Even If.

"You'd love me? Even if it's not you who I choose?" I whispered to him.
"Even if," he swore.

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22. Eighteen.

"Daddy?" I croaked out.

"Beth," he sighed out and opened his arms while walking toward me, expecting an embrace.

I stumbled back and tripped over my feet causing me to fall.

"N-no," I stuttered.

My whole body was overcome with a trembling sensation, and I felt the urge to cry or scream, but I never found the strength to do either.

He seemed shaken too. He was obviously about as nervous as I was.

"Beth," he repeated, as though he needed to hear the sound of my name escape his lips once more to make sure it was real.

"Y-you N-need t-to g-g-go," I managed to mutter. I felt overcome with emotions. Ever since he left, I had both feared and yearned for this moment. I was torn apart by my love of how he used to be and my hatred of what he did.

"Aren't you happy to see me?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes... no... I don't know," I cowarded from him as he stepped closer and hovered over me.

He held out a hand to help me up, but I shook my head and forced my quivering limbs to lift myself off of the pavement.

"I can do things myself," I spat. He was taken aback by the bitterness in my tone, as was I. But I knew where the anger was coming from.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"I don't think it's a good time for that right now," I shook my head, avoiding his eye contact.

"Beth, it's important," he stated.

"Is it bad?" I asked with a raised eyebrow. He hesitantly nodded.

I sighed. "Okay. We can talk."

"Thank you," he sighed.

"But not now," I interrupted, "I'm finally having a decent Christmas for once and I don't want you to ruin it. We'll talk tomorrow afternoon. Meet me at Starbucks at 4."

He nodded.

"I'll see you then, Beth. I love you," he added and I felt a pang in my heart as he walked away. He has the nerve to say I love you when he left me?

"Do you, Dad? Do you really love me? With what you've done, it sure doesn't seem like it," I told him with a hint of bitterness before I walked back into the house, leaving him behind me.

*_*

"Are you okay, Beth?" Zoe asked me once we were both in our pajamas and lying on her floor.

"Yeah," I lied and smiled, "I'm just really overwhelmed. You have no idea how much this means to me."

She smiled, "You've been a great friend to all of us. You deserve it."

"Thanks," I smiled sincerely, "I just feel like everything is finally working out for me. I mean, I move here just wanting to get away from my mother, and I make the best friends, I stand up to Luke, I do crazy things that I would've never thought possible, I get signed by SYCO, I get two number ones, and I fall in love twice. I feel like this isn't even real."

"Well believe it baby, cause it's real," she joked and I chuckled before coming to a realization.

"What?" she asked precautionally as she watched my smile fall into a shocked expression.

"Zoe."

"What?!" she laughed impatiently.

"One Direction is signed with SYCO too!" I fangirled. As she realized what I was talking about she squealed.

"You don't think you'll get to meet them, do you?!" 

"No, I don't think I'll get to meet them," I pouted.

"I think we'll get to meet them!"

We both freaked out.

"This is too much," she sighed and threw her hand to her forehead like she was swooning.

I giggled and turned to look at the clock. It read 2:30 AM.

"We better hit the hay," Zoe said.

"Yeah. Night Zoe," I muttered as I snuggled up in the mountain of blankets Zoe gave me.

"Night Beth," she softly chuckled as she turned out the lamp and pulled her bedsheets over her.

*_*

"Get up! Get up! It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!" Zoe squealed and started shaking me awake. I chucked and rubbed the sleepiness out of my eyes.

"Hate to break it to ya, but Santa isn't real, Zo," I chuckled.

"Oh hush don't ruin my fun," she laughed before Joe came bounding in.

"It's Christmas!!!!" he yelled and jumped on me.

"Oh gosh Joe, you'll flatten me!" 

We all laughed before Zoe pulled me up. 

"Let's go downstairs!!!" she jumped excitedly.

I tried to shake off the dream of my father that I had just had and followed her downstairs.

I stared in awe at the beautiful Christmas tree with presents nestled beneath it.

Standing in the doorway with a smile on my face, I watched Joe and Zoe cheerily bound over to the Christmas tree. The Sugg parents then walked in and sat on the couch watching their kids open presents like little toddlers.

"Come on Beth! There's some for you too!"

I slowly made my way over to the tree in disbelief and sure enough, right in front of me was a tightly wrapped box with my name on it.

Zoe and Joe were both settled criss cross on the floor opening a present on their laps so I did the same.

When I opened it I found that Joe, Zoe, and I had all gotten the same Christmas jumper that was so cheesy and great. We all had a laugh and slipped them on over our sleep shirts.

In the end, I was overjoyed. I got a few really nice things from the Sugg family and I was so grateful for their genorosity.

Sadly, I did have to leave the house where I got my first Christmas morning in ten years so I could go meet my father.

Zoe drove me home and I got ready in my best outfit I owned. I wanted my dad to see how much growing up I've done that he's missed.

Zeus and I hurried along and walked our way to the tube station. We sat silently in the empty compartment for a quick ride. I could have walked but the winter wind was quite nippy.

Too soon, I found myself at the door of Starbucks. I walked in and saw my dad sitting at the table in the corner.

He stood up as I walked in and made sure I got in my seat fine before he sat down himself. I would have appriciated the gesture, had he not, I don't know, missed around 15 years of my life?

"Hello Beth. You look beautiful," he smiled his friendly smiled that I had missed.

"Hello dad," I returned stiffly.

"Beth, I want to tell you that I'm sorry," he began.

"For what?" I spat.

"For leaving you. I knew it was wrong."

"Then why'd you do it?" I said trying to hold in my tears and stay firm. I so was not going to ruin my makeup for him.

"Truthfully, I wasn't ready to be a father. I felt like you would be better off without me," he admitted sheepishly.

"Well I wasn't. Do you realize how hard my life has been since you left?" I said coldly.

"Yes you were, Beth. If I hadn't have gone, you wouldn't be where you are today."

I stayed silent because I knew he was right.

"You moved here all by yourself, you have a successful Youtube channel-" 

"You know about my Youtube?" I interrupted incredulously.

"Of course. My favorite video was probably your Bunjee Jumping video. You screamed just like you used to when you were six," he smiled, and my expression softened and melted into a smile.

"And you got a record deal! I'll have you know, I've downloaded both your singles. They're my new Holiday jams, I'm like your number one fan," he said nerdily and I giggled.

"Aw Beth I've missed you," he murmered.

"I've missed you too dad," I admitted with a smile, "but if you missed me why didn't you just come back?"

"I know it's not a good enough reason but I was afraid."

He didn't have to explain more. I understood him, so I just nodded.

It was then that I realized he had set a warm cup of hot chocolate in front of me. I gladly took it and sipped.

"So you've kinda been around me and I haven't noticed?"

"Kinda yeah. I wanted to see how you were doing. By the way, you did good in your Les Miserables performance," he said nonchantly as he sipped his coffee.

I almost choked on my Hot Chocolate.

"You mean my ninth grade musical?"

He nodded. It was then I knew he had been in the crowd. He had been there when my mother wasn't to support me. I wanted to get up and hug him.

"So what news did you need to tell me?" I asked him and his happy expression faded into a serious one.

"I don't know how to tell you this..." He started, "but.. Your mother."

"What about her?"

"She died, Beth."


*-*

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

HAHA so this was a short chapter but there's more good stuff coming hehe and I'm pretty sure you'll see Beth's decision in about 2 ish chapters? Yeah sounds about right. MWAHAHAHAH.

Thanks for all the support for this story! I love you all!

Vote and comment!

Love, 

Hannalizzy 

Xoxo

*CHAPTER NOT PROOFREAD I HAVE A HEADACHE AND AM LAZY SORRY FOR MISTAKES LOLZ*
 

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