Letters to Harry (on hold)

Harry and Autumn shared a love like no other. The laughs, smiles, and tears they shared together were like any other they had experienced with anyone else. All things must come to an end at some point. When Autumn's life is cut short by terminal cancer she finds a way to make Harry remember. She wants him to remember the love they shared and the memories they created throughout the years. This is the diary she wrote for Harry while she was in the hospital and he was on tour. The diary of a girl who loved a boy and the experiences they created together.

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5. Entry 4

Dear Harry,

You returned home a week later and appeared on my doorstep dressed casually in the usual skinny jeans and beanie ready to take me on our first date.

I would say that nervous is an understatement for what I felt.  Butterflies, nauseated, happy all in one, I was a wreck, but somehow when I saw you all the worry that filled my head disappeared.  You never told me where we were going to go on the first date, but I expected something unusual.  You told me to dress casual and that was the only hint I was given.  I knew we were going on a dinner date or to a movie because you thought those were too awkward.  Instead, you took me bowling.  I was shocked a little, but excited, of course.

The moment we pulled into the parking lot I saw the smile on your face grow and I knew you were just as excited as I was.  After we got out shoes and to our lanes it was time to start the game.  We both decided to not use bumpers, which was probably not the best decision for me.  I don’t remember exactly how many gutter balls I threw, but in was a lot.  You turned out to be better than I thought.  You only threw two gutter balls and beat me by 93 points.

You might have beaten me Harry, but I will never forget the moment you fell flat on your ass.  You were dancing your way up to the line with the ball in your hand while I sat on the bench laughing.  You turned to face me while trying to moon walk and when you stepped onto the lane, your feet slipped out from under you and the ball went rolling down the lane.  I was a little nervous at first, scared you were hurt, but when I saw your head pop up and your green eyes light up with amusement I was relieved and I laughed right along with you.  You stood up, surprisingly graceful, and bowed, which made me laugh even more.  It was in that moment knew that I would always be able to be myself around you.

After the game had ended we ordered slices of pizza and sodas.  We didn’t talk about much.  I asked about the remainder of your tour and how you enjoyed it.  You said you enjoyed it, but you were glad to be home.  You had only been home for a week, but said it felt good to be back.  You asked me about school, which I was almost done with.

The one thing we did talk about that night was music.  I found that you and I liked the same artist and bands.  Everyone always thought my taste of music was a little strange for my age, but not you.  You then mentioned Ed Sheeran.  You were surprised when I knew exactly who he was because he was so new, but I was a huge fan of his since the first day I found out who he was.  I expressed to you how fun it would be to see him in concert.  He wasn’t touring at the time, but you promised that when he was we could go see him together.  I then made you pinky promises.  I knew it sounded childish, but those are the only ones I believe.

By the end of the night we were both tired.  We talked about random things and laughed at nothing in particular.  You took me home and walked me up to the doorstep.  I was a little surprised and disappointed that you didn’t kiss me.  I thought that meant that I had just been put into the friendzone, but when you asked me on a second date, I knew that wasn’t the case.

I was so worried in the beginning of the night, but that all faded away because of you.  You made me feel comfortable while I was around you, and to this day you always make me feel like it’s going to be okay.  It will be okay Harry, I pinky promise.

Always remember to laugh, even at yourself.  I always enjoy remembering the times when you were yourself.  When you acted like the biggest dork on the planet just to entertain me.  Don’t ever stop laughing Harry, because I won’t.  I’ll always remember the funny times we shared together, forever and always in my heart Harry.  These memories are ours.

Love Always,

Autumn Rose Miller

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