Hanging by a thread

Everyone Has scars they don't want to talk about. Mines just on my body and in my head. I paint a pretty picture, but with a twist. My paint brush is a razor, my canvas is my wrist. I paint a pretty picture. In a color that's blood red. My mind is the razor, and my wrist is my heart. If you don't understand my silence, you won't understand my words. I look at my cuts, burns and bruises I gave to myself. Each one was a battle I lost with myself. To you this might not make since, but for you you will understand. Words hurt i have the scars to prove it. I have one question for you though. How many more people have to die to realize bullying leads to death? One thing I don't know yet, but will soon find out is Happiness can be found even in the darkest of time. *One Direction fanfiction*


1. Save me

Pain. That's all I feel every day. 24 seven and it never goes away. I am a disappointment to everyone. Including myself. Laying the dark for hours tonight. Thinking how much of a screw up I a.m. How much I hate my life. How much I want to disappear. I'm often silent when I'm screaming inside. I injure because I'm hurting inside. The pain will never go away. I wonder if the teachers care.   If they sit in class figuring out  Who can't sleep at night. Who gets abused at home. Who can't even face a mirror. I wonder If they care about The deadlines they set. How much stress their pupils Are already under.   I wonder if the teachers care How much I need a break, How much space I need from school,  How many of them actually care. Sometimes it hurts to smile in front of people more. Going to cry All alone.   Take a breath and start to smile It's all the same after a while. I can't because it's an escape. I started myself because I want to be perfect. I wear make up to hide my insecurity. I keep to myself because I'm scared. I'm a bitch Because I'm broken inside. I don't talk Because everyone hates me. We all have stories and we all have scars. Mines just different from yours.  But it's okay I just blow it off and say I love it when you treat me like trash. It's better that you talk Bad about me then not talk to me at all. Are your jokes still funny? They were never funny to me.  I hide all of my Scars with an I'm fine. It's hard to fight against a invincible enemy, Especially when it yourself. I often questioned why I exist. I only like so I did not have to see the disappointment in your eyes. I'm tired of yelling I'm tired of crying I'm tired of being sad I'm tired of pretending I'm tired of being alone. I'm tired of needing help. I'm tired of being different.  I'm tired of feeling worthless. I'm tired of feeling empty inside.  I'm tired of wishing I could start all over.   I'm tired of Jamie and the life I will never have. But most of all I'm tired of being tired.  Please give me a favor. Save me from myself.

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