When she cries

She screamed and slammed the door. Voices kept whispering just die already. It felt like someone just threw a brick at her. Her head kept pounding. While she crashed down the ground started moving. The eyes, the pain. Everything I had done. Every single thing. Then there's nothing. No sounds, no voices only her reflection in the mirror staring at her while the last tear dropped down onto the floor.

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5. Ana

In my room I started thinking again, not a bad kind of thinking but a nice kind of. Ana was still yelling at me because I had dinner. She demanded me to go for a run but it was pitch black outside. I wasn't in the mood either so I tried to not pay attention to her. I would have loved to be able to put duck-tape over her mouth and just make her shut up, but I knew I couldn't. So I layed down on the bed and hugged with my giraffe for a bit. I even started stroking it, when I thought about what I was doing I started laughing. Ana was laughing to by the time she saw what I was doing. Only that she was laughing bothered me, because it was a mean laugh.

 

I tried I really did try to get rid of her, I mean of Ana. But the thoughts of what I could be where just to strong. If I thought about being here, walking and breathing I could not imagine it without her. She was everything I needed and everything I would ever want. But I also didn't want to have it. So I kept her just to keep my mind clear and my body happy. It wasn't the best decision I ever made, but it was one of the few I made by myself, without others. Just herself, her own mind. No one else.

 

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