The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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29. Ruby's POV- Chapter 22/23

Chapter 22 & Chapter 23

Ruby's POV

“Babe.” I called to him from the bathroom. I don’t usually call him any pet names but ‘babe’ just slipped out of my mouth and I liked it. It’s been easy the past week ever since we made up. It’s not like we’ve forgotten about it, we’ve acknowledged the big fight but now all we think about from that was how we finally told each other we loved each other. That was all we thought about it.

“Yeah?” He asked as he opened the door without knocking. The towel was wrapped around my body and I was currently putting on cream on my face. 

“Who’s out there?” I asked him, curious about the muffled voices I heard when I was in the shower.

“It’s El and Louis.” He replied and i nodded my head. I stepped away from the mirror and pecked Liam on the lips before walking to his bedroom across the hallway. I left the door open, knowing that he’d follow me in.

“Do you want to grab lunch with them?” I asked him as I got myself dressed.

“Um, I was kind of thinking of visiting Elise today.” He replied as he situated himself on the edge of the bed. I froze in the middle of grabbing my shoes: I didn’t know what to feel but I didn’t want to be angry at him for wanting to go visit her. I mean, she is part of his past and I can’t not let him see her. It’s rude.

“Okay, I’ll go with them and you visit her.” I agreed as I sat on the edge of the bed next to him and pulled on my sandals. 

“I meant I want to visit her with you.” He continued slowly and I could feel his eyes on me; watching my every move; watching my reaction to his suggestion. But I wasn’t annoyed or upset, I just wondered if he really thought this over because I did not want to intrude. So instead, I pursed my lips and fixed up my dress then nodded my head in response to his suggestion.

“Yeah, I’ll go with you.” i clarified.

“Are you sure?” He asked. “Because you don’t have to, I’m not forcing you to.”

I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m sure. I’m glad you’re letting me see this.”

He nodded his head then walked out. I started to do my hair and make up to try and calm down the nerves building up inside of me. I have no idea what to expect when I see him with her. I don’t even know what she looks like. Liam pretty much destroyed all evidence of her existing in his life except for his memories but you can’t exactly destroy your memories  so that’s all he has left. I took a deep breath when I finished pampering myself then walked out with my bag.

“Hey!” I said as soon as I walked into the living room to find Eleanor and Louis on Liam’s couch with his netflix on. Louis had a packet of chips next to him.

“Hey!” Eleanor said and gave me a hug. I gave Louis a hug as well and we talked for a bit as I asked about their trip to Doncaster. Then I told them goodbye and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl on Liam’s kitchen counter. 

It was silent on the way to the hospital with neither of us saying a word but with our hands connected. There wasn’t any awkward air, it was just quiet and I took the opportunity to look around because I never really did look around on the way to the hospital. As soon as Liam and I walked through the hospital doors, someone called his name out and i knew that it was Martha, a middle aged woman who always greeted me whenever I visited my brother.

“Hello, Martha.” Liam greeted with a smile.

“You haven’t been here in a while.” Martha stated and I tried with all my might to not show how surprised I was. I didn’t realise that he stopped visiting her because I knew that he used to visit her every day then he changed it to every week. I honestly didn’t know he stopped. I was proud of him because i knew how much he needed to know that he didn’t need Elise and he’s doing just that, not needing Elise.

“Didn’t feel like I had much of a reason to anymore.” Liam replied and his answer shocked me ever more but I didn’t have long to think over it because Martha caught sight of me. “Oh, Ruby. Is this your fortnightly visit? You usually don’t come until fridays.”

I shook my head as I smiled at her. “No, I’m actually here with Liam.”

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Are you two togetjer? Now that is news.”

I smiled as Liam chuckled and I gripped his hand tightly. “Yeah, we are.” Liam confirmed.

“How long?” She asked. I was about to reply but Liam beat me to it.

“Four months next week.” He answered. This guy sure surprises me each time he opens his mouth.

“Well, that’s a first; the guy knowing how long.” Martha chuckled and I suppressed a prideful smile of having the best boyfriend in the world. “Well, I won’t keep you. She’s still in the same room and just to let you know,” she leaned in closer to Liam, “the doctor said that she’s been looking positive for the past week.”

I didn’t know whether to feel happy that she could wake up any moment and finally give Liam the answers he needed or to feel jealous that Liam’s ex-girlfriend is going to wake up soon. 

“Oh, wow. Okay, thanks Martha.” Liam said and she gave us a smile and a wave. Liam didn’t look happy but he didn’t look sad about it, he looked like the information that Martha gave him was like information about the weather. He wasn’t surprised, he didn’t show any emotion about it. But I know on the inside he’s trying to decide exactly how he feels like I’m trying to decide how I feel about it.

We weaved through the hallways until we got to the corridor in which I bumped into Liam then to the door that I bumped into Liam the second time. I felt Liam’s eyes on me briefly but I wasn’t looking at him, I was looking at the door, ready to see the part of Liam’s past that haunted him the most. I heard Liam take a deep breath and opened the door. 

Her room looked almost exactly like Ryder’s room that was at the end of this hallway. They had the same colour walls, white, the same IV hooked to their right arm, the same heart monitor that beeped monotonously with every few beats of their heart, the same hospital gown, the same bed, the same motionless, comatose body except the biggest difference between them both was the fact that Elise’s eyes were open. It was frightening, yet fascinating at the same time. How could she still be in a come if her eyes are open like she’s awake?

“Why are her eyes open?” I whispered as if I was afraid that I’d wake Elise up if I spoke any louder.

“The doctors told me that her mind is too scared to be lucid. Like her body is awake but her mind is still in its comatose state..” He said and I nodded in wonder. Then he added, “you don’t have to whisper, by the way.”

I smiled ruefully before walking to a chair on the side of the room. Liam sat down on the chair beside the bed as he looked over Elise. I did the same. She had brown hair with hints of blonde here and there, her hazel eyes stared straight up at the ceiling but even from here I could see that they weren’t in this moment. I felt Liam’s eyes move over to mine but I couldn’t look away from Elise. All I could think was how could she look so innocent when she did the worst thing anyone could do to someone. I mean, she looks like the most nicest person you could ever come across. How was it possible for her to do that to him?

“Hey, Elise.” Liam said and I could tell that he felt awkward to talk to her. I knew I shouldn’t have came with him, he wouldn’t be able to talk to her normally. “Well, it’s been a little over a month since I’ve seen you. And I’m, uh, brought Ruby with me. I wanted to introduce her to you.” For a moment, I froze. I felt like i was really going to meet her despite her state. Liam held his hand out for me and I took it with no hesitation and sat on his lap. “Elise, this is Ruby and Ruby this is Elise.”

“Hi, Elise.” I said in a small voice. I looked at Liam hesitantly, unsure of what to do next but he just gave me a reassuring smile and kissed my cheek.

“Ruby’s really important to me, Elise. You see, I was the absolute worse when you did what you did. I was angry ninety percent of the tim and i was just not myself. I was angry at you for so long. For hurting me and my friends’ for betraying me; for lying. Then I met Ruby and my god, she changed my life.” He started to say. 

My eyes grew wider and wider with every word he said. I honestly did not expect that this visit would be about me. I didn’t even know that he thought I changed his life. I thought he was the one who changed mine.

“Ever since she bumped into me, she was all I could think about and it distracted me from you. She made me less angry, she made me laugh and smile. She made me feel alive again.” I couldn’t take my eyes off him as he kept talking but he wasn’t look at me, he was looking at Elise as he spoke the words that made my heart melt.

“I brought her her with me to tell you that I’m not angry anymore and I’m over it. I’ve moved on from what you did and it’s all thanks to Ruby. I love her more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life. i just wanted to tell you that.” He finished.

I could not believe that he actually said that about me to her. I just couldn’t. And when he turned to look at me, I knew that the disbelief was etched so clearly on my face and jesus christ, his words made me love him so much more. He beamed at me, his smile stretching so wide that it made my cheeks hurt. 

“Liam-” I started to say even though I didn’t exactly know what to say but I was interrupted anyway but a groan. We both looked at the bed and saw that Elise’s once wide open eyes were closed and her eyebrows furrowed and it made me feel better to know that she’s showing emotion. I watched as her eyebrows knitted together even more as if she’s struggling and it almost hurt me to watch her struggle. Finally her eyes opened and they scanned the room without moving her head. 

“Ugh.” She groaned as her hands moved away from her sides and onto her stomach then they went limp as if she didn’t have the energy to keep moving them. Then her eyes moved towards Liam and I.

It went so quiet that I could’ve heard a pin drop. Elise kept her eyes on Liam whose expression stayed void, giving none of his emotions away and I felt like the biggest intruder because Liam needs his answers and I shouldn’t be here listening to them. It’s between them not me.

 

Liam’s eyes moved around the room, avoiding Elise with everything he had then they landed on me and our eyes connected. I saw at least five different emotions flash through his eyes including anger, relief and confusion. But I could also tell that he was reading my mind and he knew that I wanted to leave to give them their privacy.

“I’m going to get a doctor.” i whispered loud enough for Elise and Liam to hear, not once looking away from the eyes that held mine. Liam nodded his head in a way that would make everyone think he was thanking me but really, he didn’t want me to leave at all. I turned away before i gave in to his pleading eyes and stood up and turned to Elise. “It’s nice to know you finally woke up.” I said to her then I smiled and walked out of the room, feeling Liam’s eyes on me.

I closed the door and leaned against it. I wasn’t going to get a doctor now, they need at least fifteen minutes of privacy so Liam could finally get his answers. So I walked away from the door and down the hallway to Ryder’s room. I quietly slipped through the door as if he was sleeping and he was going to wake up soon. I think I put the thought of him sleeping instead of in a coma in my head too many times and I’ve acted like it for so long that for a moment I do think he is sleeping and it isn’t my fault that he’s in here. But then the harsh reality comes back and I’m reminded of my hands grabbing the wheel and the car flipping over and Ryder not waking up.

Jesus, I miss my brother. 

“Oh, Ryder.” I sighed. “A lot has happened since I last saw you.” 

Usually when I visited him, I’d start babbling about how I still blame myself and I’d always start crying but this time was different. Liam’s words made me rethink everything. If he can get over the betrayal and the hurt then I can stop blaming myself because deep down I know Ryder would never let me blame myself for what I did. 

“Let me tell you what’s been happening.” i said and I launched into the story of how my stupid choices almost ruined a perfect relationship. Whenever I think about what I’ve done, I always have half a mind to bash myself up and if it wasn’t suicidal, I would’ve been glad to kill myself because that’s how stupid I was. But of course, I’m not suicidal or anything but I’m still pretty pissed off at myself for doing that to Liam.

When ten minutes passed and I finally finished my story, I decided to go find a doctor for Elise’s sake. I said goodbye to Ryder and went along the hallways. I finally met up with a doctor and I told him how Elise Cozack was awake. He knew exactly who she was and so I took him to her room. I walked deliberately slowly, hoping that we don’t walk in at the wrong moment. 

I knocked on the door once then opened it. “I, uh, got the doctor. i hope I didn’t interrupt anything.” I told them. Upon entering the room, I was met with a calm Liam except I knew by the fading red of his face that he was angry at one point. I also noticed how Elise had a few tears in her eyes and some running down her cheeks that she quickly wiped away before the doctor came into full view.

“So, you’re finally awake after almost nine months. Welcome. Let’s just do a quick check up.” The doctor announced, completely oblivious to what I knew happened in here.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, I remember everything. I got stabbed in the stomach.” She recounted. I could still see the unshed tears in her eyes.

“Good, good. Can you feel your limbs? Is there any pain if you move them?” The doctor continued.

“They’re numb but I can move them.” he replied.

“That’s expected. You will have to go to physical therapy three times a week to get your body working normally. You’ve been immobile for almost nine months.” He told her and she nodded in understanding.

“Well, your heart rates are fine, your breathing is good and your blood pressure is normal. You’re just going to have to stay in the hospital for another month or so, so we can monitor you and help you recover to your best.” He said.

“Okay, thank you.” She smiled and the doctor nodded then leaving the room. Once he was gone, Elise turned to look at me.

“Can I talk to Ruby alone for a bit, Liam?” Elise asked. I was surprised that she wanted to speak to me. I didn’t expect her to want to and I was confused as to what we could possibly talk about.

“Why?” Liam questioned.

“I just need to talk to her. Please, Liam.” She begged. Liam looked at me questioningly and I nodded.

“It’s fine.” I promised. “We’ll be fine.”

He sighed then said, “Okay.” He bent down to give me a kiss but I pulled back and shook my head. I didn’t want to kiss him in front of Elise, it’s rude. He sighed and walked out after glancing at Elise for a brief second. Once the door shut behind him, I went to sit on the chair, Liam was sitting in moments ago.

“Liam loves you.” She stated.

“Where are you going with this?” I asked her, skeptically.

“I just have to know if you feel the same.” She told me. It surprised me that she was protective of the person she betrayed.

“Of course I feel the same. I love him more than anything.” I replied.

“Let me tell you something,” Elise started, “when I was thirteen, my parents left me. I don’t know why they did but they just left. Before that, we were the happiest family. They loved me and I loved them. We would always go road tripping during the holidays and we’d always have a lot of fun. The night before they left, we were at Manly and they took me to see fireworks that happened every once in a while and when they finished they said to me, ‘Elise, we love you more than anything. Don’t ever forget that.’ Then the next day, I woke up in my aunty’s house and when I asked her where my parents were all, she said was ‘they love you, sweatpea,’ and that was it.” My eyes started to tear up at her story. I’ve got a soft heart and any heartbreaking story such as hers would make me cry in an instant. 

“What I’m trying to get at is no matter how many times I was told that they loved me, there’s still the fact that they abandoned me. Please don’t ever abandon Liam. You could tell me, him and everyone how much you love him but that doesn’t mean you won’t abandon him. I abandoned him in more ways than one and it’s killed me, it still does. I beg you, Ruby, don’t ever do that to him.” She told me. It surprised me that she was being brutally honest with me and that she wasn’t even asking, she was begging. 

“I won’t ever, Elise.” I promised her as I wiped away a few lone tears.

She took a deep breath and smiled. “Thank you.”

“Did you ever love him?” I asked.

“No, I didn’t love him but I liked him a lot. And now he’ll forever be the one that got away.” She replied. We went silent after a while then she spoke again. “Ruby, when you know the right time, can you please tell him exactly how I felt? I know it’s too much to ask from you since I’m his ex-girlfriend and you’re his actual girlfriend. But i need him to know because I know he doesn’t believe when I say it even though he says he does. I know that he thinks everything I say is a total lie. But now that i’ve had a near death experience for something that totally wasn’t worth it, I feel like I need to start telling the truth. So could you pleas tell him that I really did like him and that if I got to him before Sam got to me, a lot of things would be different.”

I hesitated for a second and thought about that. If she really did get to Liam before Sam got to her, would they be together now? That question whirled around me head. Would I have never met the guy I’m completely in love with if it weren’t for her? And what if I told him now? Would he go back to her? my heart started to pick up its pace as I thought about it. 

“Oh, no, Ruby.” Elise said. My eyes snapped back to hers and she looked a little dismayed. “That’s not what I meant. I have no intention of stealing your man, I promise. You both love each other inexplicably and i don’t want to ruin that. You two remind me of... of how my parents used to look at each other. I’m just asking you to tell him when you feel like you can so it doesn’t have to be now.” She paused. “Actually if you don’t feel comfortable in telling him that, you can just tell him about what I told you and maybe that will help me get back into his good books.”

I smiled and nodded to her request. I’ll do it for her, she just wanted forgiveness just like how I wanted forgiveness from Liam and how I want forgiveness from Ryder and I’ll be damned if she doesn’t get it. Everyone deserves forgiveness.

“Thank you.” Elise smiled. “We should probably bring him now before he pulls his hair out in worry.”

I laughed a little and opened up the door and there was Liam. He stopped his pacing abruptly and looked at the both of us. I knew that my eyes were slightly puffy from my crying but I gave him a reassuring smile so he knows that it wasn’t anything he should be worried about.

“So can I know what happened?” He asked. I glanced at Elise and gave her a small smile then turned back to Liam and shook my head.

“Not yet.” I told him. He sighed and took my word for it.

“Okay, then. Well, Elise, we’re going to go. I’ll tell the rest of them that you’re awake. I’m pretty sure Ali’s going to want to visit you, despite what you did to her, you were still her friend.” Liam told her. I almost wanted to slap him for being insensitive to her feelings once I saw the tears well up in her eyes. But I didn’t say anything because I knew she wouldn’t want me to.

“Bye, Elise.” I said, walking up to her and hugging her. I could tell Liam was getting more confused by the second. Elise gave me a grateful smile when I pulled away.

“Bye.” She said to the both of us and we left her room.

“Why can’t I know what you spoke about?” He asked as he grabbed my hand, running his thumb in circles.

“I promised her I wouldn’t tell you what she said until it’s time.” I answered.

“And when is it time?” He asked.

I just smiled at him in a slightly secretive way. “I’ll know when.” I stood up on the tips of my toes and kissed his cheek to reassure him it wasn’t anything bad. “Just be patient.”

He nodded even though I could tell that his curiousity was eating at his insides but I couldn’t tell him what we spoke about. i promised her I wouldn’t tell him until I knew when. I’m not exactly sure when when is but I have a feeling it won’t be too far away.

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