Even If.

"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him.
"Even if," he swore.


25. Twenty One.

I believe that everything happens for a reason. There are some actions that no matter how small, can change everything. Sometimes it's just one single moment, one single decision. In my case, that's what it was.

Here's the thing, no matter how hard the journey I took turned out to be, I wouldn't take it back or change one second of it. Every high and low of the past few months led up to this moment, and it made every single bad feeling that I felt, worth it.

His arms were wrapped around me and for once, I felt no ounce of regret or doubts. I knew that I wanted to be in his arms forever, just like this; my face nuzzled up against the warm fabric of his tee shirt that smelled like him. Even the very smell of him made my head spin. 

Neither of us wanted to unlock our embrace, but I yearned to see his face. Now that I'd made my decision on who I wanted to date, I was going to be seeing it more often, so I might as well get used to it.

He cheekily grinned down at me and cupped his hands around my cheek, pulling me in for a chaste kiss. Once his lips touched mine I felt exhilerated. Even at the smallest kiss and the lightest touch, he made my head spin and I could barely remember my own name. 

"Beth," he muttered, his voice still raspy from the morning. Just the sound of his voice made my knees go weak.

"Jack," I breathed out and couldn't hide my grin.

"I have to ask, but when you said something like... I don't know... 'I knew it was you' did you like... mean it?" he asked me with a raised eyebrow while scratching the back of his neck. I could see his muscles flex as he did this and I almost swooned. It was almost like before I made my decision, I was holding back from noticing how striking he actually was, and now it was all hitting me full force.

I could hardly contain my excitement as I bit my lip and nodded excitedly. 

"I meant it," I broke into a grin.

"So... just clarifying," he assured me with a smile,"that means... that it's me you choose out of me or Finn?"

I chuckled and playfully hit him on the shoulder. "What, do you want me to change my mind?" 

His expression grew panicked, "No, no, no, n-" he repeated quickly before I cut him off by placing my lips on his.

"Kidding," I said on his lips and he chuckled before deepening the kiss. His arms wrapped around me once more and he pulled me closer and rubbed small circles on my lower back while I rested my arms on his shoulders, lacing my fingers through his soft brown hair.

He detached his lips from mine and with a smirk he began placing small kisses from my neck to my jawline. I almost sighed as he lifted his head and bore his eyes into mine.

"Mine," he whispered, almost inaudibly before his lips found mine once more.

Both of us were no longer holding back. I was his and he was mine and nothing could come between us anymore. I had no doubts in my mind anymore that we would no longer be together.

Instead of kissing needfully like usual, we kissed lovingly because I no longer needed an answer. 

"Jackson Frayn Harries is the love of my life and I will do anything for him," I thought as we kissed. It was a good thing that I loved him so much, because who would've known then what was to come for us.

I knew I had to say goodbye to Finn once we got back to London, but I didn't care anymore. I forced the thought out of my mind and just focused on Jack.

"I think," he muttered on my lips and placed one more kiss before pulling away, "we need to talk."

I groaned. I wanted to keep kissing him now that he was mine, and he could totally read my expression, because he chuckled and leaned in close. "Oh you'll get more," he whispered into my ear, and he was so close that I could feel his warm breath tickle the side of my cheek.

"Tease," I muttered and shook my head with a smile. He just grinned back.

"Well let's sit. I have a lot to tell you," I moved a strand of hair behind my ear and pointed towards where I was sitting before Jack came in.

"Okay, first off," Jack said once we were both sat next to each other with our legs laid out and our backs against the lockers, "what brought you back home?"

"My mother died," I informed him simply.

"Beth, I'm sorry," he added in with sincerity. I knew he meant it but I realized I didn't need sympathy. I would be fine.

"It's fine. It was time for her to go," I said quietly and he nodded, understanding.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he asked and reached for my hand, squeezing it tight. 

"I didn't want to make a fuss on Christmas," I shrugged.

"This happened on Christmas?"

"Christmas Eve, actually, while I was at your house- which brings me to my next thing," I prepped him.

"What?" he asked cautiously, eyeing me with a raised eyebrow.

"My dad came back. He was the one who told me," I revealed. He looked genuinely shocked at this.

"So that's who you were waiting for, back at your house," he pieced together and I nodded.

"How did you feel about that?" he asked me.

"I'm not exactly sure I was able to feel at all when I saw him. I was angry and sad but at the same time I had missed him for so long. Anyways, he told me about my mom on Christmas and asked me to go with him to read the will. Now he's apologized and we've talked it through and I feel really good about it now," I told him and he smiled.

"You deserve to have a father," he smiled. 

"Wait, so what's your side of the story? How did you find me?"

"It was actually pure luck. I knew you were going somewhere, but I didn't know if you'd be staying close to London or if you were flying somewhere else. Then, I was looking on Twitter to see if any of your update accounts had spotted you, and one of them got a picture of you at the airport. Then I knew you were flying, so I packed up all my stuff and went to the airport. I knew that before you went to London, you never left Cheshire and it was your home, so I took a chance and grabbed the next overnight flight here. This was the tricky part. I needed a car, so I went to rent a car and asked if you had been there and he said you had, so I knew I was in the right place. First, I drove to your old Postal Address because I guessed that it had been close to where you used to live, so I started driving everywhere, looking for your rental car. I ended up getting tired, so I drove to the nearest hotel, and I spotted your car. I then wasn't sure what room you were in because the lady at the front desk refused to tell me, so I just got my own room and went to bed," he informed me with a grin. He was quite proud of himself.

I was quite impressed, so I kept listening intently and motioned for him to go on.

"Anyways, when I got up in the morning, I went to my window just to check out the scenery because I was facing the street, and I saw you walking. I hurried and went down to follow you, but by the time I got down there, I could hardly see you, so I ran and followed you into here," he finished.

"Wow, Jackson, I'm impressed. I didn't know you had detective skills," I laughed.

"I'd go anywhere for you, Beth," he said and my heart flip flopped in my chest. 

He really does love me.

"Too bad you didn't know I'd be home in two days," I couldn't help but laugh and he playfully shoved me with his shoulder.

"Hey, I never knew how long you'd be gone, so I took a chance," he laughed.

I smiled and let my head rest on his shoulder, and it felt so right, just being here with him.


Jack insisted that he stayed with me, and even if I don't want to admit it to him, I was relieved. Just his presence steadied me at the funeral.

My mother looked so peaceful as she slept, and I knew that it was the right time for her to go. She suffered so much, but now, she was free.

It was a quiet and solemn affair, but it went quick. There were no speeches because there was no one to hear them, but I had the chance to say my goodbyes and that was enough. Jack never once let go of my hand, and I'm not sure what I would have done without him. 

Shortly after the funeral, we all boarded the plane and went home. My father adored Jack, and I was glad that I didn't have to deal with what would have happened if he wouldn't have liked him.

As we flew home, Jack and my dad kept up conversation and I tried not to hurl. I knew that once we got home, I'd have to tell Finn.


Author's Note:

Hey guys! I'm sorry the end of this kinda sucked, I really wanted to get it to you fast! I got so much good feedback from the last chapter and I wanted to get this to you as soon as possible!

So now you know..


I thought I made it really obvious before that but yeah, so I chose him. 

To be honest, earlier on in the story I was convinced that I would choose Finn. I loved her relationship with Finn, but I decided to choose Jack instead right after I wrote the Cold December Night chapter! 

So yes, this book is almost over, but I'd give it about 1-2 more chapters and an epilouge for sure! 

Thank you so much for reading! Tell me what you guys think about her decision in the comments, lol.

Oh, and last thing, if you want to know when I update, you should follow me because I'm going to be putting more status updates about when I'm going to update! 

Love you all!



Ps- not proofread because I'm lazy lol

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