Where Did I Go Wrong

the "Inspired By A Song" competition. My story was inspired by the song "How To Save A Life" by The Fray. My story is about a girl (Dawn) struggling to fight depression and her best friend (Caelan) who is trying his hardest to understand her and help her through it. Life is full of ups and downs, some people experience it more than others. But that is why we have to find a way to get through it.
“By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning.” -Lao Tzu

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6. Just Not The Same

Caelan kneels beside my breathless body, stunned at what he sees. My wrists completely ripped up from the razor. He takes the razor and throws it as far as he can, tears rushing down his cheeks like the blood from my wrists. He shakes and shakes with anxiousness and rage as he dials in 911. He talks with such a demanding voice, like he always did. About 10 minutes later, the ambulance comes and gets my body. Caelan comes in the ambulance with me, and holds my hand the whole way to the hospital. 

 

Later that evening...

 

"Good news, she is still breathing. But we are unsure if the bleeding with continue or not, so the loss of blood is indefinite right now." says the doctor as he walks into the waiting room. 

"Thank god." Caelan whispers under his breath.

Caelan continues and says "Can I go see her right now?"

"She is unconscious, but you can go see her."

"Thank you so much, doctor." Caelan says as he walks past the doctor to my hospital room.  

Caelan opens that door and sees my motionless body, only breathing, and he sighs in relief. As long as she's alive, I'm alive too. Caelan thinks to himself. He walks over to my bed and sits in the chair next to me. He takes my hand with both of his and stares at my closed eyes.

He starts talking and says-
"I wish I could see your eyes right now, Dawn. As grey and dull as they are, they still light up my world. If I had just known how hurt you were, how depressed you really were, then I could have saved your life. I could have prevented this to have happened. I'm so stupid, this is all my fault. I should have stayed home today. I should have protected you. But no, I was so blind. Now it's my fault you are laying here in a hospital bed, with bandages writhing around your arms. I don't think I would ever be the same if I had lost you. I love you so much Dawn, more than you ever know. If you had really-"

He hesitates, holding back his tears, and continues-

"If you had really died today, I would be forever lost. I would be nothing without you, my best friend, my sister, the one I share everything with. I feel like I went wrong somewhere, I feel like somewhere I lost you. I would have stayed up with you every night, talking to you about everything." 

He pauses again. 

"If I had only known how to save a life."

He stops speaking, unable to, letting his emotions get the best of him. He shuts his eyes, laying his head on the edge of the bed, still holding my hand. He prays for me, he talks to me throughout the night. And in the morning, he leaves. 

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