The Hotline

"Do you think anyone would miss me?" A deep,raspy voice comes on the line, before I even say my name."Do you think anyone would care? If I pull the trigger of this gun, who would miss me?" I am startled by the sound of a gun being loaded. I am about to respond, when suddenly I hear a shot go off.

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13. Chapter Thirteen

My anxiety attacks started when I was around seven. Tommy and I were playing around inside the house, as usual. In my house there's a door which used to lead into what used to be a room. When my mum remodeled, the room was closed off to make a larger living area. Behind the door is about a foot of space then there's a wall. Tommy had come up with the idea that playing hide and seek would be the next game we would play. I immediately thought of hiding in that gap, running while Tommy counted. 

When I got inside the door I started feeling the claustrophobia right away. The door was so close to my body that it got stuck and I couldn't get out. All i remember is crying hysterically and wanting to die. My mum eventually found me, me in a state of pure chaos. The hysterics went away that night, but my case of anxiety was born.

Tommy was always there when i got an attack, always calming me down. He would run to my room as I screamed my head off and cried for no reason, overwhelmed by absolutely nothing. Oddly enough the attacks subsided after mum's death. I think it was the fact that I knew that I had to grow up out of the phase.

The same feeling that I used to get whenever I got an attack was the feeling was rushing through my body as I dropped the note and began to freak out. I however knew that I couldn't let Lexi see me in this state so I ran to my room and shut the door. The anxiety attack was coming, and it was coming hard. My breathing was irregular and my vision was blurry.

Suddenly I noticed something. In my hand I still had the letter gripped as tight as ever, and I could hear Tommy's words in my head. 

"Youre strong."

Suddenly my anxiety was gone and inside all I felt was repulsion. 

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It is around six in the evening when i hear the front door open. I am sat on the couch in the Tv room still gripping Tommy's letter. I sent Lexi upstairs a while ago, she didn't argue when she saw my face full of rage. I get up, and turn around to face my dad whilst he places his phone in his suit pocket.

 

"What's this ?" I say to him.

 

"I missed you too Maddy." He chuckles setting down his suitcases.

 

"What is this." I ask once again not breaking my gaze from him. 

 

He takes the letter from my hand and looks it over, his smile fading away. 

"Where did you find this?" He asks me looking down. 

 

"Are you serious?!" I yell at him.

 

"What's going on?" Lex says walking down the stairs.

 

"Nothing. Go back to your room." my dad say blankly 

 

"NO! Tell her! Tell her how you were the reason Tommy killed himself! Go ahead tell her" I yell as the tears stream down my face 

 

 

"Three Year! You tortured him to death for three damn years!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

 

"Maddy.."

 

"NO! DON'T! Youre disgusting, he was your only son! How could you hide this from me?" My breathing is beginning to be irregular again.

 

"What are you talking about?!" I hear Lexi yell, but I ignore her.

 

I throw the letter at my dad's feet and continue talking again. "You told me he didn't leave anything! You had no right to hide that! Since you're so religious did you know that lying is a sin too! I'm pretty sure the bible doesn't condone torturing someone either!" Iam exhausted but the tears continue to stream. My dad just stands there not saying a word. I reach down and pick up the letter once again. I look at Lexi who has tears in her eyes and turn around again.

 

 

I run out of the house with my phone and keys to the office with all intention to spend the night. Just as I am about to cross the street, tears still coming it of my eyes, my phone begins to ring. 

 

"Hey Maddy!" Harry exclaims. 

 

I sniffle before I answer, " Hey." 

 

"What's wrong!" Harry speaks loudly.

 

"Nothi-" I can't finish my sentence before I am drowned by my tears.  I fall to the ground my back against a brick wall. 

 

"I'm coming to get you ! Where are you?" He yells concern flooding his voice. 

 

"I- I'm across my house. Please hurry." I say breathlessly. 

 

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"I don't know what to do! She wont stop crying!" I hear Harry's voice crack as he talks to the others in the living room. 

 

Harry picked me up and drove me to his building, and we walked into Niall's flat me a complete mess. I had heard everyone yelling if I was okay, but I had quickly darted to the closest room.

 

I heard the door open, and tried to stop crying but failed.

 

"Babe, please tell me whats wrong. I can't help you if you don't tell me whats wrong." I hear Harry say, mimicking the exact words I said when he came into the office and punched a hole in my wall. 

 

I look up and see Harry's face full of dispar. Suddenly in the dark of the room, whom I belive belongs to Niall, I see howbeautiful Harry is. His prominent jaw line and gorgeous eyes, but nothing more amazing than his curls. I am mesmerizedby his appearance I don't notice that I have stopped crying.

 

"Please tell me what happened." He ask again.

 

And I tell him.

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I have only seen two men in my life cry, and that was Tommy when he broke his arm and David the day he left for America.

But now in front of me was as Harry tears pour from his eyes. I felt so guilty and I didn't know why.

 

"Maddy, I cant- I don't.." Harry struggles to find his words so I embrace him tightly and he holds me even tighter. And nothing feels better.

 

"What was that for?" He asks smiling.

 

"I think you needed something happy after what I told you."

 

"Maddy, why didn't you tell me about Tommy before?" 

 

"You didn't need anymore problems in your life. Youve only just met me."

 

"But- I like-" The door of the room opening interrupts what Harry is about to say and I see the group come into the room turning the light on.

 

"I guess I should explain." I mumble to them, the nod expectantly 

 

And I do. And they listen intently, and for now I have seen seven people in my life cry.

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