Where Did I Go Wrong

the "Inspired By A Song" competition. My story was inspired by the song "How To Save A Life" by The Fray. My story is about a girl (Dawn) struggling to fight depression and her best friend (Caelan) who is trying his hardest to understand her and help her through it. Life is full of ups and downs, some people experience it more than others. But that is why we have to find a way to get through it.
“By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try, the world is beyond winning.” -Lao Tzu


2. Fear and Blame



"We need to talk."

I have a feeling something bad is going to happen. My mind thought of endless possibilities as to what it could be and my hands automatically go to pull down my long sleeves. Caelan knows about my depression, but he doesn't know about the self-harm. I have never kept anything from Caelan, except this.

"Listen, I never wanted to bring this up, but I feel like it's about time I should. I found your... stash of razors. I didn't intentionally find them, but I was looking for my glasses, and I just stumbled across it. I was confused at first, but then I put two and two together. Dawn, if you need any more therapy or help at all, I will make sure you get it." 

My heart races and I know what I want to say but all I can get out is "I'm sorry." I swallow down a sob and hold back my tears. I set my arms on the table, wrists facing up. I loosen my grip on my sleeves and allow Caelan to pull up my sleeves, revealing scars, healing cuts, and recent cuts. Once both of my sleeves are pulled up, I can't hold myself in for much longer and I start crying. Caelan brings me in for a hug and I rest my face in the nook of his neck, slowly letting myself fall apart right in front of him. In between sobs I tell him "I've just been feeling so lost and I can't find a way out of my pit. I feel like I'm slowly sinking. I feel like this is my only escape. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry."  He comforts me, telling me that everything will be alright and it will get better. I want to believe him. I want to believe that with time, I will get better. But it keeps on getting worse. The cuts are getting deeper and the doses are getting larger. 

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