Vents & Poems From A Narcoleptic High Schooler-Among Other Things

High school. The year where everything came back and the former, well known version of myself died...this is me now.
*Mixtures of poems, prose, possibly letters, & short stories*

0Likes
0Comments
721Views
AA

2. Poem #2: Anxiety

12/31/12

Inhaling deeply, 

My left hand holding the doorknob firmly, 

"I can do this," 

I tell myself, 

And I begin to open the door, 

To the outside world.

 

It takes just one step, 

To realize my horrible mistake. 

My body trembles, 

My hands sweat, 

And my heart beats wildly.

 

I begin to hyperventilate, 

Help! 

I can't breathe! 

My head throbs with pain, 

I can't do this!

 

With all my strength, 

I run back inside. 

Calming down, 

I realize I was such a fool.

 

I try again,

This time going by car, 

I am in school now, 

My favorite place to be. 

Yet, why do I feel funny?

 

I realize with horror, 

That the feeling is back. 

The sweaty palms, 

The rapid breathing, 

And heartbeat, 

The head throbbing, 

No! 

I shout in my head, 

Why here!? 

Why now!?

 

I sink to the floor, 

And lean against the wall, 

Shaking uncontrollably, 

I hope no one notices.

 

My prayers go unanswered, 

As everyone goes up to me. 

At least ten faces, 

Are talking all at once.

"Hey!" 

"Morning!" 

"You alright?" 

"Guess what?" 

I did the uncontrollable, 

I screamed.

 

As they stare in shock, 

I calmly take a breath. 

I apologize, 

And say  

"One at a time please."

 

That's actually a lie, 

I love you guys, 

But my body is saying you should go away, 

Yet I don't want that.

 

I feel like crying, 

I feel so pathetic, 

So afraid, 

So ashamed.

 

I want to talk, 

My throat is cut short, 

I want to be like you, 

Living life without a care, 

Yet I see the world as a depressing place, 

And I'm scared, 

Scared of what you'll think of me.

 

How badly I want to curl up in a ball and hide,  

And just transport home, 

To my room, 

But I can't hide forever.

 

I can't even ask anyone a simple question, 

I dislike stores, 

Restaurants, 

And going to houses I'm unfamiliar with.

 

It gets worse, 

Why are my parents ignoring it? 

They call it a phobia, 

They might think I'm too lazy to leave, 

I silently cry for help, 

Because I can't say it out loud. 

Someone help me, 

Please, 

Help me with this, 

Social Anxiety.

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...