The One That Got Away

A self-written story about my life so far. It's not something you have to read, I just needed to get it out there. Enjoy if you do read.

It was then. That I reaized. It was time... To let go.

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2. Truth Hurts

 

They say don't give up on someone you Love. 

They say if you Love someone (or something), let it go.

 

This is where the road ends for me. 

I have to admit either one of them probably cares nothing about me. Probably could care less

if I died tomorrow. 

I Love them both. They're both close to me. Emotionally and distance-wise. 

I don't want to be a bother. I just wanna be happy. With the shitty life I have, I've never really felt whatever happy feels like.

But when I'm around him, everything just goes blank. Quiet. 

I've never felt this kind of connection. 

This may sound sappy, but it's true and it's really the best way I can explain it. 

I look at him and my day is instantly amazing. 

I look at him and see everything. 

Who I was.

Who I am.

Who I want to be.

It's so weird because, I've only known him for less than a year. 

 

He sat next to me when we saw a movie... In front of all our drumline friends. If you don't already know, when you like/date someone in drumline, be prepared because your friends are gonna throw everything at you. 

He asked me to DJ with him. Best. Day. Ever. When I got that text, I screamed. I don't scream even when I play Slender, Amnesia, or the Impossible Game! (Ok, sometimes.) But you get what I'm saying (I hope). I've wanted to DJ since I became interested in music because that was one of the first things I looked into, but decided to go the "rockstar route" instead. If this goes anywhere, I might change that. ^-^ 

Then Shelby told me. I'd facetimed her a couple nights after the text and as I was telling her all that (^), she told me. As cold-hearted as it is, she did. She'd went to a different drumline party. I didn't go because that was the night of my brother's wedding. Anyway, they were playing truth or dare. They called Mave and he played over phone with them because obviously he didn't/couldn't go either. He chose truth and they were trying to think of something to ask him. Then they thought, "Hey, he hangs around Sydney a lot, we should ask if he'd ever date her!". I knew what was coming. They asked him the question and he said no. I asked Shelby if it was like an immediate no or a slow, paused, normal no. Like she'd know. God, why do I have to be so stupid. She didn't remember (like I expected). I died inside. I truly, honestly did. It hurt. It hurt a lot. 

I guess they were right. If you love something, you gotta let it go. 

And the truth really does hurt. Whether you like it or not. 

 

I'd do anything for him. I honestly don't think he knows about any of this, because I've never told him. Which is the burning question. Tell or don't tell..? 

It's one of those situations.
Damned if I do, damned if I don't.

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