Even If.

"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him.
"Even if," he swore.

8Likes
2Comments
3249Views
AA

26. Twenty Two.

The drive back flew by quicker with Jack sitting next to me, never letting go of my hand, but now that I was back in my living room that had flat and stable ground that wasn't moving beneath me, I couldn't stop pacing.

Jack was sat on the couch while I walked back and forth, biting my nails.

"How am I going to say it? What am I going to do? How do I tell someone something like this?" I muttered and buried my face in my hands.

"Come here," Jack whimpered and patted the space next to him, gesturing me to come over.

"I don't know if I can sit still, Jack. This is eating my alive right now," I said. I wanted to say it seriously, but it came out with a one noted laugh and a half racked sob.

"Elizabeth Stark, come here," Jack said again, firmer this time. I took my head out of my hands and glanced over at him. "Okay," I muttered weakly and sat next to him. He reached over and grabbed both of my hands. He cupped them together in his and lifted them up to blow air into them. I giggled slightly, remembering the last time he did that, when everything seemed so much easier. Then it was just a decision to be made in the future. Now it was actually happening.

He lowered my hands and shifted in his seat so he could see me better. I looked at him desperately, but it soon turned into a smile. Every time I looked at him, I remembered that he was mine and I was his and that I wouldn't lose him. Ever.

"So let's do a recap," he said simply, "you're worried about what you're going to tell Finn, correct?" I nodded.

"Okay, I am a good person to come to, because in the beginning, I was sure you'd pick Finn, so I started imagining what I would to if you told me you chose Finn," he confessed, "anyways, I think it would be easier for him if we told him together. If he sees us together, maybe he'll see just a little at least, that we're right for each other. Good plan?"

I nodded again. "Plus, you'd steady me, so it's a good plan."

"Alright, so we'll tell him together," he repeated.

"When will we tell him?" I asked.

"Whenever you want."

Jack's gaze held mine and I had the overwhelming urge to kiss him. So I did.

After all, I didn't have to hold back anymore. He's mine.

His lips were soft, and his kiss still managed to make my head spin.

"Today," I muttered into the kiss. Jack broke it off and looked into my eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

I nodded. "I want you all for myself. All of you."

He smiled. "Love,  you've always had me. Every bit of me."

*_*

 "You know Beth, I think you should probably eat your food," Jack chuckled from the other side of the table. 

I snapped out of my daze and looked down at my uneaten salad. I wasn't hungry.

It was then that I realized my leg had been tapping up and down, causing our soda pops to slosh around. I willed my leg to stop.

I looked down and realized I was biting my nails. They were short stubs by now.

I sighed.

"Hey," Jack coaxed with a soft voice and grabbed my hand across the table, "it'll be okay. He'll understand. Maybe not right away, but he'll be alright. I know him. He wouldn't let this get between us."

I nodded with a weak smile and chuckled. My nervousness was pathetic. 

I prodded my salad and ate it piece by peice, without tasting it. Jack's phone vibrated on the table with a text from Finn.

Finn: Alright, I'll be at Beth's in 20. Promise, that whatever happens, we won't let it get between us?

Jack typed back a quick "I promise." and my heart broke.

Minutes later, my plate was emptied, and my heart hammered relentlessly. "We should go back to my house," I breathed out. He nodded and stood up, never letting go of my hand.

*_*

Once we set foot back at my place, I resumed the earlier position. Pacing. 

"So, are we going to tell him about Cheshire?" Jack asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I don't want to get caught in a lie. Might as well tell him," I sighed.

When I heard the trill of the doorbell, my knees gave away. Jack hurried over and helped me up before we answered the door. 

"I love you. This will all work itself out, Beth, I know it," Jack muttered before we opened the door. Finn smiled back at us, but you could pick apart his nervousness.

"Hey Finn," I nervously smiled and gave him a hug. I noticed now how different his hugs were from Jack's. Jack's felt right. Finn's didn't. Not anymore.

He stepped in and I closed the door behind him. Jack shot me a reassuring smile.

I breathed in and followed behind them into the living room. We didn't sit. 

We stood in the middle of the room. Right where I danced with Jack when I told him I loved him. 

I faced both of them and began.

"From the very start, I knew this was insane. I knew it, but I did it anyway. I just couldn't help myself. My heart took over my brain and look at what's come of it. I love you both, so much. Please don't forget that. Nothing is going to change that. It's just going to have to become a different kind of love, but I'm not going anywhere.

No more stalling. No more hiding. No turning back.

I love Jack, and that's all that matters.

"Finn, I love you so much. In fact, you were the first one I fell in love with, out of the two," I admiited and his eyes brightened up with hope. My heart broke inside, for I knew what I was about to do.

"- and for that very reason Finn, I can't choose you."

His smile faded and his eyes got glassy, but he didn't shed a tear. But the look, that look in his eyes, was enough to kill me inside.

I couldn't quite place exactly what the look was. It wasn't love. It wasn't embarrassment. It was sheer sadness, in it's purest state.

I just broke a person. A real person. Not just any person, but one that I love.

"What do you mean?" he muttered, without looking me in the eyes. I was almost glad he didn't look at me- I could hardly bear to see him any longer. But he deserved an explanation. It was the least I could do.

"Finn, I love you. I meant every word I said when we were together. But I love Jack too, and that's exactly the thing. I loved you and I knew it and I went along and fell for Jack," I stuttered, but nothing seemed to be coming out right.

"I don't think I understand," he said. I could hear the pain in his voice.

"If I loved you enough, I wouldn't have fallen for Jack. I would have stayed with you and I would have ended it right with him right when I knew it. The truth is, Finn, I don't deserve you. I don't deserve either of you. But when I went along and fell for Jack after I already knew it was you, I knew it couldn't be real."

He nodded.

"And Finn, there's something else too. My mother died last week," I came out and said. It sounded so out of context and random, that Finn's head snapped back up.

"She died? How?"

"Alcohol poisoning. my dad came to get me to take me to the funeral and to read the will. I didn't tell anyone I was leaving, but I ran into Jack on the way out. He followed me to Cheshire and I knew it was him, Finn. I knew it. I'm sorry," I stated. I reached my hand up to my cheeks and it came back wet. I was crying.

I was going mad.

But then, hesitantly at first, Jack walked over to me. He laced his fingers in mine and wiped the tears off my face, and for a moment, I forgot about everything. It was just me and him and him and me and our hands were locked and we were together and that's all that mattered.

But sadly, I had a mess to clean up. I looked back at Finn to find him staring at us intently, the glassiness in his eyes nonexistent.

"You really love him, don't you?" he whispered, hardly audibly. It was almost as if he was saying it to himself, so he could believe it.

I nodded, and smiled weakly. He did the same.

"That's all that matters, Beth. I want you to be happy, and if being with Jack will bring you that, then who am I to keep you apart?"

I sighed out with relief and reached out to hug him tightly.

"I'll be okay," he whispered as he buried his face in my neck, keeping me as close as I'd allow.

I stepped back and looked at him.

"One last kiss?" he asked weakly, his voice breaking. I looked over at Jack, and he nodded with a weak smile.

"One last kiss," I agreed.

The kiss was something I can hardly remember now; a mixture of tears, desperation, and ampersand to remind us of our little broken infinity. There's always an "and" and this was our "and."

We were a story of a boy who met a girl and somewhere along the way they fell in love

and

we both had to move on. 

*_*

HELLLLOOOOOOOOO EVERYBODY

I FEEL IN A REALLY CAPS LOCK MOOD RIGHT NOW SO I'M GOING TO KEEP IT THIS WAY LOLOLOL.

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN FOREVER. I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRRRRRRYYYYYYYY BUT IVE HAD LOTS OF STUFF GO ON AND MY WIFI WENT DOWN WHEN I WAS TRYING TO WRITE THIS AND I KNOW IT'S NOT THE BEST BUT I LOVE YOU SO I HURRIED ALONG AND FINISHED IT FOR YOUUUUU GUYSSSSS.

Oh, and I don't know why I'm saying this but I feel like I should:

You.

Yeah you.

The one who's reading this.

You're beautiful and loved and you're the bestest creation in the history of ever.

Just throwing it out thereeeeee .

Well bye I guess. If you read this super long author's note, I applaud you.

COMMENTS ARE ENJOYED AND ENCOURAGED. LOL

BTdubbs guys you're great.

K bai.

(Ps, if you love Teen Beach Movie too hit me up because I love it and am in the mood to fangirl lololol)

Join MovellasFind out what all the buzz is about. Join now to start sharing your creativity and passion
Loading ...