Near to you

My entry for the "Inspired by a song" competition. I picked "near to you" by Fine Frenzy

I created a "story" that is more poetic written about how it is to have someone near you and what it's like to be near someone through both good and bad and just how much it can touch a person's life to pick the right people to be around.

This is inspired my personal events and experiences.

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1. Near to You through the shadows

My dysfunctional love was my first real love, an experience I couldn’t forget. How was I supposed to know how it would all go? How was I supposed to know that every day in his presence would leave me in a battle I could only lose, leave me in a stage of endless pain and fear. I took a step away from him and he would take two toward me. I honestly never thought I could feel so much pain and destruction in my heart. I was bound by my first blinding love unable to see that every day passing by was killing me. He made me hate myself more than I could ever hate him for what he had done to me, he left me like an open wound and no amount of drug and alcohol could close it up. He left me in trembling pain of which I am he tortured my soul until it was torn apart and I forgot how I used to be, I forgot how it felt like to smile and cry. I didn’t see what I could have become, I stopped to care for myself and I became that soulless person roaming an empty shell of myself. I can’t remember my time before him and I can’t remember how to smile anymore. I lost sight of the light I crumbled to what I thought was an uncanny man but all he ever was, was uncaringly cruel. He wouldn’t leave or let go, he was happily holding on to the power I had lost to empower himself. His ways were pleasurable to himself, torture to me.

The longer I stayed near him the more hurt I grew.
I grew into adulthood thinking only he could be right and every word he spoke was truth itself, I grew up in a world that belonged to this man, he robbed me my free will and freedom, stripped me from any love I could ever have felt.

The longer I stayed near him meant the more bruises to hide.
I could count the bruises for every time I spoke out of turn, for every time I cried, for every time I smiled, for every time I tried to run, for every time I tried to escape the way I had become. I buried myself in a world that wasn’t even mine, I hid myself away to something I couldn’t become anymore I couldn’t cry unless I wanted another scar I had nothing but self loathe even in the world of my own, my world was like a dying animal gasping for breath in an intoxicated environment, dying slowly with every breath it takes yet clinging on to life but counting the last minutes alive. How could I think for myself, how could I feel myself when my intoxicating environment was the only environment I had? The only place I could live and be for so many years

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