The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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24. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

 

It was silent for a few minutes. My eyes darted around the room, avoiding the brown eyes that I fell in love with last year, until they connected with the bright brown eyes I’m in love with now. I knew what she was thinking in that moment. She wanted to leave Elise and I alone to sort things out but I didn’t want to be alone with Elise. I remembered a while ago when I would’ve given anything to speak to Elise once she woke up but now that the moment finally came, I was too much of a coward to actually speak up.

“I’m going to go get a doctor.” Ruby whispered loud enough for Elise and I to hear. I nodded my head but I knew my eyes were begging for her to stay but Ruby didn’t meet my eyes. Instead she stood up and turned to Elise and said, “It’s nice to know you finally woke up.” Then left after giving Elise a genuine smile.

I didn’t say anything for a long time because I didn’t know what to say. After months of waiting for Elise to wake up, to finally understand why she did it, I couldn’t bring myself to repeat the words I had in my mind all that time ago. 

“I heard you.” Elise finally said. My eyes snapped to hers but she wasn’t looking at me, she was looking at the ceiling, not in a fearful way but rather that her head was more comfortable like that.

“What?” I asked. Her head slowly inched to look at me and her lips were turned down at the corners and her eyes were glassy with tears.

“I heard you, every time you spoke to me.” She stated. My eyes widened. She heard? How? I didn’t think she could hear a thing since her mind was practically dead.

“I wasn’t aware of being in this room with you but I heard everything you said like they were dreams except they weren’t really dreams. I felt like they were flashbacks, like you’ve already told me what you felt about everything.” She replied. 

I stayed quiet for a little while. “And?” I asked.

“And I want to say I’m sorry for hurting you as much as I did. I’m sorry you had to go through all that pain because I was selfish and a dick. I’m sorry.” She apologised.

I should’ve been happy, right? To finally hear her apologise for the pain she caused me. To finally hear what I’ve needed to hear for a while. But I wasn’t happy. I was far from happy. Her apologies reminded me of everything I felt in those days. She reminded me of how I could barely function because of how hurt I was, how I trashed my apartment because I was so angry, how I got drunk almost every other day to wash away the pain and anger in me. 

“‘I’m sorry?’ Is that all you have to say? I’m sorry’. You hurt me, you deceived me, you broke me fucking heart and all you have to say is ‘I’m sorry’?” I hissed at her, standing up and pointing an accusatory finger at her.

I wished she showed some emotion at my anger. I wished she showed some surprise or some anger for her to retaliate or some shock that the composed guy she met last year was long gone. But no, she just looked at me with calm, no signs of anger or shock or surprise. She just looked like she was expecting it.

“What do you want me to say, Liam? Tell me what you want to hear and I’ll tell you.” She said submissively. 

“Fine, how about an explanation? If you really did hear me when I spoke to you, you’d know that almost every visit I wanted you to give me an explanation.” I told her, slumping back in my chair with my arms crossed tightly around my chest. I could feel my arms flexing as I clenched my hands into tight fists.

“Okay, I’ll give you one.” She complied. She took a deep breath and sat up, fumbling for the remote that could bring her mattress up. Silent tears leaked out of her eyes and she hastily wiped them away. “Do you remember when we met at Manly? I was sitting on the gutter and I was really fidgety? Well, a few minutes before that Sam came up to me while I was half drunk and half broke. She promised me two thousand dollars if I helped her by getting with one of the member of One Direction. I was broke so of course I agreed and she told me that you were heading up the street and I had to act innocent. So I did.

“I was never really an actor, I was terrible at playing a part that wasn’t really me. But somehow I was able to portray the innocent girl Sam wanted me to be. I don’t know if it was because of you or if it was because I was inspired by the money but somehow, I changed, I just didn’t know what for. I think at some point I really did start caring about you but I kept telling myself it was all for the money and the money only to remind myself why I was actually there. 

“And to tell you the truth, everything I told you wasn’t a lie. My parents really did abandon me when I was thirteen, I’ve been living with my aunty on the same street as Alira. I really do love musicals, which is pretty geeky for me and I really do love peanut butter. My favourite colour is green. Everything I told you was the truth.” She confessed, etting the tears fall freely.

I sucked in a deep breath, trying to keep my face unreadable. So nothing was a lie. “What about when you told me you loved me, was that a lie?” I asked her.

Her eyes fell down to her lap and I noticed how she struggled to find the right words. “Yes.”

I kept my face as stoic as possible but inside I was raging. I guess I expected it but what I didn’t expect was the heavy emotion that followed her confession. I was angry and shocked and surprisingly heartbroken. No matter who it was, you’d always feel your heart breaking when someone you once loved told you she never loved you even though she said she did. 

“But I did care about you, Liam. When Ali started-” I cut her off.

“Alira.” I said, monotonously.

“What?” Elise asked.

“You can’t call her Ali. You call her Alira. You don’t have the right to call her Ali after what you did to her.” I said.

I watched her swallow before nodding and continuing. “When Alira started telling me about things you would’ve done to me like treating me like a queen ad giving me the world, I almost backed out of it. I didn’t want to hurt you or them.”

“Why didn’t you?” I asked her.

“Why didn’t I what?” She asked confused.

“Why did you back out when you were about to?” I replied.

“Sam spoke up and I remembered the reason why I was there. Even if it went according to the plan, I would’ve broken up with you to save you from the pain of finding out the truth. I didn’t have the right to stay with you after doing something major like that.” She answered.

I had every answer I needed. She answered every question I had. I wasn’t as angry as I was earlier on. I was more calm about the situation. She’s awake and I finally understood what was going on and that was all I needed. It went quiet after that because I had nothing else I wanted to say to her.

“Ruby’s really nice.” Elise stated.

“Yeah, she is.” I agreed.

“That’s what you deserve, Liam. You deserve Ruby especially after what I did to you. You deserve someone who doesn’t have the heart to betray you in any way. You deserve someone who could make you smile despite all the pain you were going through.” She said. 

“I love Ruby.” I stated. I wasn’t rubbing it in her face, I just felt like I had to tell someone that didn’t know. She sniffed and wiped and lone tears away.

“I know you do. I heard you and I’m so happy for you, Liam. Ruby really is someone you need.” Elise smiled. But her smile was broken, like bitter happiness.

A knock on the door stopped or conversation and Ruby stepped in with a doctor behind her. “I, uh, got the doctor. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

You’d expect jealousy if you left your boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend but she wasn’t jealous at all. She understood that all we needed was a talk and was willing to leave. I thank Ruby everyday because she’s angelic. I love her.

“So, you’re finally awake after almost nine months. Welcome. Let’s just do a quick check up.” The doctor announced and Elise nodded.

“Do you remember what happened to you?” The doctor asked.

“Yes, I remember everything. I got stabbed in the stomach.” Elise recounted. Her eyes were still glazed over with unshed tears but she kept them from falling.

“Good, good. Can you feel your limbs? Are there any pain if you move them?” The doctor continued.

“They’re numb but I can move them.” Elise responded.

“That’s expected. You will have to go to physical therapy three times a week to get your body working normally. You’ve been immobile for almost nine months.” He told her and she just nodded.

“Well, you’re heart rates are fine, you’re breathing is good and you’re blood pressure is normal. You’re just going to have to stay in the hospital for another month or so, so we can monitor you and help you recover to your best.” He said.

“Okay, thank you.” Elise smiled and the doctor nodded and left the room. Then Elise turned and looked at Ruby.

“Can I talk to Ruby alone for a bit, Liam?” Elise asked. The question shocked the both of us. Ruby was confused as to why Elise wanted to talk to her and so was I.

“Why?” I asked.

“I just need to talk to her. Please, Liam.” Elise begged. I looked at Ruby and she nodded her head.

“It’s fine. We’ll be fine.” She promised and I sighed.

“Okay.” I bent down to give her a kiss but she pulled away and shook her head. I knew she didn’t want to kiss me in front of Elise, it was unfair to her. I sighed and walked out after giving Elise a warning glance to which she nodded at.

They spoke for a long time. I couldn’t hear anything from outside the door and i badly wanted to press my ear against it but I knew that was wrong. I know Ruby never eavesdropped when Elise and I spoke, she wouldn’t do that. She know to give the both of us privacy so i had to accept that and do the same to her. So I paced the corridor, waiting for them to finish. Almost half an hour later, Ruby opened the door. Her eyes were slightly puffy and so was Elise’s but she smiled happily.

“So can I know what happened?” I asked the both of them. They exchanged a secretive look and Ruby shook her head.

“Not yet.” Ruby said and I sighed, accepting her answer. 

“Okay, then. Well, Elise, we’re going to go. I’ll tell the rest of them that you’re awake. I’m pretty sure Ali’s going to want to visit you, despite what you did to her, you were still her friend.” I told her. More tears welled up in her eyes and she nodded silently.

“Bye, Elise.” Ruby said as she walked out up to her and gave her a hug. I was growing more and more curious as to what they were talking about but I know that she wouldn’t be telling me any time soon.

“Bye.” Elise said to the both of us and we walked out.

“Why can’t I know what you spoke about?” I asked her as I grabbed her hand.

“I promised her I wouldn’t tell you what she said until it’s time.” She replied.

“And when is it time?” I asked.

“I’ll know when.” She said vaguely, with a secretive smile. She stood up on the tips of her toes and kissed my cheek. “Just be patient.”

I nodded, trusting her judgement on it but it didn’t stop the curiousity building up inside me. 

 

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A/N

 

Three more chapters + the epilogue left :)

 

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Mwahbebssssssss

 

-Winona

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