Blush

The night before the last day of school my grandpa had done something to me, but I was keeping it quiet because if I had brought it up I know for a fact that we would never get Anthony back. As much as I was hurting I couldn’t do that to my brother, so I kept my mouth shut the secret locked deep in my heart where only two people knew. My grandma and my grandpa… I will keep this secret because its humiliating, I won’t ever tell anyone even when we get Anthony back and I gather up the courage to get Niall’s number I won’t even tell him. It was just that bad, it was that kind of secret that if you told someone they wouldn’t know what to say.

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2. accidental run ins'

Now

 

My hair was in a tight ballerina bun, streaks of purple sticking out from my brown hair. I had bleached some strands just to be able to rebel and turn the bleached strands purple. Last week I had found out my grandpa was dying from cancer in his bone marrow, all I said to my family who had tear stains on their faces was ‘good, I hope he dies a slow painful death.’ Then I had walked out and bought a plane ticket to London, England. They of course tried calling and texting non-stop but I didn’t answer, I couldn’t bring myself to tell my family members or anyone what had happened and why I hated him so much. I reached up trying to grab a roll of paper towels from the extremely high shelf at the grocery store.

“Come on!” I groaned jumping up trying to hit it with my hand to knock it down, I jumped again. When I was about to jump again an arm reached up gripping onto the plastic wrapped roll pulling it from the shelf the person handed it to me causing me to look up into a sea of brown chocolate curls and green eyes.

“Thanks!” I grinned taking it from his hand and throwing it in the buggy. I walked down the aisle not letting him respond. I made my way towards the frozen foods looking down the aisle for the ones that held the ice cream. I gripped the handle only to have it be blocked from opening due to someone’s hand pushing the door closed. I looked up to see the same guy with curls that had helped me with the paper towels.

“Yes?” I asked trying not to sound annoyed at the fact that this dude was now bothering me.

“Do you not know who I am?” he asked a bit surprised. I let out a sigh at the guy’s stupidity.

“Dude,” I stated with a blank face, “I just met you not even two minutes ago do you honestly think I know who you are?” I laughed at him.

“How do you not-” he was interrupted from his sentence due to someone calling his name.

“Dude Harry what’s taking so long?” a blonde boy asked walking closer I slowly started recognizing him. He walked up to us causing me to bite my lip to keep the tears at bay.

“Niall?” I whispered as his eyes slowly met mine they had widened in realization.

“Oh my god Lillian!” Niall said running to me he pulled me into a hug, I hugged him tighter as the tears started to slowly fall from my eyes.

“Oh so you know him but not me!?” the Harry guy said making Niall and I pull away from our hug.

“Hey don’t cry.” He said wiping one of my tears away with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t call because a lot of stuff happened and I knew you would ask how I’ve been but I didn’t want to put it all on you, Niall I missed you.” I gushed as more tears fell from my eyes.

“Lilly its ok!” Niall laughed pulling me into a hug I suddenly wanted to tell him everything.

“Wait why are you in London?”

“My grandpa’s dying.” I stated trying to hide the hate, Niall’s face softened.

“Shouldn’t you be with your family then I thought you were close to him, what happened Lil?”

“I hate him.”

“Lil that’s not true, what happened?”

“Something I won’t ever speak of again.”

“Lillian Ouray Council what happened?!” he said getting mad.

“I can’t tell you now.” I whispered as my tears came faster and heavier.

“Then come over to my flat you can have dinner, stay the night, and when you’re ready you’ll tell me. right?” he said holding my shoulders as he looked me into the eyes, I tried hiding the pain from my eyes but I didn’t work his face had softened and his voice came out slower as he pulled me into another hug.

“I promise.” I said into his ear.

 

 

*****

 

 

I was in his kitchen making dough for chocolate chip cookies from scratch. Niall walked into the kitchen hugging me from behind causing me to bite my lip as I kneaded the dough I took one of his hands from my stomach placing it on the dough I placed my hand over it. I bent my fingers causing him to do the same; he took his other hand from my waist taking a clump of dough he placed the dough on the tip of my nose making me laugh and turn to face him he took my hands holding them behind my back making me laugh.

With the other hand he reached for something behind my back, but right when I started to feel happy my face fell remembering what I didn’t want to tell Niall. Niall looked at my face letting go of my hands he pulled me into a hug.

“Niall,” I whispered. “He- I don’t like him because- I – I- he deserves to die.” I finished not being able to tell him. He pulled away instantly.

“Lillian that’s a terrible thing to say!” he yelled causing his friends to come see to commotion.

“No its not!” I yelled back.

“He’s your only grandpa!”

“He’s not blood related!”

“But he was there for you! He took care of you, he loves you!”

“He couldn’t die faster.” I said my voice loud and dripping with venom.

“Lillian you don’t mean that! Listen to yourself, why do you hate him!?”

“Because I do, if you knew why you’d hate him too!”

“I would not, why do you want him dead? Why do you hate him!!!?”

“Because!”

“Because why!?”

“Because he’s sick and vile!”

“Lillian that man is the nicest, sweetest man on earth!”

“He is not!” I said turning to walk away.

WHY THE HELL DO YOU HATE HIM!?” he grabbed onto my arm pulling my back to face him.

“BECAUSE!” I paused looking into his crystal blue eyes before I could think I said it.

 

 “Because when I was ten he raped me!” the words tumbled from my mouth faster than I thought possible. He froze his eyes began to water; I dropped to the floor tears fell from my face. I can’t believe I actually told him.

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