Love Degree

September. The beginning of his third year. A lonely university student drifting through life is about to be enrolled in the most difficult course of all: the course of love.

[a cell phone novel]

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6. The thought that I'd never see her again

My heart contracted.

This, I imagined, is how black holes are formed.

The pressure was almost unbearable.

The pressure was pain.

Was I having a heart attack?

I clutched my chest and tried to breathe: in, out, in, out...

It wasn't a heart attack. It wasn't physical at all.

Except that everything is physical.

This girl, whom I didn't know and whom I had barely seen:

The thought that I'd never see her again:

It physically hurt!

I rolled onto my side and closed my eyes and felt the tears growing fat in my eyes and my voice becoming hoarse.

I'd never felt this.

I'd never felt anything like this.

I hated it. It was irrational. It was stupid. I hated both irrationality and stupidity and...

God damn!

It's just an after-effect of the accident, I told myself. "You're a lucky young man," the doctor had said.

But I didn't feel lucky.

But I knew it wasn't an after-effect.

I cried.    
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