The Way We Are

My name is Campbelle Brooks, also known as every female Directioner’s worst nightmare.

Formerly known as Liam Payne’s best friend; Louis Tomlinson’s mortal enemy; Niall Horan’s erotic fixation; Harry Styles’ secret fuck buddy, and Zayn Malik’s girlfriend, now you know the reasons why everyone wants to murder me in my sleep.

It’s been a year since I got banished off the whole band’s life. Shamed and heart broken, I promised myself that I will forget everything that’s got to do with One Direction or that I even met them.

Only, life truly is a bitch. After getting an unplanned visit from an old forgotten friend, it was inevitable –again, here comes trouble.

"Somewhere in between falling in love with our midnight conversations that were exhaled through cigarette breaths and interrupted by coffee stains, and reading the love notes you had written on my flesh, I realized, I am in love with the presence of your words and the feel of your existence.

But am I in love with you?

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22. Twenty One

THE WAY WE ARE Twenty One “One day you’ll come into my world and say it all You say we’ll be together even when you’re lost. One day you’ll say these words I’ve thought but never said You say we’re better off together in our bed.” - Liam was my priority. Without any second thoughts, I knew he’d be the first one I’d have to see. Not Harry. Not Zayn. It’s Liam. My best friend needed me. I cannot just let go of the fact that he’s been crying and I knew I was the one to blame. We were terribly horrible to each other the last time we tried to talk. He was blaming me and I just turned my back away from him –again. I didn’t want to hurt him and I knew he didn’t mean to blame me either, but his words hurt. We let the anger building inside us at that very moment just rip us apart. I thought he was pushing me away once again. The very second he blamed every problem they had to face entirely at me, I knew that I just didn’t want to be near him anymore. I thought I was done with him. But at the end of the day, he’s still my best friend. Liam’s gone through hell and back just for me. We’re the best of friends till the end –no matter what. I need to make him remember it was how we’re supposed to be. I left Harry still sleeping with Louis, just placed a note that says I needed to go to Liam’s. If I don’t mention where I’ll be going, Harry was sure to panic. I could not forget how frightening it was when I looked straight into Harry’s eyes. His always loving stare wasn’t there. They were demeaning, almost frightening just to look at. It was like he was making me sure his possessiveness showed and it would weak me because he definitely knows I’m having second thoughts of staying with him. It sure is going to be a long day. Every step I took on the way to Liam’s apartment was excruciatingly painful in my heart. I wanted to be there as fast as I could, but my feet were dragging me slower than I should be. How am I going to comfort my best friend when I perfectly knew the fact that he’s aching because of me. Liam’s heartbreaking cries still rang through my ears as I took a step further inside his building. How am I going to tell him that we couldn’t be more than best friends? How can I tell Liam that we’re not meant to be together as lovers because he’ll always be my best friend? I couldn’t love him the way he loves me. I love us just the way we are. How am I going to make things right between us when not one of us will be saved from breaking, and I’m pretty sure it’s going to be Liam? Our life is way harder than I imagined it would be. Never did I imagine we would come to this point in our life with so much complexity in every emotion we give to each other. As I reached his front door step of Liam’s home, I took a really deep breath before knocking twice. No answer. I tried knocking harder against the wooden door. Knock. Knock. Knock. I even called out Liam’s name twice. Still, I got no answer back. I held on the doorknob, only to find out that his front door was open. Panic started in me. Liam wouldn’t be the kind of person who’ll leave his front door carelessly open for others to come inside without being invited. My anxiety grew as I moved into his receiving area and found small shatters of crystals which were from a broken bottle of liquor. In the table next to his couch were at least ten more bottles, all open and already consumed. I then realized Liam wasn’t sober when he called me earlier, which could only mean one thing. A drunken mind speaks a sober truth. I found Liam lying on his bed. He was sleeping heavily, half naked, with his comforters haphazardly placed round his torso. What broke my heart was our picture that he’s been holding in his hand as he slept. It was our childhood picture. That photo of us back before he became famous, before we made mistakes, before Zayn and Harry, before all the wrongs things that happened to our friendship. It was that time that our smiles were genuine, when it was only me and Liam against the world around us. That childhood picture, we could have stayed that way if we never messed each other up. How do I wish to bring us back to that time? What will it cost me to bring us back to how we were before? I sat next to him at the edge of his bed and caressed his cheeks. There were traces of dampness in his pillow, just clear enough to tell me that Liam kept crying until he went to sleep. In times like this, I wanted to kiss his pain away, like how he did back home –that night when he found me restless and completely vulnerable. Only, if I let my lips touch Liam’s, I’ll be creating a mistake once again. His face moved with the way my hand felt his skin. Slowly, his bloodshot tired eyes fluttered open and he looked at my way. Our eyes met and there was no way the tears from my eyes could any way be on hold anymore. Warm droplets of tears streaked down my face and hit my arm. “Is this a dream?” Liam slurred, still obviously drunk in state. “Am I still dreaming?” These boys have tremendously changed me in every way. I was always the girl who’d pull the brave face so people around me don’t ask. But now, even the slightest hurt in my Liam’s eyes sent me to bawling right before him. “It’s really me, Liam.” I answered in between sobs. “You called to see me, remember?” I told him. Yet it was clear in his facial expression that he didn’t believe me. “No. You must be a dream.” He insisted. “Campbelle wouldn’t be here right now.” Liam pushed himself up to sitting and quickly held on to my wrist but kept it glued on to his face. There was a jolt of pain with the way he gripped on me but I just bit on my lips instead on wincing. “If this is reality, Campbelle wouldn’t choose me,” he said firmly. Even before I could argue, he continued, “Campbelle would not choose poor Liam over Harry, especially not from Zayn.” What happened to him? Why was he like this all of a sudden? This couldn’t be just caused by the alcohol in his system –this is a deeper cut. “Liam…” I said breathlessly. “But your hands, they’re warm against my skin. It’s so surreal and very comforting –just like Campbelle’s.” he said as he let me continue to caress his flushed cheeks. “I have always loved the way she touches me. Like when she kisses me, I couldn’t resist from pulling her closer and kiss her with everything I’ve got. And when she hugs me, I don’t want to let go -ever. She’s my Campbelle. She’s the one that I want.” He said to me as he tried to pull me closer to him but I pulled back. Liam mumbled “I almost asked her –I almost did, but I backed down. I was scared to hear the truth finally come from her mouth.” That’s when he gave up and just lay himself down on his bed again. I’ve resisted him in every way. He got tired of forcing himself when without a doubt I didn’t want to fall for him. “It took me years to realize I’m in love with my best friend. Campbelle Laine Brooks was my first love. Guess love really moves in mysterious ways. I can still remember the first day I saw her with Aileen moving next to our house. We were only six but I already noticed she wasn’t like the other six year old girls in the neighborhood. The very first time I met her, I saw something different with her. The way her big, bright grey eyes curiously looked at my chubby six year old self and asked why I’m staring at her. The way she waved her hands at me and said she can lift her and Aileen’s luggage all by herself –which she massively failed to. The way she hesitated on telling me her name is Campbelle but then she managed. The first time I saw how her pink lips smirked, I knew I wanted to be her friend. When it became clear to the both of us that we were the best of friends, every day I whisper a thank you that I met a Campbelle Brooks.” My heart swelled because I knew he meant everything he said. Liam really meant his words. “I remember them all. Every single moment we were together. The first kiss, the first touch, our first time and those that followed –everything’s in my head with perfect clarity.” He admitted to both of us. “Every single time I close my eyes, I feel like I’m going through memory lane and there’s a part of me that wanted to stay there because it was just us. Nobody complicated our life because it was just me and my Campbelle.” Liam paused for a moment, giving me time to absorb this information. “But my Campbelle…she’s a huge mess. I don’t understand why she keeps herself that way, even until now. Some days she acts like she doesn’t care half of the world knows what she’s doing because she’s with us. Then there were days when she will recluse herself, even to us -won’t even get her to smile because she’s heard or read some fans’ comment about her. We’d always remind her that she’s beautiful, amazing in every way and is one in a million but she’ll laugh it off even though we’re very serious.” I climbed on the bed next to him and pulled the sheets to cover us. Liam's hand found mine underneath the sheets, his fingers threading through mine. My thumb traced his knuckles, memorizing every curve and every dip. I watched Liam as tears cascaded from his eyes, to the bridge of his nose and drops on the pillow. I just have to brush them off his beautiful crying face because I can’t handle the hurt. “When things aren’t alright, I’d always make it my job to make her feel better even if I know the smile she’ll return me was just superficial. Just to show me she’s okay. At least I could still make her smile. At least I’m assured I still knew who she is. After everything she went through, at least I know she still feels.” I dragged his hand to my lips, kissed it, and held it close to my chest. Liam held my gaze, seemingly unperturbed by the late morning sun. “And there came love, the very thing that changed all of us. Growing up together, I watched Campbelle blossom into a young woman who’s one smile could give me sorts of silly things in my stomach. I watched boys turn their heads when she walks their way but I also watched Campbelle turn every single one of them down.” He talked like he didn’t think the girl lying next to him wasn’t a dream anymore. I could feel his genuine pain in every word he said. “My best friend was indescribable. The girl I knew wasn’t like any other one. She wasn’t the kind of girl who likes Disney fairytales and happily ever after’s. She would rather play music with me than watch romantic movies with her girlfriends. She would rather wrestle and play muddy football in a rainy day than re-create her own version of The Notebook kiss with me. She never believed in love and falling in love. She never believed in soul mates and matches made in heaven. She doubted love all her life…” Liam paused for a while. “That was until Zayn came to her world.” He finally said it. “Campbelle loved him so much -she’s forgotten that love is a barrier. Love makes people do crazy things. Makes us lose sight of ourselves. Makes us forget what it is we really want. It’s the wall that prevented her from living the life she deserves. She pushed Zayn because of love. She made mistakes with Harry because of love. She’s slipping away from me because of love –because I finally had the guts to tell her the words I thought I’ll never say to my own best friend. All these time, Campbelle still doesn’t understand what love really is. Losing control over something as powerful as love completely broke my best friend and I’m not even sure if could mend her back again.” The truth that Liam was willing to sacrifice so much for me caused my chest to tighten painfully, and I lost my breath for a moment or two. All of a sudden, my heart was in my throat. My mouth was dry and my hands clutched the side of the bed with fervour. “It’s impossible to forget these feelings I harbor for you. It’s fucking impossible to unlove you, Campbelle. It’ll take death to forget.” Whether he still thinks I’m a dream or real, it ripped my heart in two and left me struggling to breathe. “Liam, don’t say that.” “I can’t hate you, even if you’ve broken every promise you’ve told me.” “When you left me back in Wolverhampton and asked for Harry instead, I told myself, this is the perfect reason to hate her. She’s left you for your other best friend. Isn’t that enough reason to hate her? Why would you still want her?” I bit my trembling lip as another tear fell from my eyes. “Then I realized that’s just dumbest shit I ever thought of. How could I possibly do that? Why would I want to fucking hate the only girl I want to see myself grow old with? Why would I want to hate Campbelle Brooks when she’s the whole world to me? She’s the girl I sing my songs for.” “Liam, I’ll stay with you no matter what, you know that. You always know that.” I said softly. “You’ve already broken that promise before, Campbelle.” This is why I kept fucking up. I can’t keep my promises. “But loving you more than my best friend-” “No! No…I don’t want to hear you say it,” he cried at me. “I won’t be able to bear it if you say it now.” I sniffled. He brushed my hair out of my face and behind my ears. Watched his chest rise and fall with each of his shaky breaths. “Why won’t you just promise me again that you’ll never leave and this time, really mean it?” “I’m trying, Liam. It’s not easy.” His face crumpled as he shook his head, “Loving you was never easy, Camp. It was a risk that I’ve taken, I’ve hoped for and I’m still praying you’ll feel the same way too so we don’t fall apart.” When I didn’t say anything back, Liam buried his face on the pillow and right there, he screamed. It was the only way to cope with such miserable situations. I thought he was over, yet the throbbing muscle in my chest hasn’t settled at all, and it grew more frantic as I heard Liam cry my name out again. “Campbelle,” Liam called. “Can’t you hear from where you rest that I maybe just crazy?” Liam wasn’t on the right state to hear what my mind truly wants to confess to him, and I let it be. But my decision was final. I can’t ruin our life together by agreeing with him to take our relationship more than what it’s supposed to be. I stayed with Liam, had his head rest on my chest and just watched him sleep him drunkenness off. He looked hardly peaceful even with me there. Clearly, the pain is still there. The hours had passed that I wasn’t aware I fell asleep too and when I woke up, it was already 1:45 in the afternoon, completely forgetting that I agreed to go out for lunch with Harry. Another promise broken, I guess. I couldn’t wake Liam in his slumber, so I left him sleeping and to wake up that everything we’ve talked about was just really a dream for him. Before I left, I planted a soft kiss on his forehead and whispered in his ears, “Never forget that I love you, Liam.” ----------(The Way We Are)--------- “The script was written and I could not change a thing. I want to rip it all to shreds and start again One day I’ll come into your world and get it right I’ll say we’re better off together here tonight.” - As I hailed on a taxi, I grabbed on my phone and saw missed calls and messages that were all from Harry. -Meet me at Mosby’s Restaurant, near Addison’s. I got us a table there so we could talk. -Call me when you’re on your way. -Where are you? -Have you forgotten that you agreed that you’ll have lunch with me? -Where are you, Campbelle? -Why won’t you answer my calls?! I’m getting worried! -Cancelled our lunch reservations. I’m going home. -Whenever you get done with whatever you’re doing, just go straight home. I’ll be there, waiting. It seemed to me that fate wasn’t done with me yet. I got a new message as soon as I reached Harry’s building. This time, it was from Zayn. It said: Campbelle It was just my name –nothing more, nothing less. But the impact of him calling my name, even if it was just in a text, made an uncomfortable stir inside my stomach. Whether they were the dinosaurs all coming back to be or rather anxiety, I can’t tell. A part of me didn’t want to see him, but a greater part of me –that greater part that screamed Zayn’s name over and over again- wanted to, and to make things harder, I almost sent him a reply in which I put ‘I miss you’ and random letters that didn’t make sense. I’m still not sure how am I going to meet with him later. Harry was mostly the reason in the back of my mind. The flat was quiet when I got back. I expected to see Harry waiting for me in the living room, but he wasn’t there. Louis must have left too, either willingly or Harry made him do so. The silence wasn’t new in the house, especially since these past few days that Harry and I acted differently together, but there was something weird in its vibe. “I’m back.” I said out loud. Clearly, I didn’t get anybody’s attention because I didn’t hear anything stir from anywhere. I walked in straight to Harry’s room and I was surprised by the mess littering literally everywhere in his floor. Bed unmade, things were thrown in every corner and the vanity mirror’s been broken. Its shatters scattered in the cream carpeted floor, and there were drops of fresh scarlet blood on a trail going to the bathroom. “Oh my god,” I dashed as fast as I could to the bathroom and found Harry down on his knees. His bloody knuckles held a piece of the broken glass that was cutting halfway in his wrist. “What the hell are you doing?!” I screamed at Harry as I snatched the glass from his shaking hands. He didn’t say anything. He just looked at me –lifeless- which scared every inch of me. Harry remained motionless as I knelt down in front of him. His face was streaming of sweat and there were tears down from his emerald eyes. “Why do you have to do this to yourself?! Why would you hurt yourself?! What the fuck are you thinking?! You could have killed yourself!” What if I was a second late and he cut too deep on his wrist? What if he just let it bleed profusely? What if something horrible went wrong by him deciding to harm himself? We could have lost Harry, and I’d blame it entirely to myself for what might have happened if I came home a second late. “Damn it, Harry!” I shouted angrily at him as I pulled him and enveloped him inside my arms. What’s happening to our life? Have I really caused this so much pain to my boys? “I don’t want you to leave me, Campbelle. I don’t want you to go.” Harry cried as he held on me tighter, still tucked underneath my crushed state. “You promised me, don’t you remember? You promised you won’t leave me again. Why do I feel like you’re slipping away from me? Why do I feel like you’ve lost all your reasons to stay with me? Don’t you want to stay with me anymore?” “Is that the reason why you have to do this? Is that really your reason from hurting yourself –just so I’ll have a reason to stay with you?” “I’ve done more than just hurt myself so I can have you, Campbelle.” he quietly confessed. The bright light of the room showed me the truth of everything he’s done just so to make me stay. He lied to me. He never stopped cutting when he was fourteen. I couldn’t count them, but I knew there were plenty. Both of his wrists were full of scars –some were already scabbed but most were fresh. These were the scars that hide his pain –those that I’ve brought to him. “Can’t you see from where you sit that I have scars to kiss?” I heard Harry whisper against my chest. I was the reason behind those scars. He wasn’t just talking about wounds in his skin. Just like Liam’s, all I did him were deeper cuts and Harry was making me feel guilty by not keeping my promise. “I love you, Campbelle.” Harry said. “How do I make you understand that? I don’t want you away from me.” I don’t understand. All I did was hurt them. Why would they still want me with them? Does love really work that horrible way? Did I really caused them this much trouble just because of love? Liam was right. Up until now, I still don’t understand how damaging love could become. I slowly inched myself away from Harry. The realization of what I’ve done to him made me feel like dying inside. He made me feel like I’m the most horrible person in this world with sight of his scars, with every single feeling of pain he’s suffered because he loved me. “Why can’t I keep you just the way we are?” Harry asked. The courage I banked in my chest that was really meant for Liam was all vented out on Harry to make him hear the truth. “Because, Harry… that’s what makes us wrong.” I admitted. He looked stunned, horrified by what I told him, but it was the truth. I saw that this hurt Harry more than it hurt me. I assisted Harry out of the bathroom and cleaned the wounds in his hand. It took some time before it completely stopped bleeding and I felt every obligation to nurse Harry. I had Harry sat on the edge of his unmade bed while I put some clean bandage on his knuckles. None of us said anything. The only sound that would come out of our trembling lips would be the sobs every now and then but there was no single word ever uttered to break the silence between us. I tried to not look at him in his eyes but I could feel his stare burrowing in me. They never left even a second. I never managed to tie the gauze I put on Harry’s wound because he took his hand away and placed both of them on my shoulders. He held on both sides of my blades with a strong force as he leaned his face down on me until the tip of our noses touched. He whispered to my lips, “Save me from this pain.” My eyes widen by understanding what he meant by saving. Slowly, I shook my head at him. “I-I can’t-” “You promised.” Harry demanded. This is entirely my fault. I made him this. I brought him this. I get it now -on why I kept messing up, why I kept fucking mine and everyone’s life, why can’t I start building us back to the way we were before, why I can’t make anything right. I broke every promise I’ve made to them. My shoulders dropped as his words echoed in my ears. I promised. Tears fell down my eyes and it was Harry’s signal that I’ve let my defenses down before he started unbuttoning my clothes and placed heated kisses on my neck. ----------(The Way We Are)---------- “I want you here with me Like how I pictured it So I don’t have to keep imagining.” - I felt dirty. I felt my whole body and soul was violated. I was ashamed of myself for what I let Harry do to me. I let him take advantage of me. He didn't ask permission to explore neither my body nor my mouth, but that was what he did –what I promised him. I didn’t let him see me rip apart as Harry forced himself inside me once, twice, too many times. I didn’t cry out. I never let the tears resurface in my eyes as Harry broke what was even left of me. Nothing hurt anymore –not when he stretched me, filled me and made me his. I couldn’t hurt. I was already ruined inside and out. Harry slept next to me out of exhaustion from all that we’ve done in his bed. The soon as I know he was in a deep rest, I pulled the dirty sheets, wrapped it around my tired, naked body and left the room. I took my phone from my bag that I dropped outside the bedroom and dialed the only person I know could ease the pain in my chest. “Hello, honey! I’m so glad you called. How are you doing?” As soon as I heard my Mum’s chirpy voice on the other end, I collapsed on the floor on the living room. “Mum…” I cried on the phone. My mother started panicking, I just knew it. She’s never heard me break this way over the phone. I’ve never cried to her over the phone. But I needed to vent out everything that was building up in my chest immediately. “Honey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” she asked instantly. “Am I really a horrible person?” “Campbelle…what are you talking about? Tell me, what’s the problem?” “Do I deserve this? Is this my punishment?” “Honey, I don’t understand you. Campbelle, what happened?” “Love happened.” I cried on the phone. “I’ve hurt way too many people because of love, Mum. I brought so much pain to everyone I loved. I don’t deserve to love anyone.” “Oh my Campbelle…” Nobody could ever mend me now. Nobody could ever save me. “I’m sorry, Mum. I’m sorry if I’ve become like this.” “Honey, you’ve got nothing to say sorry for. It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. You couldn’t blame a person for loving someone. Love is a complex emotion and nobody in this world could ever understand what love could really bring a person.” Mum explained. “Please don’t cry.” “What do I have to do, Mum? I don’t want to hurt Liam, or Harry, or Zayn…even myself.” “Do what’s right. It’s the only way, Campbelle. The pain isn’t permanent. You’ll get through eventually.” While tears fell from my eyes and rolled quietly down my cheeks, I picked up a throw pillow on the couch and sat it on my lap. I stared at it as if it was foreign to me. I took deep breaths. Then I smothered it over my face. I screamed. ----------(The Way We Are)---------- “Come on, jump out at me Come on, bring everything Is it too much to ask for something great?” - The talk I had with my Mum straightened my mind. The afternoon soon became a silent night around the apartment. Harry and I didn’t talk at all, and even if I would catch his eyes looking at me, I would quickly turn away and mind something else. I have nothing to say to him. I don’t even want to see him anymore. But then I kept hearing Mum’s words over and over again, and everything contradicted with everything I’ve ever done since I came back. How can I just understand it now? Do what’s right. And by right it means I need to start keeping my promises unbroken. Staying with Harry, it wasn’t what’s right for me, but it was for him. If it’s the only means so I could keep my promise to Harry, then so be it. Anyway, I couldn’t die anymore. Love already killed everything I saved myself, and I despised the fucking emotion even more now. I let my mind be preoccupied by cleaning the mess Harry’s done around the house. I tried my best to ignore every advances Harry would do to interact and luckily, I’ve succeeded until dinner time –which he ate all by himself. I took the comfort of the big couch in the living room while Harry shut himself in his room right after dinner. I couldn’t be wrong when I knew I heard him call my name. It was like he was trying to convince me to come to bed with him, but didn’t give a fuck at all. I was already done with us. I heard the clock chimed, telling me that the time was already twelve in the midnight. That’s also when I heard my phone ring for a new message. I’m outside Harry’s building. I know you’re there. I’m not leaving until you come down and talk to me. -Zayn I didn’t think twice anymore. I even made it sure that I slammed the door loudly so Harry would hear I left. It was Zayn’s time. And I’ve got no more defenses left in me. I found him waiting in the back of the building, leaning against the pole of the only post that gave light to the surroundings. There were discarded butts of cigarette lying on the floor beneath him while he puffed on a stick to make him warm. Zayn didn’t look my way, but it was like he already knew I was there. “Why do you keep messing with my head?” he shot me immediately, which earned him nothing from me. “Why do you keep doing this to me?” he asked me out again. “You’re not supposed to be here right now, Zayn.” I answered. Our eyes met for a second. He asked me, “Why did come back?” “The reason was not because of you.” I was brutally honest at this point but I didn’t care if I angered him. I can’t feel. I cannot let my emotions get to me, not when Zayn and I are here alone. I needed to be numb so I could do the right thing. I’ve never seen Zayn so distraught before. So angry, yet so weak. He shook his head, unable to believe me. “Are you really that insensitive, Campbelle? Do you really not understand anything?” he demanded harshly at me. Frowning, I took a step towards him. “What is it to understand?” “Damn it, Camp! Why do you think I told you about the words on the cigarette?! Why do you think I’ve got this eagerness in me to see you again?!” he asked with much exasperation. “They’re not supposed to mean anything, Zayn. You’re just confused because I’m back.” I wasn’t expecting to see them, but right there, with the dim light from the post, I saw tears pooled Zayn’s eyes. “Fuck, Campbelle! I can’t forget you! I have not moved on!” As the tears dripped down my cheeks, I was unable to argue anymore. “Can’t you feel from where you sleep that it’s always been you that I miss?” I want to tell Zayn I missed him too. I want to tell Zayn I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to him. I want to tell Zayn I’m still in love with him. But it’s time to do the right thing. “Can I ask you something?” He wiped the tears away from his eyes and looked at me. “When you proposed to Perrie, did you ever think of what happened back when you proposed to me and I said no? Have I ever crossed your mind when you knelt down on your knees and asked her to marry you?” I asked him. It took him a while to answer me back. “No…” I paused, mulling over his answer as I stared at my knees. Finally, I locked eyes with him again. “Do you still keep our painting? That one we’ve made together? ‘Home is wherever I’m with you’?” For a second I hoped he still did, but I was let down when I saw Zayn shook his head as he managed to confess, “I was a mess when you left and I needed a way to deal with everything I’m feeling that time. I needed to forget the pain. I thought not seeing that picture anymore would help but it was the worse decision I’ve ever done. Now I can’t even do it by myself, not without you. It lost meaning. I needed you. I needed you to come back home, Campbelle.” That’s when I knew, I’ve really got nothing left to save on us. “Go back to Perrie.” I said straight to him. A wave of panic crossed his features. “What, Campbelle-,” “Zayn, just leave me now.” I repeated, louder than before. “What are you going to do, Campbelle, huh?” “I’m doing what’s right.” I told Zayn. “Never break a promise again.” “What promise?!” “Go home, Zayn. You’ve got a girl -your fiancée- waiting for you back at home.” “You don’t fucking understand anything, do you Campbelle?! I’ve lost my home when I lost you! You’re home! You’re my home! You’re where I belong!” “Don’t make this harder for both of us. Don’t break a promise you’ve told the whole world about. Don’t break the promise you’ve made to Perrie.” “Campbelle that was a mistake-” “But still is a promise.” “You’re all I want So much, it’s hurting. You’re all I want So much, it’s hurting.” “Then, lie to me. Tell me a lie that will make me want to leave.” Do the right thing, Campbelle. Think of not hurting anybody else. Do the right thing. The fact that Harry had broken me earlier just made it easier for me to be merciless. Tonight feels like the same night he proposed to me. The same heartbreak I’ve brought Zayn that very night occupied my chest. Tonight, it was inevitably going be the same night. “I love you.” I lied. “No…” “I still love you.” I continued, mustered with much stronger voice this time. “That’s- no-,” “And I will always love you with all that’s left of me, Zayn Malik.” And with that, I pivoted my heel and began walking away from him. “You know that’s not a lie.” He shouted. “Campbelle, you know that’s not a lie!” With my back turned to him, I said, “It has to be –for now.” Sinking to the ground and sobbing seemed like the next step to me. Still, I couldn't cause a scene so I put on a brave face and went back like nothing happened. Harry was waiting for me in the living room. “Campbelle, I’m-” “Don’t worry. I’m keeping my promise,” I interrupted. “But from now on, I’m saving what’s left to be saved in the right way.” I said as I shut the door of the art room. After everything that happened today, it’s the only place I know where I’m safe. With all the emotions that were still running in my head, I suddenly found the inclination to paint something. The painting. Our painting together. I’m not going to be like Zayn. I don’t need him to picture it in my mind, because it never left mine. With my shaking hands and tears streaming down my face, I began recreating our picture all by myself and see if ‘Home’ will ever mean the same. End Notes: I’m so sorry for it’s taken me a while to update. Work has been consuming most of my time and I can’t sneak writing in the office anymore. I can’t promise fast updates but I’ll do the best that I can to finish this story as soon as possible. If you don’t follow me on Twitter or Tumblr, I made a manip and posted it for Zayn’s Birthday. I did say it was some sort of spoiler, but then I do this, like, what the fuckity fuck are you trying to play at them Andie?! Sarreh… ‘Something Great’ is hands down my ultimate soundtrack for The Way We Are. ‘Through The Dark’ and ‘Half A Heart’ came close but ‘Something Great’ won me and Campbelle in the end. The first time I heard it, I told myself “Damn, if Campbelle Brooks was a real person and she’s really a part of the boys’ life as of the moment, this song is legit written for her and the entire fandom won’t even doubt it. #TakeThatGirlToAnotherWorld” and I bet she’d take over my Twitter and rant ‘DON’T CALL LIAM STUPID! LEAVE MY POOR BOY ALONE!’ because of all the drama that’s happening right now and finally she’ll tweet Barbara Palvin and say ‘Leave Niall because Andie loves him so much. She’ll make him happy –and straight again’, looool, jk, okay, enough of this nonsense. I bet most of you are like, “MY GOD CAMPBELLE WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!”, “ANDIE!!! YOU HEARTLESS FUCKER WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO CAMPBELLE, LIAM, HARRY AND ZAYN?!!!” and/or “IM’MA BITCHSLAP THIS AUTHOR FOR WHAT SHE’S DONE IN THIS CHAPTER!” I have honestly got no words with everything that’s happened in this chapter. Feed me with your thoughts and let’s have a chat with Campbelle’s decision and how long have you cried after reading this heavy of a chapter. Via Twitter: @_AndieTiu Or you can also reach me in Tumblr: loveandietiu.tumblr.com I love you, my roasted sweet potatoes. Ps. Last Saturday, someone messaged me that my other 1D story, ‘Soul Siren’, was copied in Wattpad. I do post my stories in other sites but I was completely oblivious that someone would actually copy my work and brag that it’s theirs. It was awful! So please, if you ever find out ‘The Way We Are’ is posted somewhere by someone who isn’t me, then please tell me. Plagiarism is a crime. Never do it. Ok. Way too long end notes. Now, hit me with your best shot.
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