Even If.

"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him.
"Even if," he swore.

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18. Fourteen.

MWHAHAHAHAHAH I know that the last chapter was super short and that you've been craving more, so I hope I make up for it with this chapter :). Song of the chapter is Brave by Sara Bareilles. Play when you see the # sign!

My leg bounced up and down in nervousness as I waited in the plush chairs of the waiting room. Zoe put her hand on my leg and looked at me with an expression that said, "Calm down weirdo, you'll be fine," and I smiled back gratefully.

I knew for a fact that I could not come here alone. That was a given. The hard thing was choosing someone to come. I knew that I couldn't pick Jack without Finn or Finn without Jack, and I didn't want to be seen as a troublemaker groupie by the company, so I decided on Zoe, because from the beginning she'd had my back. Know she was proving my decision to be right by her comforting ways.

The door at the side of the room swung open, and Haden Clark walked in wearing jeans and a plaid tee shirt. Must be casual Friday.

It was so weird seeing someone who is so famous and popular doing normal things and wearing normal clothes. Imagine seeing Simon Cowell in his pajamas, and you get the picture.

"Beth! How great to see you! I've been telling my assistants about you. They're quite eager to meet you," he grinned and shook my hand formally.

"I'm happy to have been invited here. This is literally so cool to be here! This is my friend Zoe Sugg," I introduced.

"Hello Zoe, it's a pleasure," he smiled politely.

"The pleasure's mine," she replied.

"So Beth, how about we get you in the studio? We can see how you sound on recording," he said.

"Let's do it," I smiled eagerly.

He led us out of the waiting room and into an expensive, fancy looking recording studio. Zoe sat outside the recording room with Haden and I walked in. 

My trembling hands reached out to grab the large black headphones and I placed them on my head, blocking out any possible noise that could mess me up. 

I heard Haden talk into the studio microphone, which projected through the headphones.

"Just sing anything you like. We just need to see if your voice sounds good on tape. Start anytime you like."

For a moment I pondered what to sing. It had to be a song that I'm really good at. I racked through my brain, trying to think of the songs that I've been singing lately, around the house and such.

After a minute, I started singing my shower song. You know, the song that always comes into your head while you're showering, so you grab a loofah and pretend you're singing at MSG in front of your thousands of adoring fans? Maybe it's just me who does that.

 The beginning notes of Brave by Sara Bareilles started playing through my head.

I started off strong and tried to forget that the biggest man in the music buisness was sitting at the other side of the room. I forgot about everything. Jack, Finn, Zoe, my channel, Luke, everything else could wait. After such a long time of worrying about everyone else's needs, I focused on me. I closed my eyes and let it happen.

This is my moment. Nobody else can ruin this. Not even Luke. I am going to live my dreams.


The lyrics of the song left my mouth at an steady beat, and I rocked it. The numbness of performance swept over me, and I became lost in the silence of my own thoughts. I just performed, which was my strong suit.

If only you could see me now, Dad. 

As the end notes of the song left my mouth, I slowly returned to reality. I opened my eyes to see Haden and Zoe grinning at me from the other side of the glass, and a smile crept on my face.

I did it! 

Those three words replayed over and over in my head as I made my way to the door and entered the room with them.

"Wow, Beth, that was incredible. Come here, I'll show you what we can do with that," Haden said and ushered me to a seat beside him, facing a computer that I had no idea how to use.

"Since you sang a song that's already released, I went and got the instrumental version of it and layered it over your performance. Listen to it," he explained and played a clip of my performance, and I was stunned that it was me singing. It sounded amazing.

"Now, we clean it up. Usually we have to do a lot of work on a person's voice to make it record ready, but you have what we call a CD voice, which is almost perfect for recording. Anyways, we layer that over it, and now take a listen," he played the clip again and it sounded even better.

"Wow," I muttered.

"After listening over your previous performances over the internet, I've come to a conclusion about your voice. You have the ability to change the style of your singing and adopt almost anything you do. Last night when you sang Chocolate, you adopted the retro British style, but here, you adopted the soulful  belting voice. It's very rare. It's why you can sing literally anything and sound good," he explained to me.

I couldn't find the words to reply, and Zoe jumped in to save me.

This was all so overwhelming. I was speechless. My dream is actually coming true.

"It makes a lot of sense, actually. One minute she's sounding like Kelly Clarkson and the next she's singing Selena Gomez and sounds almost Latina, like her," she said.

"Exactly. All in all, I really think you would do great with our company. How would you like a record deal, little lady?" he offered with a grin.

ASDFasdlfhjasljfdhlhweaisuphfajlkds WHAT?!

I couldn't speak. I could hardly even breathe.

It's happening. It's really happening.

Ever since high school, I've been dreaming of this moment. 

As he started shuffling through his papers, this reality started setting in, and I started internally screaming. I wanted to jump up and victory dance on his table. 

"Excuse me, Haden, but this room is soundproof, right?" I gestured toward the recording room.

"When the microphone is off, yeah," he replied.

"You might want to turn it off," Zoe laughed, knowing exactly what I wanted to do.

"We'll be right back," I excused us and we walked into the recording room, making sure to close the door  tightly before we started freaking out.

We jumped up and down and screamed as loud as we could. She gave me a big hug and we screamed some more.

After about a minute of freaking out, we put on our serious faces and walked back into the office to see Haden doubling over in laughter.

"I would love to be a part of this company," I told him before signing my name on the contract.

*_*

"FOORRR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW FOR SHE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOWWWWWWW WHICH NOBODY CAN DENY!!!" everyone sang loudly, and I couldn't suppress a laugh. I had the best friends in the world, hands down.

Jack and Finn walked into the kitchen carrying a tiered tower made out of donuts with a candle on the top.

I couldn't wipe the grin on my face as they set the tray in front of me.

"Aww, you guys shouldn't have," I chuckled.

"Yes we should've! You've finally got your big break, and this is a very big deal that causes for a huge celebration," Alfie smiled before blowing a party noisemaker in my ear, making me giggle.

"Make a wish, Beth," Finn grinned at me and leaned in closer from the other side of the table. I desperately wanted to kiss him, but now wasn't the time.

I closed my eyes and racked my brain for something in my life that needed wishing to fix it, but I couldn't think of anything.

I opened my eyes and grinned.

"There's nothing to wish for. Everything is perfect, right now,"  I smiled at my friends around me before blowing out the candle and grabbing a donut. A frenzy followed as everyone in the group tried to secure their own donut, and I sat in the middle of the commotion and laughed.

"You guys are so good to me," I chuckled as I munched on my perfectly glazed confection.

"And we're also going to be late to our film, let's go!" Dan waved as all out and into the cars so we could view the midnight premier of Thor: The Dark World at our local cinema.

"How are you feeling?" Zoe asked me once we were alone and driving in her car.

"I can't even explain it! I'm over the moon, I'm incredibly ecstatic, I'm... happy," I giggled.

"Good. You deserve to be," Zoe chuckled and we continued for the next few moments in silence.

"How are you and Jack and Finn?" Zoe asked, breaking the silence.

"Oh boy," I sighed, "I'm in love with both of them."

"What are you going to do?" she asked sympathetically.

"The funny thing is that you didn't even sound surprised," I noticed.

"I can see it in you, when you're with them. You seem completely happy when they're with you," she told me, and my face reddened.

"I am. I love them both, so much, but in different ways. I just can't imagine my life without either of them, and that's the problem," I sighed into my hand

"You'll figure it out, Beth. You always do."

"But what if I don't? What if I lose both of them? Or what if I destroy their relationship with each other? I couldn't even live if I did that," I voiced the doubts that had been present in my thoughts day after day.

'The truth is, you're smart and you'll do what you think is right, and they're great guys. They wouldn't let this get in between their relationship. And I don't think either of them want to lose you either. I talked to Finn earlier, and he said that if you don't choose him, he'd still want to be friends with you because you're such a good friend and he didn't want to lose that," Zoe revealed with a small smile as she kept her eyes on the road.

"He said that?" I smiled at the thought.

"Totally. They're both head over heels for you, that's for sure. The point is, it'll all work out," she assured me.

"Wow, thanks Zoe. And thanks for being for me today, I couldn't have faced the company without you," I told her.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," she smiled.

*_*

Author's note:

Ahhhh filler filler filler filler. Don't you hate that word? I know I do. I WANT THE ACTION JUST AS MUCH AS YOU DO.

Don't worry, it might seem boring, but things are going to get shaken up realllllll soon:) 

Sorry for my lack of quality, writer's block is the death of me.

SOO YEAH I LOVE YOU ALL FOR READING AND VOTING YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME:) *Marcel voice* you're cute as a button, every single one of you!

If you vote like crazy, you might get an update sooner.... maybe;) hehe

LOVE YOU ALL

Stay safe!

Hannalizzy

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

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