The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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3. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

 

November 

 

I'm angry. I'm always angry and I haven't stopped being angry. 

I still visit her. Everyday. And all I've done is yell at her. I yell and yell and yell because I'm angry. 

The anger was still running through my veins as I stood beside her bed. I was gripping the edge of the bed so hard that my knuckles were turning white. It took all my might not to hit or throw something.

I just kept remembering how she hurt me. I kept remembering how she betrayed me, used me, lied to me. I kept remembering everything she did to me. 

It made me so mad to think about it all. At my apartment my coffee table is turned over. The cushions from my sofa are everywhere. There are clothes and shoes strewn all over. CDs off the rack, controllers on the floor and disconnected, papers fluttering about, holes in almost every wall. I can't stop. 

"It's so unfair! It's so unfair for you to make me love you when you didn't feel shit. It's unfair that you walked away without giving two fucks about me." I growled at her unmoving body. "I loved you. I loved you so much. Ali and Louis loved you so much. How could you!" 

I was breathing heavily. I was almost drained out. I just hated it all. I hated how she could be fine with everything. I hated knowing that she never loved me like she said she did. 

I'm just so angry. 

 

December

 

The tears won't stop. They just kept pouring and pouring and pouring. Every time I tried thinking about something else, she'd come creeping back into my mind. I think about what I'm having for dinner then all of a sudden I'd think of how Elise would want Thai. 

She was everywhere and I couldn't get her out of my mind. And every time she's on my mind it starts to hurt. The searing pain in my chest strikes again and it hurts enough to trigger my tears. 

Everyday I visit her. Everyday she's still lying there with the beeping and the sound of hair being forced into her lungs. Everyday I tell her about my life. Or about what should be happening in my life. And each visit I always end up crying. And today was no different. 

"It hurts, Elise. It hurts knowing that I wouldn't have met you if Sam didn't bribe you. It hurts knowing that even though you lied, you still were the best person I've ever met. You're so amazing. So so so amazing." The tears fell down my jaw. "Everything just hurts, Elise. And there's nothing that can stop the pain. I'm too scared to move on. But at the same time I have to."

I tried to breathe. I felt like I was suffocating and the tears were the hands around my neck. It all hurt. I wasn't angry anymore. I'm just hurt and sad. And so so so heartbroken. 

 

January

 

I'm not angry anymore. I'm not upset anymore. I'm numb and neutral. 

I don't know what to feel anymore. I don't know how to feel anymore. 

I'm just so confused about everything. I'm so so so confused. The same questions run through my mind. The same doubts, the same feelings. I just don't know what to think anymore. 

Once I went out for the day to get my mind off everything. For some reason I thought that day was the day I moved on and I was getting better. But at the end of that day I ended up beside her bed again. 

And now as I stand next to her, I say the same questions I say everyday. 

"Why am I still here? Why am I not moving on? Why are you still running through my mind?" I sat down on the seat beside her bed and sighed. "Did you ever love me? I mean, you have to have felt something at some point. You were happy. I know that. I saw it in your face. But did you love me? Did you feel anything towards me? Why did you have to do this?" 

I didn't expect anything but I knew some part of me wanted a sign or something. Just an indication of how I should move on. 

"I love you." I said while stroking her cheek lightly. 

 

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A/N

 

That's chapter 2. I wrote this on my phone because Internet is down again -.- so sorry for spelling mistakes. 

 

Vote, comment, share, fan etcetc. 

Mwahbebsssssss

 

-Winona

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