The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 

My heart twisted into tight knots as I stood in the elevator of my apartment building. It was full of red and pink hearts with messages written on them. The elevator music was all the romantic songs, Jason Mraz's I'm Yours was currently playing. But I did hear our Truly, Madly, Deeply song. It broke my heart. 

When I walked out of the building, my heart shattered even more. I watched everyone greet each other with a kiss. I watched them give each other oversized teddy bears, chocolates in a heart shaped box, necklaces and the likes. 

"Liam!" I heard my name being called out. I turned to find Eleanor, Ali and Georgia come out of a Mini Cooper. They each carried boxes of presents and teddy bears. 

I sighed inwardly before putting a smile on my face that hurt my cheeks. "Hey girls."

"Are you okay?" Ali asked me skeptically. I laughed a little, the falseness sounding so obvious to my ears. 

"I'm fine, honestly." I smiled as best I could. It really hurt my cheeks. 

Ali pulled me into a hug. She squeezed in a reassuringly way before letting go and kissing my cheek. "I'm so sorry!"

"For what? You did nothing wrong." I said to her. 

"Oh it's all my fault! If it wasn't for me you wouldn't have... She wouldn't have..." She seemed like she was avoiding Elise's name. 

"Ali, it's fine, I'm fine, it's not your fault." I laughed again halfheartedly. 

She looked at my face with searching eyes. Then she sighed and gave me another hug saying, "happy valentine's day!" 

Eleanor and Georgia did the same with a small pat and a kiss on the cheek before heading into the building. I looked back after them, feeling the smile finally drop from my face and my cheeks feeling so sore. 

Who knew smiling would hurt after not smiling for three months?

My whole winter was spent going back and forth from the hospital and my apartment. It's the only reason why I leave the house. The boys come over sometimes but I'm too distant to know what was going on. 

Now the festive season of love is here and I didn't know what to do. But at the same time I knew what to do.

I really didn't want to go to Elise. I really just wanted to move on. 

But I can't. Somehow she just less pulling me back to her. Which is weird since she's currently in a coma state where her brain is awake and her eyes are opened and she's breathing but she's unresponsive to anything. The doctors would tell her to squeeze her hand or blink if she could hear them but she doesn't answer. Her eyes just stay open hours on end until they close for the night. It's scary. She's so close but so so far. 

The doctors say that she's in this state because her mind is too scared to be lucid. They say it's more of a psychological problem than a medical problem. It's scary to walk in her room and find her eyes open. I'd start to talk to her but no answer. I know she hears me sometimes because her eyes wander over to me. And it's those times where my hopes go soaring high. But nothing ever happens and it kills me. 

I walked through the automatic hospital doors and walk straight past the receptionist giving her a small smile. I know most of the receptionists that work here because I'm here so often. It's routine for me to show up everyday. There's never been a day when I haven't come to visit Elise. It's almost sad. 

I sat down on the same plastic chair beside her bed. Her hazel eyes were staring blankly at the ceiling. Her chest was breathing short, even breaths and her hands were limp. I've always wanted to hold her hand. But I feel like I'm violating something. Like if I touch her hand, something might happen to her or me. That I might want to keep loving her. Or that I might realise that this wasn't that big of a deal.

I'm just scared to touch her. 

"It's valentine's day." I tell her, my hands fidgeting. "It's sad, you know. The day where love is celebrated. The day where you can go over the top with cheesy. The day filled with so much romance that it makes you want to puke. 

I was going to do something so special for you today. It wasn't exactly planned but I had a feeling I knew what I wanted to do. Maybe have dinner then go on the London Eye. Or go to a musical because I know you like musicals. Or were you lying about that too?

It's so frustrating, you know. Remembering things you've told me about yourself always makes me wonder if you lied. If you lied about all your hobbies and favorites and likes and pet peeves. I always wonder is who you told me about is who you really are. I guess it just makes me so confused." I licked my lips, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. But I continued talking anyway. 

"It's still so weird to walk in here and find your eyes open. I always forget about that for some reason. Why can't you just fully wake up so I can get my answers. It's really frustrating to know that your brain is working, your eyes are working and everything else is working but you're just not responsive. You know the doctors are saying it's because your mind is too scared. But why would it be scared? I wouldn't hurt you. No one would. I just want you awake to get my answers."

Now the dryness of my mouth was uncomfortable. I needed some water badly. My throat is dry and so is my to tongue. I sighed and stood up. My shoulders are slightly hunched and my feet dragged. My eyes were tired. 

I was tired. 

I walked through the maze of the hallway just staring at my shoes. I was so drained out. Months of crying and anger and a lot of thinking can drain a person out so easily. 

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't know someone was in front of me until it was too late. Our heads collided, their forehead hitting my chin. Then a flash of ruby red hair caught my eyes and I looked at them. 

She had ruby red hair like I said. It fell down to just under her shoulders. It looked slightly disheveled, the way it looks when it's been fidgeted and run through a lot. Her light brown eyes were sad with some surprise and shock and it was red. Her cheeks were blotchy and tearstreaked. She was a tragic kind of beautiful. The one where the sadness made her beauty soar. Like she was beautiful despite the fact that she was sad. 

"Oh." She gasped. 

"Sorry about that." I chuckled nervously. "I wasn't looking where I was going."

"No, that was my fault. I'm so sorry." Her voice was low and rang with bells. 

"No, no, it's fine." I said so her with a small smile which she returned. 

"Um, I've never seen you here before. And I can sort of tell you've been coming here for a while." I said making small conversation for God knows why. 

Her eyes darted back and forth nervously. "Yeah, I have."

"I'm Liam." I said. 

"Ruby." She smiled. 

"Were you headed out or...?" I asked her gesturing down the hallway. 

"Um, yeah." She answered and I smiled. 

"Oh, well I'll come with you. I actually don't really have anything to do." I told her moving to stand by her side. 

"But weren't you going that way?" She pointed down the hallway. 

"I was just going to get water but there's some on the other side so it's okay." I said to her.

"Alright." She said. We fell into a silence. It wasn't awkward but it wasn't exactly comfortable. 

"Oh my god!" She suddenly exclaimed. She turned to me with wide eyes. 

"What?" I asked a little nervous. 

"You're Liam Payne! No wonder why you looked so familiar." She laughed halfheartedly. 

My cheeks reddened a little. "Yeah, I am. Fan of the band?" I asked. 

"Not exactly. More like fan of the music. I don't know much about the band, honestly. I just know you because you were front page of some magazine that I was reading a whole ago." She answered a little sheepishly. I nodded my head unsure of what to say. 

"Why are you lonely on valentine's day?" I asked her. 

She breathed in and out and it looked like a touchy subject so I quickly backtracked and told her not to tell me. She gave me a grateful smile. 

"What about you?" She asked me. 

I forced a smile. "Just cause." I said vaguely in a sort of cheerful tone. 

"I guess we've both been through something scary." She said to me with a small smile. 

I looked at her with wonder for a bit before smiling a real smile for the first time in months. "I guess so." We walked out of the doors of the hospital and I turned to her. "Happy valentine's day, Ruby."

"Happy valentine's day, Liam." She laughed a little before walking the other way. 

 

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A/N

 

I know. I need to edit this. Badly. -.-

 

Vote, comment, share, fan etcetc.

Mwahbebssssssss

 

-Winona

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