The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

 

I sat down on the plastic chair on a thursday morning. I can feel myself getting better. Especially whenever I think of Ruby again. She makes me feel warm inside. Unlike now, as I'm looking at Elise, I feel dull and cold. However every time I say to myself that Ruby makes me feel good, i start to feel guilt and shame. It's like Elise has a hold on me and I just can't get away. 

"I know I've said this a lot of times but I feel better now. Now that I've met Ruby. And I still feel bad for saying this. Especially how I hardly know her apart from the fact that she likes our music and she always comes to visit someone in the hospital. I have a feeling that she only comes once a week. That's better than me, I come every day. I've come everyday for the past three and a half months." I said to her. 

"I finally went out and spoke to the gang last night. Did you know that? Yeah, we all had dinner at Niall's. I talked to them and I even laughed. They all stared at me when I actually did but Ali broke the ice. She came up to me and told me how proud she was that I'm getting better. 

And I suppose I am, right? I'm getting really better. I smile a little more, not as much but a little more. I laugh more often and I actually socialise now. Everyone still treats me like an egg though. Like I'm going to crack in a second. I don't blame them to be honest. I am pretty fragile. 

I still miss you, you know. No matter how much I say I hate you or how much you anger me, I still miss you. I loved you. You were amazing to me. You made me laugh a lot and smile a lot. You were just great. But I really don't know if that's you. I guess it doesn't really matter anymore. They're just memories now."

I looked at her. I noticed that her hair grew. It's not at her shoulders anymore, it's longer than that, almost down to her elbows. She's really not that different, appearance wise. But if she wakes up, will she still be that bright girl I fell in love with? Or the cold calculating bitch I heard in the recording? 

I got up out of my seat and left the room. I kind of hoped that I would bump into Ruby again. But she wasn't there so I continued to walk out the building. 

It was too early to go home, only noon. So I decided to take a walk in the park. It was a fine spring day. A cloudless sky with the sun shining bright. It wasn't hot but it wasn't cold. I walked down the pathways in the centre of the park. There were little kids on bikes, adults jogging and families on picnic rugs. 

As I walked I caught sight of Ruby heading my way. I smiled to myself slightly and walked straight to her. For some reason, I wanted to literally bump into her. I felt like it was a tradition of ours, literally bumping into each other. So i walked directly in front of her with my head down. She had her head down as well, looking at something on her phone. My hands were in my pockets and I walked idly, putting on a facade. 

"Oh!" We gasped as we both jumped back in surprise. It actually was a surprise to me because I didn't expect to bump into her so soon. 

"Hi." I smiled sheepishly. 

"Hello to you too." She laughed. "Fancy seeing you here."

"Could say the same for you." I grinned. 

"You look better." She noted after a few seconds' silence. 

"I feel better." I answered truthfully. 

"You know, this is actually getting way out of hand." She commented. 

"What is?" I asked. 

"Us bumping into each other. This is the third time!" She laughed. 

"One's an incident, two's a coincidence and third's a pattern." I said in fake wise voice. 

"You got that right." She agreed. 

"Well, since this is a pattern, would you like to get a coffee with me?" I asked, saying with as much courage and confidence as I could. I was afraid she'd turn my down. 

"Is the Liam Payne asking me out?" She asked in a mock surprise voice. 

"Yes, yes I am." I grinned with a wink. 

"Well, I am honoured to, Mr Payne." She replied. 

"Great!" I chirped. My eyes widened at the overeagerness in my voice so I quickly cleared my throat and said in a deeper, manly voice, "I mean, great."

She laughed her melodious laugh and ushered me back the way she came. We talked easy as we walked to a nearby Starbucks. We talked about anything and everything and more than once did she laugh. 

We got to Starbucks and ordered our coffees and she ordered a banana bread whilst I ordered a blueberry bagel. We took our seats in a booth in a corner and talked. It was so easygoing. I feel like I can talk to her about anything. She talked animatedly about how she’s been and what she’s doing. All I could do is stare at her because she seems so passionate and exciting. 

“So you’re still in school?” I asked, casually. Sometimes the talk of school upsets me because I didn’t really get to finish my education. i mean I was sort of home-schooled but it would’ve been nice to go to university to get my degree. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job. i love singing for people and make our fans happy but it just gets sort of... upsetting.

“Yeah, I go to  University of Manchester.” She answered, nodding her head.

“Really? Eleanor’s completing, i think, her third year there. What do you study?” I asked her.

“I study English Lit with Creative Writing and Learning Disabilities Studies.” She told me. My eyebrows raised in surprised. They were contrasting courses and she noticed my expression and gave a small laugh. “I know what you’re thinking, everyone thinks that same thing but I have a reason for it.”

She looked at me as if asking me silently if I wanted to her what she has to say. I said nothing and she continued.

“I have a passion for creative writing and literature. I’m telling you now, I have a library back at home, a room full of books and I’ve read almost all of them. I’ve got everyone from Oscar Wilde to Stephen King. They’re all such amazing books and I want a career in writing, short stories, novels, poems. But I also want to help people with disabilities.” She paused for a moment as if to make sure I was still listening, as if she thought that what she was saying was boring and irrelevant. But what I felt was the complete opposite of that. I didn’t want to stop listening. 

She continued, “My 14-year-old brother, Wes, has had a severe case of CAPD, Central Auditory Processing Disorder, and he was diagnosed at 7. At first we weren’t sure what was wrong when we tried teaching him the alphabet or when we tried to get him to read us a book. But then he was diagnosed with CAPD and he knows it. He hates it. If he doesn’t know what I’m saying or what my mum is saying, he’d just tune out and not listen. But I kept trying, you know. I didn’t want to give up on him. I love him so much. So I kept reading to him. 

One day, when I was 15 and he was 10, I asked him if I could read one of my stories and he said yes. So I read him my story, it was about a boy with autism who couldn’t comprehend much and he hated it, he always felt so alone. Then he dropped into a new world where everything was perfect and he was perfect and once the boy believed that that world was real, he started to have friends. He interacted with people and he began to comprehend the little things that should be comprehended. 

Wes enjoyed that story. He smiled the whole way through and that was his first real smile since his diagnosis. Then he told me how he wanted to hear more of my stories and it warmed my heart that he loved it. So I wrote more and I read him more. And that was when I realised what I wanted to do with my life.

I want write stories and help people with disorders. I want them to stay happy and feel happy. I want them to find hope that their disability is just a flaw and can be overlooked if they just believed it was a flaw.” She finished.

I looked at her with awe. Ruby has got to be the most down-to-earth girl I’ve ever met. She really wants to change the world, she wants to be there for people. She wants them to feel happiness. It made my dream almost seem so selfish. 

I watched as her cheeks redden. “I can’t believe I just told you that, wow. You must think that was really boring. I’m sorry.” She laughed lightly.

I shook my head abruptly. “No, no, no. That was amazing. You are so amazing, Ruby. You’re so selfless. How could you say I thought it was boring?”

Her eyes lit up at my words. “You really don’t? Because my, er, old boyfriend told me that it was.” I noticed that way she sounded hesitant and the way her eyes flashed hurt when she spoke of her ex but I didn’t comment on it.

“Well, you’re ex must be really stupid to not realise how amazing you are.” I told her.

Her eyes shone with admiration and a little adoration. Then all at once she flashed her perfect teeth into a wide grin. “Thank you.” She said, a little sheepishly.

“You’re welcome.” I smiled at her.

“Uh, excuse me.” A voice said from beside me. I turned to find two twelve year old girls, a blonde and a redhead holding a camera, with starstruck expressions on their faces.

“Yes?” I answered them with a smile.

“I don’t really want to bother you since it is your year and a half off but can we please have a picture?” The blonde asked shyly. I almost aw’d at the little girl.

“Sure!” I answered. The redhead turned to Ruby, holding the camera slightly out as if silently asking her to take the photo.

“Sure, I’ll take it.” Ruby told the girls with enthusiasm. The girls smiled at her gratefully and I bent down in between the girls. Ruby took the picture and handed it back to them.

“So, what are your names?” I asked them.

Their faces lit up with excitement and they both blew out ragged breaths. I silently laughed at them, the fans are so cute.

“I’m Lucy and this is my best friend Georgia.” The redhead said.

“Really? I have a friend named Georgia.” I told them.

“We know. She’s Niall’s girlfriend!” The blonde, Georgia, enthusiastically said.

“Well, I’ll tell the boys about you two.” I laughed.

“Really?” Lucy said happily.

“Of course! I’ll tell them all about the two nicest fans I met today at Starbucks.” I grinned.

They both gasped and jumped up and down excitedly. “Thank you!” They both chanted. 

I chuckled and gave them both hugs. They thanked me once more before leaving, talking animatedly to each other.

“Well, Liam Payne.” Ruby said teasingly.

“That is me.” I grinned.

“So, that’s your dream?” She said.

“What?” I asked her.

“To make people as happy as they can.” She answered, motioning to the girls who just walked out the door.

I nodded my head. “It’s great to know that I put the smiles on their faces.”

“You’ve got a good heart, Liam.” Ruby said giving me the most genuine smile I’ve ever seen on anyone. I couldn’t help but smile back at her, my heart tightening slightly.

 

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A/N

 

To be honest.... GREAT CHAPTER OH MY GOD!!!

 

Vote, comment, share, fan etcetc.

Mwahbebssssssss

 

-Winona

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