It's Where My Demons Hide (Harry Styles Fanfic)

"I have my demons. We all do. They'll come out sooner or later and now you've seen mine...so if you're gonna go, go!" Harry said in a bitter tone as he sat on the couch with his head in his hands. Did he really want to dismantle everything we have together? Just when I was about to open up to him, before I knew who he really was, he's giving up on us. I stood up and held in my tears. "No, I'm not going anywhere. I can help you fight your demons. WE can fight them with love, by saying there is a tomorrow. We can fight them by demanding people care. We can fight them with resilience. We are all broken and being vulnerable is scary and hard. We hide our demons. We hide things that don’t need to be hidden." I grabbed Harry's hand and held it tightly as his tears fell from his eyes. "Just let me help..." I pleaded as tears fell from my eyes as well. Harry looked down at me and I saw the goodness inside him.
If hate can love, then what is evil? He can love...

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6. Fade Into You

"I want to hold the hand inside you. I want to take a breath that's true. I look to you and I see nothing, I look to you to see the truth. You live your life, you go in shadows. You'll come apart and you'll go blind. Some kind of night into your darkness colors your eyes with what's not there." - Mazzy Star, 'Fade Into You'

 

 

I woke up to see Harry gone. I remember Harry cuddling me before bed after the steamy thing we had last night. I smiled as I stretched as I remember the feeling and I flipped over on my tummy and smiled bigger.

 

I heard the television in the living room from the bedroom. I got up and grabbed the blanket and went in the living room. Harry sat on the couch and I sat next to him and cuddled up on his shoulder. "Morning." he said resting his head on mine. I smiled "Morning, Handsome." Harry kissed my head and chuckled. "You don't have school, like I said you wouldn't." I laughed under my breath and lifted my head up. "I don't believe you. I think you're lying." "What? Why would you say that?" I gave him a look. "Because, I told you if I didn't have any school this morning that we could- or, you could-" Harry gave me a playful confused look. "Could what?" I sighed. "Nothing." I looked back at the television and watched the weather and it was becoming worse outside.

 

I could feel Harry staring at me and  I could feel his hand touch mine. "You sure you want to?" he asked and I looked back. My mind started to race as I knew what he was talking about. "Ye-yeah." Harry got up and pulled me up out of the thick blanket and took my shaking hands and led me to the bedroom.

 

All I could think about was how bad this was going to hurt, or if I'm going to look weird to him being fully naked. He only lifted up my shirt last night to feel me up. So it was nerve wracking to know he'll be seeing my full body exposed. But what I worried about more is the pain. I haven't seen Harry's yet, so I didn't know if Harry was big or not. He never asked if I was a virgin or not...he probably thinks I'm not.

 

Harry closed the door and I walked to the bed and sat there and smiled at  him as he walked towards me. He leaned down and kissed me on the mouth. My whole body started to shake and I felt my stomach start to flip as Harry's hands crept up my shirt and touched my bare sides to take it off slowly. Our kiss was locked in tight and very heated and each time he pulled away for a short second, our moans escaped from our mouths as our eyes shot open to see each others eyes full of lust and desire.

 

Harry pulled me back in and took off his shirt. I bit my lip as I saw him examine my chest down to my stomach. Then, my bra was unclasped and off. I gulped and felt him take it completely and stared at my chest and sighed heavily. He smiled up at me and then took my pants off as I crossed my arms over my chest and held them there. I took my leg out one at a time and wiggled out of my panties and saw Harry toss them on the floor next to us. He looked down and removed my arms. "Stop that." he said and yanked them down to my sides.

 

I bit my lip again as he examined my full naked body and I stood there looking the other way nervously. I looked back over grabbing my other arm and crossing it over my stomach and held onto it. "So beautiful." he drew from his lips so softly. I smiled lightly and watched him walk over to me and stare down at me. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle." he said and took off his shirt revealing his tattoos on his hard torso. "What?"

 

Gentle?

 

"I'll be gentle." he replied. I looked at him and narrowed my eyes. "Umm, I-I-" Harry chuckled. "You're a virgin. I know." he said and undid his belt. I looked the other way kinda embarrassed to say the least. Harry grabbed a hold of me and smiled. "It's ok." I looked to him and I said nothing. I just shook my head. 

 

Was I that obvious?

 

Harry took off his pants and briefs and we hit the bed kissing again, with so much passion though. I had a feeling we were about to make love and not just have sex...I had a feeling it was about to mean something to me and possibly to him. And it scared me more than anything...

Harry pushed himself closer to me and I felt his erection on my thigh then move up my stomach and stay there. I felt his pre cum on my stomach as it throbbed against me and he pushed it harder against us.

 

I then felt Harry grab a hold of his erection and gently rub in through my slit. I moaned out softly as I stared at him doing it. He looked back up at me and furrowed his eyebrows from the pleasure it was giving him. He parted his lips and moaned out and dropped his head.

 

"All he wants is sex from girls." came to my mind as Harry kissed my lips again and "He's trouble." I knew he was danger and yet, I am about to have sex with evil itself in about 2 seconds. Harry pulled us up and he sat on the bed as I was on top. "This is going to be easier. It's gonna be 10 times painful, but it gets over fast." I gulped and was lifted up.

 

I felt myself become full and a pain run through me. "Ow..." I cried softly. Harry held my hips and tried dropping me lower and lower. "Stop..." I said weakly. I didn't like feeling this pain anymore and Harry doing that didn't help. He didn't stop but he kept going and going. "Harry...please. It hurts." I said and Harry lifted his arms over me and I fell on my hands, I felt like I was almost bent over.

 

The pain hurt more than anything I've ever experienced before.

 

He laid me down and then did it that way, it felt a little better, but it still hurt. I wiped my eyes from the tears that fell from the pain and leaned up on my elbows. I saw Harry pumping more and more into me as I cried out more and more. I squeezed my my eyes together and my lips pressed tightly together. I was trying to take it, but it was hurting and throbbing.

 

"Fuck, Harry. It hurts!" I cried. Harry was moaning and groaning. It felt good for him. "You feel so good though, baby. I've never felt someone like this." Even through the pain, I felt myself become even more wet from Harry saying that. "Oh..." I grabbed a hold of his pillow and gripped it. "fuck, baby!" I was starting to feel the pleasure from him now.

 

Harry pumped harder and harder and then stopped. I looked at him lean up and pump himself with his hand.

 

I knew what he was doing and I watched as the white warm liquid hit my stomach. Harry fell on top of me and kissed my neck. "That." he kissed a spot. "was." another "amazing." and another. I huffed and puffed trying to find my breath. "It hurt."

 

"Love hurts." he said and bit my ear gently.

 

Harry eventually pulled me close to him and fell asleep. I watched him sleep as his bare chest rose and he breathed through his nose and out his mouth. His right arm rested underneath his head and his left was wrapped around me. He lips were parted and I could feel his warm breath escape and hit me. His eye lids fluttered and I could tell he was dreaming. His quiffed curls stayed in their place all night. I heard his phone vibrate next to me on the next stand and saw someone's name that read 'Ed'. I looked back at Harry who stayed peacefully asleep. I took his arm off of me gently and looked at the text.

 

'I got the stuff, Haz. Where you want to me up? Shout out to me soon, mate.'

 

Stuff? Was Harry a druggie? Or more? I opened the rest of his texts from other people. Stuff said things like, 'You get the job done?' 'Make sure you don't get caught. They're everywhere.' I gulped as I saw them. But the messages before that were deleted.

 

I got out of bed slowly and carefully not to wake Harry up. I went in the bathroom with his phone and called Ed to see what he meant. He wouldn't know I wasn't Harry. I dialed as I shut the door to the bathroom carefully. It rang and rang until a voice answered, he was also British. "Haz, I'm glad you called. I got the stuff, you wanna meet up?" "What's the stuff?" I asked and bit my lip. "Who's this? Where's Harry?" he asked. "Sleeping. What's he into, please tell me?" and I heard Ed hang up. "Hello?..." there wasn't anyone talking. "Hello?" I pulled the phone from my ear and looked at the words CALL ENDED 00:32. I sighed and dialed again and brought it back up to my ear and heard it ring.

 

 

"Hang up the fucking phone!" I heard Harry's booming voice from behind me.

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