Reality ruined my life

Cuts on her wrists,
Cuts on her thighs,
Eyes full of tears,
Smiles full of lies.
Life is tough. It ruined all of our lives in little ways. Same with this girl. But with her, she's suffering from the hardest and the most painful lives ever. She feels as if no one ever cared for her. As if she just wanted to burn in hell. And I believe we have all experienced this in some part of our lives. This movella is dedicated the people who think they have no more hope in life. Love can change our lives in so many ways. Humans are actually made with 4 arms, legs and heads. We just have to find our second half. Will she finally find her second half? Will an irish boy fix her reality?


4. The long lost girl

Dear Diary,

Why am I so different? Why can't I live in a normal way? Why do my parents have to be rich? I just want to have a normal and happy life where I have friends, my parents are proud of me and I have somebody to love. Why do I have to get abused and hurt? What did I do to live this kind of life? Why do people use me as a helper or a problem solver? They ask me for help and I help them. After all I've done they just go back to ignoring me and calling me names like nothing even happened. I hate my life! Do I really deserve this? I'm not just a doll they can play with. I have feelings too. They think because I smile everyday I don't get hurt. Why God? Why me? I'm bad luck. I'm different in a bad way.

I let my feelings out in the tiny notepad and let a tear escape my eye and hit the page. Why do people use me as a doll they can play with? I'm sick and tired of this! 

Walking to school, I tried to put on a smile but I couldn't. I just couldn't do it anymore. As usual, as I passed by each one of them would call me a name. Bitch! Whore! Dork! Fat Slut! This is the first time I didn't wear a smile. I walked to class sitting next to Rosie again. "Anna? What's wrong?" She pouted. Rosie wasn't wealthy and all those stuff but at least she was happy. I was jealous of her. I wanted her life. "It's nothing. Nothing" I replied blankly. "Well that's weird you usually have a smile on your face" I ignored her and tried to focus on class but I failed. The questions just kept on replaying in my head. I didn't pass by the lake this time. I was to weak to even walk. "Hey mum,dad." I greeted but they both had continuous staring at the computer screen. "I see your finally home from your business trip huh?" I said trying to make a conversation. They still didn't reply. "Okay then" I said making my way to my room. 

Wait! my dad said. "Annabelle Jane Evans!" my mum shouted. "Yes?" I asked "Why do you have a B in a test and not an A?!" she asked strictly. "Calm down mum" "Calm down? Calm down?" "Tell me how to be calm when my daughter is forgetting about her grades?" my mother asked. Everything in my life changed when I turned 15. And then they started to be really hard on me, be strict and abuse me whenever I got a grade lower than A."We are very disappointed in you Anna" "No mum it's not about my grades dad." I said in a shaky tone. "It's not about my grades or me" "It's about Emma" "Ever since she left our lives and gave us peace you' never even gave me a simple smile" "I'm sick and tired of this!" "How could you speak about your own sister like that?" "We were having the perfect life until she had to die and ruin this family right?!" "I've never done anything wrong, I've never failed to do what you asked and most importantly, I never left and ruined a life! I cried. She slapped me. "You don't understand do you?" "Ever since she left, you started abusing me and blame me for the things I didn't do" I said softly. "Unbelievable" she huffed and left with my dad. I wrapped myself in a blanket and burst into tears. I did nothing to be treated like this. I knew my sister was the long lost girl but it felt like it was me instead. If I knew I would have this kind of life then I would've died instead. I ran to the bathroom not caring if I slip on the wet slippery floor. I grabbed a razor and ran it into through my wrist. I cut my thighs and felt relief. It felt so good to escape from the pain. I was losing a lot of blood but that never made me care. From then and on, everything went pitch black.

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