments later I heard running water. I quietly got up from the walking to the door of the bathroom, I saw a broken girl. Her red hair was a darker shade and it stuck to her neck and shoulders. She let out whimpers as she slammed her head on her knees, she was hurt. I carefully climbed in sitting behind her as she cried I pulled her into a hug, the water ran over her as she cried into my chest. Suddenly her breathing slowed and her whimpers stopped, had I really calmed her that quickly? I picked her up bridal style walking over to the linen closet across the hall I grabbed towels laying them on the carpet in her room; I then laid her down carefully wrapping her in a towel I grabbed another towel laying down next to her. Soon I followed her actions and joined her in sleep.

*****

I slowly opened my eyes yawning I saw Lil staring at me with a blank expression on her face.

“You don’t have to tell me.” I whispered to her, she shook her head sitting up.

“I know I might not have to tell you but I need to tell someone. I didn’t know it bothered me so much until you mentioned it and you never know,” she paused sighing. “It could help.”

“Ok.” I sat up too joining her she criss -cross her feet pulling the towel over her body more.

“Ask me anything and I’ll tell you.” She said seriously I nodded my head.

“Tell me everything from what happened to your parents, to how your grandparents died and how you ended up here.” I said looking over to her she nodded her head. Slowly she began talking.

“When I was six months old my mom and I were going to the store. When the light turned green she did what everybody else did, she took her foot from the brake and pushed on the gas. But she didn’t see it. She didn’t see the semi that had failed to yield the left hand turn. Meaning my mom was turning left when she died. On impact the dash board fell on her legs crushing them, the steering wheel jabbed into her chest and I sat there. A little bruise on my chest where my car seat had saved my life, sometimes my chest hurts even though I’m not six months old anymore but they had say it’s because it had cracked my collar bone and almost broke. They say it’ll hurt when the weather has big changes and sometimes it might not even hurt at all. That why I wear my bracelet on my left wrist, because she died turning left she was planning on giving me the bracelet when I got older but she died before she could. She was supposed to be a model; she had a lighter red color of hair then me with pretty blue eyes. She was an artist and loved music though she couldn’t sing to save her life. That’s why I don’t ride in cars.” She said with a smile she shivered a bit but just pulled the towel tighter around her and continued her story.

 “But then two months later it happened again. This time I wasn’t there. I was eight months old when my dad died. He was riding down the highway on his motorcycle when someone hit him purposely driving him off the road. He fell down a grass embankment the motorcycle falling on top of his body, killing him instantly. He was an artist but mostly a potter, he could create anything with his hands, and he had jet black hair and eyes just like Zayn’s. He also loved music his grandma was a professional singer and he was ok but like me didn’t like to sing in front of people. That’s why I don’t ride motorcycles.” She finished still smiling by now I was interested in her story then anything.

“I went to live with my grandparents, my grandpa was always giving me hugs that lasted a little too long, always spoiling me no matter what my grandma would say. I loved my grandma; she was like a mom to me perfect and always trying to get me to follow my artistic dreams but not my musical ones. Then my grandpa raped me, I didn’t tell. Nobody knows what happened, but of course being rich has its down sides like robbers. When I was twelve they were involved in a robbery in their house, two gunshots to the head. I was hiding under the table and I saw everything, my grandma was holding the guitar string bracelet when she died she had dropped so I climbed out quickly getting it then I went back. When they left I didn’t know what to do it was like the night my grandpa had raped me all over again so when I snapped out of it I was like a robot, I had called 911 with no emotion and if we hadn’t had cameras then they would have thought I had killed them myself. I was left with the state, foster home after foster home, school after school. I didn’t cry ever, I showed no emotion really. They had put me in a special home because they thought I was ‘unfit to be around the other kids, due to my lack of emotion.’ Then I ended up here after about twenty different towns and families. But this one’s different,” she paused with a smile.

“They want me, I met you guys. People are just all round nicer here and I feel like I belong for once, I feel like I’m finally living. My feelings for everything are coming back; I’m experiencing everything for the first time, having friends, going to parties, embracing myself for once. For once I feel normal and I like that.” She smiled yawning she threw off the towel shivering she walked to the bathroom changing into sweatpants and a sweater.

“That surprisingly helped a lot,” she laughed, “Just don’t tell anyone please.” She looked at me seriously, I nodded my head.

“You can tell me anything and it will always be between us.” I grinned making her come closer and hug me.

“Come on lets go eat, I’m starving.”

*****

***Lil’s P.O.V.***

*3 days later*

“Hey Lilly we have this party to go to and I was wondering if you’d be my date?” Zayn asked holding my hands in his, hope filled his eyes as he put himself out on a limb. I bit my lip smiling.

“Of course.” I laughed hugging him. “When is it?” I asked, His eyes widened.

“Err tonight..” he laughed nervously, “But don’t worry I already bought you a dress and our stylist will help you get ready !” he grinned, I laughed at him.

“You’ve already planned this huh Malik?” I said with a smirk, “What if I had said no?” I laughed, he blushed bowing his head he shrugged his shoulders unknowingly.

“Well when do we leave?”

“Now.”

“ZAYN!” I gasped following him outside, there on my driveway sat a black stretch limo. I looked at zayn sighing.

“You know you could have told me sooner.” I laughed.

“I couldn’t get up the courage!” he laughed nervously, I looked over at him scooting closer to him on the seat.

“Never be nervous to ask me something, there’s always a good chance I’ll say yes or tell you.” I said reaching for his hand, the next thing I know were leaning closer and closer.

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