The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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9. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

 

I cried for more than an hour on her shoulder. We walked to my room so I could I explain but I couldn't talk. I ended up bursting into tears again. Ruby never once complained, she was patient and kind. She comforted me the whole time. 

When my eyes ran dry I sat up properly. I sniffed and wiped away the tears. I looked to her, a little embarrassed that I cried for a long time. 

"Are you done?" She didn't say it in a mocking way. She asked genuinely. 

I nodded my head. "Yeah, sorry about that."

"It's fine." She said with a wave of her hand. 

"Thanks for coming." I said to her after a while. 

"It's fine. I was a little worried though." She answered. 

"What do you mean?" I asked her, curiously. She turned to me and kicked off her shoes. She sat indian style on the bed. 

"Well, first off when my phone rang I thought 'hey, Liam's calling' but then it wasn't you who spoke. It was Zayn and all he said was 'Liam needs you right now' and I'm like what? So he's like 'he'll explain just get to his apartment' and he gave me the address. So I come down to see a guy standing at your door. He waved the phone in his hand to me and said he was Zayn. That was when I heard the pounding of the door. So I burst open and there you were driving your fist into the wall so many times and so fast that I couldn't exactly see you swing. Then you turned around and your face... I've never seen so much pain and sorrow and anger in someone's face. It worried me so much." She answered. My heart thudded lightly in my chest. She cared about me. But what worried me most was that maybe she only cared in a friendly way. 

"I'm sorry." I apologised she sighed and nodded her head. I yawned, the pounding of my head started to really affect me. I shut my eyes tightly then opened them. I tried my hardest to be unaffected by the pounding. 

"Maybe you should sleep on it. You obviously drank a lot, I'll just come back later or tomorrow." She said as she slipped off my bed and reached for her shoes. 

"Can you stay?" I asked her, my voice quiet to my own ears. 

She looked up at me with shocked wide eyes. That was when I realised how stupid my request was. I quickly shook my head at how absurd it was. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't..." I couldn't think of an excuse. I just wanted her there for some reason. 

"No it's okay." She said in a small voice. "Um, okay, I'll stay."

My eyes widened. "Are you sure? I mean you don't have to. I don't really know what I asked."

"No, it really is okay, Liam." She said with a smile. I sighed in relief. I got off the foot of the bed and walked to the top and pulled the covers off and laid down. I looked up at her to find her biting her lip like she was thinking hard about something. 

"I won't bite." I joked. Her eyes snapped to mine and she let out a small laugh. She walked on the other side and crept beside me. 

"I know this is the most weirdest thing to ask of you seeming as we hardly know each other but..." I started but she silence my by putting a finger on my lips. 

"It's fine." She whispered and turned over onto her side, her back face me. I stayed on my back and stared at the ceiling, waiting for the sleep to envelope me. 

 

When I finally woke up, I realised that I wasn't alone in the room. I could hear soft delicate breathing and a warm body underneath my arm and pressed up against mine. I saw the bright red hair of Ruby just in front of me. 

I looked around trying to remember what exactly happened. My head pounded hard and the light hurt my eyes. I sat up on the bed and rubbed my eyes. Then I remembered what happened in the morning. The 10 bottles or so of alcohol I swallowed, the trashed apartment, the wholes in the wall and Ruby coming over then us falling asleep together. 

"Liam?" She muttered, her eyes still shut. 

"Yeah?" I asked, twisting over and leaning on my elbow. 

She just grunted then rolled onto her stomach. I just chuckled. Then all of a sudden she rolled off the side of the bed. Her head popped up from the side with a groggy, disoriented expression. I laughed so hard that I rolled off the bed as well. She looked adorable but it all just was hilarious. 

"Don't laugh at me!" She yelled as she lobbed a pillow towards me head across the bed with a huge smile.

I stood up clutching my stomach, laugh so hard. "I'm sorry- I just- okay- i'm sorry." She threw another pillow as she laughed as hard as I did. 

I fell back down on to the bed still laugh and she jumped on top of me. She kept slapping me, yelling to shut up but I couldn't. Her face was still etched into my mind when she rolled off. 

"Okay, okay. I'll stop." I said, grinning as I stopped her hands from hitting me again. 

"Good." She grinned, unmoving. 

I smiled softly at her and reached up to brush a strand of her of her face. "It was her birthday today." I murmured, unintentionally. 

Her eyes flashed serious and she got off me, sitting next to me with her body facing towards me. "What?"

"I'll tell you why I acted like the hulk." I told her and she nodded, telling me to continue on. "Last year, around september-ish, the boys and I were in Australia. That was how we met Harry’s girlfriend Ali and Niall’s girlfriend Georgia and Jenna and Jake. I also met a girl, her name was Elise. She was my girlfriend from Australia to four months ago. I loved her, I really did. I mean we only just met but she was an amazing girl. So there was us as a band, Ali, Jenna and her boyfriend Jake, Jake’s sister Georgia and Elise.

Anyway while we were there Ali was with Louis and she had this abusive psycho boyfriend that she and Louis put back in jail. Turns out he had a psycho girlfriend named Sam. She stalked Ali and Louis as well. She threatened the both of them. We all thought it was over when Ali and all that moved to Paris. Turns out while they were at Paris, we were there too. This part was confusing because I wasn’t really part of it. But Sam kidnapped both Ali and Louis and apparently someone in our gang was  helping Sam out. 

Turns out that was Elise and I went into denial for a bit. But then I believed it all when Niall made me listen to this recording he made when they were trying to get them back. It was of her saying she was acting and all, that none of it was real. That what we had wasn’t real. So while they were getting Ali and Louis back, there was this whole fight scene and Elise got shot in the stomach. And well, she’s in hospital now. She’s... not exactly in a coma, but she is. Like everything is shut off but her eyes open every now and then. The doctors said it’s some sort of psychology state or something or the other.”

I looked to see her expression. Her eyebrows were knitted together as she processed the information I gave her. It was pretty messed up, anyone can say that. But I guess she doesn’t exactly understand because I’m leaving out a big chunk of it. I didn’t explain why I was a mess today.

“The reason why I was like that today was because it’s her birthday. I had everything planned for her. She told me it was the one thing she wished. And I guess the real reason for me being crazy was because I don’t know if what she told me was the truth. i spent a whole month wondering if everything she told me was a lie. If when she told me her likes and dislikes and pet peeves, if those were lies too. I just wonder if anything she told me was the truth.” I finished. She leaned over and wrapped her arms around my neck. I wrapped mine around her tight body and clutched her tightly. I was tear-dry but I knew if I could still cry I would’ve.

“Oh, Liam.” She breathed in my ear.

“Yeah, I guess I haven’t really let go of her if I visited her everyday.” I said a we pulled away. 

“That’s okay. I could tell that you really loved her and that you’re just really confused.” She answered and I nodded my head in agreement.

“I’ll tell you why I go to the hospital.” She suddenly whispered out of nowhere. 

I shook my head. “You don’t have to. I don’t expect you to tell me.”

“No, I-I want to.” She stuttered. I just waited for her to tell me. “I have a twin brother.” She confessed. My eyebrows raised in surprise. I only knew of one and that was Wes. I didn’t know she had another one.

“Yeah, Wes isn’t the only brother I have. In fact, I have an older sister too and her name’s Hannah. She’s getting married in a few months. Anyway, not the point.” I had to bite back a smile when she rambled on. She’s so... Ruby. “So, I have a twin and his name is Ryder. He’s currently in a coma. And he’s like that because of me. It was all my fault. A few days before, I caught my boyfriend cheating on me. I stayed in my room for days, crying and crying and crying. Until finally Ryder had enough and forced me to go out.

So we were driving and we got into an argument. I wanted to go back and he wanted to keep going saying it was for my own good. And well, I was stupid and sad and upset and all I wanted was to go back. So I grabbed the steering wheel, forcing him to turn around but he jerked it back and the car ended up flipping and it flipped so many times I couldn’t count.” Her voice was really low and I could see the tears in her eyes. “He hit his head, a lot. Now he’s in a coma. And it’s all my fault. If only I just listened to him. If only I just kept my hands to myself. I just... Ryder was my best friend. I loved my brother. And I can’t believe I did that to him.”

She started to cry. The tears leaked out of her eyes. I couldn’t just watch her cry in front of me so I pulled her onto my lap and hugged her tightly. She sobbed into my chest repeating she was to blame and it was all her fault. I kept telling her it wasn’t, that it could’ve happened to anybody. 

After a few more minutes of her crying she finally stopped but she didn’t move from where she was. She just looked up to me with a grateful smile.

“I guess we’re both just really messed up.” She joked through a fresh wave of tears.

“I guess so.” I murmured.

“Do you miss her?” She asked suddenly, looking into my eyes.

“I really don’t know. Like, i did at first. I mean, I loved her. No matter how many times I said I hated her, I actually loved her. I guess I do miss her in a way.” I answered truthfully.

“Do you still visit her?” She asked.

“Everyday.” I told her.

“I wanted to visit Ryder everyday but I have uni in Manchester and his hospital is here in London and I don’t want to move him. So, I only visit him once a week. I might be moving here though and transfer universities just to be closer to him.” She told me.

“It’s your decision.” I said and she smiled. “If you do move, I’ll help you pack and unpack.”

“Thank you.” She said, kissing my lightly on the cheek. My heart fluttered slightly at the touch and I smiled back at her.

“You’re welcome.” 

 

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A/N

 

For all of you who never read Chasing The Sun, there’s your brief summary of it. 

 

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Mwahbebssssssss

 

-Winona

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