The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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5. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

 

Same brooding routine, but different damn day. 

I woke up from my deep slumber and wiped my hand over my face. I sighed then looked at my clock, it was nearing noon. Lately, my sleeping pattern was becoming more and more messed up. I can't sleep anymore and I end up sleeping at 4 in the morning. Then I don't wake up until around noon. It's hard getting to sleep. My mind just won't shut up. 

Especially since last week when I met the redheaded girl in the hallways. She was beautiful. But she looked so devastated and traumatic. I still remember the tear streaks etched on her cheeks. And her sore red eyes. And her blotchy cheeks. And her disheveled hair. And every time I thought of her something in me would scold at myself for thinking like that about another girl. It's like one half of me is egging me on but the other half is deeply disappointed in my. It honestly confuses the hell out of me. 

I pulled the covers off me and walked out of my room and to the kitchen. I poured myself some coffee and made my way to the living room that was still sort of trashed from my angry month. I only fixed up the cushions of my sofa but everything else was a mess. 

It took me a few seconds to realise that my living room was all clean. The clothes were in hampers, my shoes are lined up beside the door, the CDs were in its racks, the controllers were under the TV and the papers were neatly piled on my glass coffee table. I was confused at first but then I realised it was either the boys or the girls. But I had a feeling it was the girls. 

I set my coffee down on the table and picked up the note that was laying in the middle. 

Liam, it said, I can't believe you trashed your living room. I'm getting the holes fixed by Jake later. You need to move on, Liam. You're becoming depressed and it's scaring all of us. I'm half convinced to call your mum over. Liam, we all need you to get better. We don't mean stop visiting her (which you should've told us about so we can come!) but you need to get out more an talk to us more. 

We miss you!

-Ali xx. 

I put the paper back and sighed. It's not that I don't want to move on. It's just that I can't. I'm stuck on her like glue. I try to, i swear. But every time I go out I end up at the damn hospital next to her bed watching her in her trance-like coma state. 

I downed my coffee and showered and dressed. As soon as I finished, I heard the door open and I quickly rushed out to see who it was. It was Jake with a group of guys. 

"Hey, Liam." He said gently. I nodded my head in response. "We're just going to fix up all the holes you put in the wall." I nodded again then grabbed a jacket off the coat hanger. 

"I'm heading out, just lock up when you're done. And don't mess anything up. Or do, I don't really care." I told them. Jake looked at me with a defeated expression and nodded. I walked out the door. 

Maybe I was a little rude. I didn't even say thank you to him. Or Ali. I'm literally not getting better. It's been about three months and a half since the whole fiasco. Why am I still hung up on all this!?

I walked through the hospital doors and walked to her room. Her eyes were closed for a change but her body was still unmoving. Sighing, I sat down beside her. 

"I'm here again." I said to her. "You know what's surprising? I never seem to run out of things to say to you. It's been three and half months. That's about 80-something days. That's a lot of days. And I always talk to you for three hours straight. I really don't know how I do this. 

The gang is getting really worried about me. Especially Ali. She keeps thinking it's her fault no matter how many times I tell her it isn't. It's no one's fault honestly. Ali cleaned my apartment today. You know, from the time I trashed it because I was angry all the time. She even made Jake fix up the holes in the wall. I don't know why she's so adamant to help me. I don't need help. 

I'm happy, i think." I sighed, knowing deep down that I am absolutely not happy. "Anyway, I haven't told you this, or anyone really and I don't know why, but I met this girl last week. Her name's Ruby. She's... I can't even talk to you about this. I feel guilty. Like, I'm cheating on you. Which I'm not. But then again we never exactly broke up. 

But, ugh. We have broken up and I don't even know if I still love you. Okay, that sounded a little harsh but it's the truth, I guess." I said to her. I watched as her eyes slowly opened. It was quite intriguing. I half expected her to say something but she just stared at the ceiling like always. 

"You know what I'm most scared of? What's going to happen when you do wake up. When you're completely lucid. Will you remember everything? Will you remember me? Will you remember listening to me? I'm scared to think about what will happen." I said to her, truthfully. 

I got up out of me seat, suddenly getting the urge to leave after my confession. I lightly stroked her hair before leaving the room. As i closed the door someone bumped into me and i stumbled back. I scowled slightly, this not lightening up my mood. 

"Oh, god. I'm sorry!" A melodic voice apologised. I looked up to find a familiar redhead. I immediately smiled at her. "Oh, it's you." She grinned.

She looked better than she did last week. She looked a little happier. She wasn't glowing happy but she's getting there. Her cheeks were no longer blotchy and tearstreaked. Her eyes were no longer red and she was wearing a real genuine smile. She looked even more beautiful. At least she looks better than me, i thought. 

"Hello." I gave her small smile. 

"Hey." Ruby smiled back. "Are you leaving?"

I nodded and she suggested we walk out together. "So, how've been the past week?"

"Great. I'm getting better, I think. How about you?" She asked, looking up from under her lashes. 

"I don't know, honestly. You look better. Last week you looked like you've been crying buckets." I teased and she gave a harmonic laugh. 

"I can't say the same for you. You look distraught." She said, giving a little laugh to show that it was a joke. I smiled at her. 

"Thanks, I try." I joked and gave her a wink. 

We got to the exit of the hospital and gave our goodbyes and went our opposite ways.

For some reason, whenever I'm around Ruby I feel warm inside. Like the bubbly kind of warm where all you want to do is smile. Like the colours are all radiant and bright but when I walk away the colours start to dull into black and white. I smile a real smile when I talk to her. 

Woah, what am I thinking!?

I've only talked to this girl twice and I'm already talking about how my life is better with her. Also, I still have Elise to think about. I mean, am I over her? I highly doubt that since I haven't stopped visiting her. I have to move on and I tell myself that everyday but I never follow it through. 

But then it's Ruby. She's beautiful and her voice sounds like bells and her laugh is melodic and harmonic. And I'm talking about her like I love her. This is completely ridiculous. I've known her for a week and I've only spoken to her twice. 

This is really really ridiculous. 

 

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A/N

 

Yep, it's short. And not enough Ruby. Sorrrrrryyyyyyyyyy

 

Vote, comment, share, fan etcetc. 

Mwahbebsssssssss

 

-Winona

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