School Survival

A story about an girl and her troubles throughout secondary school!

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2. Bad Days and Okay Days...

Looking back on year 7, the things that happened are so hard to see, no one would notice it. But I did. All the pain and hurt overwhelmed me as I began to find it hopeless to feel happy again.  But I ignored the pain for as long during the day as I could and cried at night, nearly every night. The pain was overpowering. Too much, too fast. But the more I reached out to my friends the more I fell down. I am still not learning to just suffer in silence. I don't know what is worse, that I will never learn to suffer in silence, or I will. I had okay days where I only had one thing happen and bad days where it was too much. For instance, one day was particularly bad. I don't know exactly when it was but sometime in the last few terms of year 7, on a Saturday, Charlotte, (Lotta) spoke to me in Art (our last lesson on a saturday school , we only have 3 and they always are, science 1st language and some kind of tech ,e.g Art Design Tech Computer Tech or food tech), Lotta said "Are you going to town today with the others after school?" I was at first confused. Lotta wasn't a really close friend, she was great but not like Edelyn(Edla) or Jade(Jai) Idabelle (Idal) Cadence) . I asked who was going to town. expecting it to be a bunch of people I barely knew. I was wrong. "Umm...Becca(B, Me, Caddy, Jai, Kahlee and  Idabellle and Edla, yeah that is it!" My heart sank. I was being left by my best friends. I had even asked Jai if we could go into town this Saturday , on Thursday and she said no, so I said what about Friday and she said no again. I didn't think much of it then/ "What time are you meeting?" I asked half-heartedly. 

"2:45pm, we have to have lunch and get ready " She replied unknowingly. "So are you coming?"

"Yeah maybe, I'll ask my mum" I said quietly. 

For the rest of the lesson (about 10 minutes) I sat finishing my crappy piece of a work, thinking hard. I caught the bus home and texted my mum and asked. 

Can I go to town tonight with my friends at 2:45?xx

Her reply was

Yes Darling x xx

I was happy she said yes but still why I hadn't been invited still upset me. I was deliberately left out.On the bus, I called Jai, she didn't answer so I sent her a text saying where to meet today. She didn't reply I knew that Jai didn't often reply. I checked the time 12:31 the blinking figures on my phone said. She should be on the train now or if she isn't going staright home or missed the train then...A buzz from my phone shook me from working it out. Unknown number. I answered anyway , curious to see who would be calling me, I never get calls. 

*Hello?* I questioned 

*Hi, I was just wondering who invited YOU* said a familiar voice, I couldn't tell who it was through the phone.

*Who is this?* 

*Cadence* She replied curtly. 

*Who invited you* She spoke with more annoyance and urgence.

*Umm....Lotta did..in art..* I stumbled along my words. 

*Ok Bye* she spoke with irritation.

*Oh but wait...

and the line went dead. I was stunned. Why had she been so mean? What did I do to her? What have I done that's so bad, that I deserved to be treated like that?Anyway I hadn't told Caddy that I was going to town.I only told.. Jai. Jai either must be with her and gave her my number to call me because she didn't have the guts; or she  texted her my number when she asked her if she invited me or something. I was so swept out of balance by the phone call that I nearly fell off the bus. How could such a tiny thing hurt me so much.? When I got in, I walked sluggishly upstairs to my room. I slumped on the bed , mind exhausted. I reached for  my phone and decided to try again to find out where we were meeting. But before I did that, I crawled under my covers and collapsed from the pain that I was feeling.

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