It Would Be Ok

*I felt the wind pick up and heard the leaves rusell in the force. It would be ok.*
Jai and Andrew thought they would be together forever but things dont always happen the way you plan. boy/boy

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1. It would be ok

 

  Sitting on the tilled floor in the guys bathroom in school wasnt fun, it smelled. Really bad like piss and cigarette smoke. Why was I sitting in here? Because I was a wimp. I was ok with that but I was getting tired of it, no one wants to be teased, no one wants to to made to feel like there was something wrong with them. But that was how I was feeling. See it started back in 6th grade, when I realized I was gay. I had always felt weird about it because back in 4th grade we had a school Christmas dance thing and all my guy friends couldnt wait for it because maybe a girl would wear at least a cute little skirt with stockings or maybe a dress. It was kid stuff and it was stupid but back then it wasnt. I didnt care about what the girls would wear and I found myself secretly looking at only the other boys. I didnt think much about it, the night of the dance my mom asked which girl I would ask to dance and when I didnt give a response she asked if I cared at all about it and I said no. She said it was probably because I was still too young and thats what I always thought. Im 17 in my 11th yr of school now and the teasing has gotten alot worse, no more 6th grade little notes being pasted to you saying that no one would play with you at recess. I used to have a best friend but that all went down hill when I told Jeremy I was gay and might of had a crush on him, which wasnt the best idea but I was young. He told everyone and was and still is the number one person who bullies me.  I was bored just sitting here my phone had just gone dead from playing doddle jump, and I was missing my chem class too. Just when I thought this situation couldnt get any worse, I mean I was crashed into the bathroom by a couple football players and in my chance to escape I got punched in the lip. It hurt and was still bleeding but I just didnt feel like getting up to clean it. What the point if I was just going to get beat up again? I heard the bathroom door open and close and I held my breath. I saw familiar shoes walk up to the stall door and knock. "Jai?" He whispered. "You in there?" I sat up a little to unlatch the lock. He pushed it open "What are you doing on the floor?" he trailed off as he saw what had happen to my lip. He sighed. "Again? Come on Ill help you clean up." He said grabbing my arm to pull me up. We stopped at the sink and he got ripped a piece of paper towel off and wet it. As he was dapping my lip I couldnt help admire my boyfriend. Yes I had one, and that only added more to mine and his problems. But I wouldnt give him up for anything, if I had him I was fine with being gay. He really was beautiful and mine. Jai and Andrew. Andrew and Jai. I liked our name together, they sounded right. He looked up now feeling my eyes on his face and smiled. I loved when he smiled, it makes little crinkles by his eyes. "What? Something on my face?" He asked. He put the paper towel down and I took a quick glance in the mirror to see it blood free. "No" I said " I just enjoy looking at you." He blushed this time. I also loved when he blushed because when he does his whole face gets red. I thought it was cute, he thought it was ugly. He took a step forward and whispered that I shut up. I was about to retort asking how he was going to shut me up when I  felt his lips on mine. My mind went blank. He pressed him lips against mine but they didnt move,I could taste his hot air on the back of my throat and I liked it. I shivered and I felt his lips pull into a smile.

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*Andrew pov*

I couldnt believe it. I wouldnt. Jai couldnt be dead. My mom was a liar. She had said on the way home from school he had died in an car accident. It wasnt fair,he wasnt suppose to be gone.

*3 days later*

Tying my tie and gazing in the mirror I really hated my life right now. My mom had just left to go help Jai's parents set up at the house for the after burial dinner thing, so I had at least 15 minuets til I had to leave. I didnt want to go, I knew I should it would be the last time I would see his body before he got put under ground. But I didnt want to see him laying in the casket. Pale white, lips cold, eyes shut like he was sleeping and I guess he was but the thing is when you go to bed you almost always wake up but he wouldnt. I didnt want to see his new bed be buried with him in it. I didnt want it to be real. I looked at myself in the mirror red eyed and bags under my eyes. I hadnt gotten a good amount of sleep over the past couple of days and my eyes just wouldnt go dry. I looked away, and took a deep breath, it hurt. Literally. Since he......... went away my chest just didnt feel right. Not like heart broken but real pain. I said this to my mom and she said it was probably just something my body does for some reason when Im really sad and angry. I looked at the time, it was time I headed out before I would be late. I really didnt want to go. I licked my lips, they were dry and chapped. I decided I wouldnt. I took my cell phone out and flipped it open. It lite up with a picture of him and I. I shut my eyes tight, but the image was tattooed in my mind. It wouldnt go way. I threw my phone on the bed and decided to forget about texting my mom that I wasnt going, she would worry but I couldnt find anything in me to care. Or hopefully she wouldnt notice.

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It was dark out. And well over 3 hrs that the service has been done. So I knew no one would be at the grave. Even though I didnt go to the burial, I wasnt going to not say goodbye. I decided I had to face the truth no matter how much it hurt. Coming into the cemetery I didnt know where his lot was but it was easy to find with the new dirt covering the ground. I read the grave stone. Jai Grint 1995-2012 and below it SON,FRIEND,LOVER it bought the tears that were in my eyes to spill over and rush down my cheeks. I remember all the times we loved. He had the softest fingers, ones that you just couldnt help but want to hold you forever. His lips did wonders, and felt like silk on your body. He had the loveliest eyes that showed all his love, ones that I wouldnt mind melting into while your heart was beating so fast you thought it might jump out of your chest. He is love. He was love. I couldnt say anything,just stood with my eyes closed. I felt the wind pick up and heard the leaves resell in the force. It would be ok.

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Ok, I wrote this for my cousin who is gay. Please if you dont like gay people just ignore this but if you do please comment and tell me how this is. Its a oneshot, I love when people give me ideas, so if you liked this please comment what you would like to read and Ill write it. :)

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