The Doubt of Moving On

Liam Payne was once in love. He was head over heels for her. He'd take the moon for her. But she did something that not only hurt him but his friends as well. He doesn't know what to do. All he can do is hang on to the past. Hang on to her. But he knows he needs to move on.
Ruby Adams was once happy. She was head over heels for a guy. She loved her brother more than anything. But the guy she loved did something to her which made her do something to her brother. She's a mess. All she can do is mope around. Not care about anything else. But she knows she needs to move on.
When their fates cross paths, will they finally do what they need to do all along?
*Don't need to read Chasing the Sun for this spinoff*

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19. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

 

It was a rainy tuesday and Ruby just arrived at my house after her uni classes. We weren't even doing anything. She just sat on my lap with her arms around my neck. I lightly stroked her back without a word in question. 

Minutes later she got off my lap and just laid beside me with her head on my chest. It was silent with only that sound of our breathing. 

"Are you okay?" I asked her. 

"Yeah." She whispered. 

"What's wrong?" I questioned. I was a little worried because she doesn't usually do that. 

"I just..." She started but didn't finish. 

"Were you thinking about the accident?" I carefully asked her. We haven't talked much about her accident but we always talked about Elise. I'm not judging her or anything, if she doesn't want to talk about it, it's fine with me. 

She didn't reply to my question. Instead, she sighed and stayed quiet for a bit longer. "Are you over the whole Elise thing?"

I raised my eyebrows at her unexpected question. Am I over it? I haven't asked myself that question in a long time. I don't know the answer to it. Some days I do feel like I'm over it but then I remember how hurt i was then I feel like I'm not. It was a really hard question to answer. Situations like that take years to get over and I've inly had months. "Are you over the whole Ryder thing?" I found myself asking. I wanted to punch myself over and over for asking that. Why did I say that!

Ruby sat up straight and her eyes narrowed at me. "Why would you ask that?"

I wanted to apologise but my mouth kept talking. "I'm just asking. Are you?"

"I thought you were more understanding than that, Liam." She responded disappointedly. 

"I am. I have been for the past few months. You constantly ask me about Elise but the minute I ask you about Ryder you turn the subject around." I told her. 

She stood up off the couch and started to walk around the place. She ran her hand through her hair and huffed. "That's because I don't want to talk about it! Why can't you understand that?"

"You have no idea how ridiculously unfair that is. If I can talk about Elise then you should be able to talk about Ryder." I told her as I got to my feet. I really didn't want a fight but for some reason I wanted to know how she's feeling about this but she won't say anything at all. I guess it was starting to get to me. I want to know how she's feeling about it all and I can't do that if she doesn't tell me anything. 

"It's different with Elise! She betrayed you-" I cut her off. 

"Can you not tell me about what happened with Elise? I remember it so clearly, okay! I remember hearing the damn recording on Niall's phone. I remember everything!" I yelled at her. 

"Yeah but were you there when she got shot, huh? Were you there when she was explaining why she did it? I was there when our car flipped over. I was the one who grabbed the goddamn wheel! You can't just expect me to talk to you about all of this since I blame myself for everything!" She shouted. I could see the tears in her eyes that she was fighting to keep in. I could feel the tears in mine as well. It was heartbreaking to watch her. 

"I know you blame yourself! I just want to know what's going on!" I shouted in reply. 

She laughed bitterly. "See that's what's so annoying about you. You always have to know what's going on and frankly, it pisses me off."

"So now we're going to talk about what annoys us? Okay how about those times when you have to have everything a certain way?" I said to her and her eyes turned angry. 

"Don't you dare pick on that! You know I'm a perfectionist and I thought you didn't care!" She stepped forward, her hands were clenched in fists. 

"I do when you decide to clean up my damn apartment each time you're over. You have no idea how frustrating it is when I can't find shit because you moved absolutely everything." I yelled. 

"Well excuse you for wanting to keep your apartment clean since it never is! It's so frustratingly messy!" She yelled.

"No it isn't. You're just a damn perfectionist and it pisses me off." I said. 

"Can you stop okay?" She screamed, her fists raising into the air. "I'm not the only imperfect person in this relationship. You have this stupid annoying habit of knowing everything. Seriously, at the end of the day whether I'm happy or upset you always have to know what happened. Like honestly have you ever heard of personal space?"

"It's called making conversation! It's not because I'm nosy!" I replied. 

"No, you are nosy! You ask all these unnecessary questions that you don't have to freaking ask!" She shouted. 

"Are you kidding me! They're just damn questions. It's not like I ask like fucking 4 year old." I yelled. 

“But you have no idea how many questions you ask a day.” She replied. “What did you have for lunch? Are you okay? How has your day been? Did you do anything fun? What move do you want to watch? Blah blah blah blah.” She mimicked with a roll of her eyes.

“I don’t talk like that! And I sure as hell don’t say shit like that. I’m only asking like nice boyfriend, okay. How do you want me to act!”

“Like a normal human being. One where you don’t ask so many questions that it starts to make me second guess whether or not I should be with you!”

That shocked me. I never knew she’d actually think like that. I could feel my heart slowly cracking. “Are you kidding me! Is that what it’s going to be like to be with you? I can’t ask a single fucking question without you considering to break up with me? What the hell is that! That is unbelievably childish! You can’t just break up with someone because they ask questions. What kind of relationship would that be! You know what don’t even answer that. You’re so bloody bossy and always wanting everything right. Well guess what, Ruby, you can’t have everything right and perfect. It’s not how it goes!”

“Jesus, Liam! Will you calm down? I didn’t mean like that. I was exaggerating. I honestly hate you so much right now! You just blew everything out of proportion.”

“Me? I blew everything out of proportion? I asked one simple question! It wasn’t that hard to-”

“Yes, it’s hard to answer! I fucking blame everything that happened Ryder on me, okay.  Everything is on me. So excuse me for not wanting to talk about it.”

“I thought you trusted me! That’s why I’m getting so worked up about it. I thought you trusted me enough to let me in like I let you in. But I guess you don’t since you won’t say one word about how you’re feeling.”

“I do trust you! But I trusted you enough for you to know when to not bug me about something like this. I just want to keep it all in, do you not understand that.”

“No, I don’t. Even your damn little head has to be perfect. I just want to know what you’re feeling.”

“Well, do you know what I’m feeling right now?”

“Enlighten me.” I mocked.

“Right now I’m feeling like you’re the worst person ever. I hate you so much right now Liam and I just-” She growled and grabbed a stack of papers on the coffee table and threw them all at me. Then she grabbed some remotes and threw it in my direction. I narrowly missed them and stepped to the side, avoiding other objects she threw my way.

“Ruby, stop!” I shouted but she ignored me, continuing to throw things around.

“There! Am I still a perfectionist to you!?” She screamed before throwing one last thing at me–which was a magazine. 

“Jesus, Ruby, stop throwing my shit around!” I shouted at her.

“You know what, Liam, just shut up!” She yelled. “I hate you so freaking much. Fuck!” She started to walk around towards the door.

“Don’t you dare walk out on this.” I told her as she held on to the doorknob.

“I don’t fucking care anymore. I will walk out if I want to.” She shouted.

“Ruby!” I yelled.

“Just shut up, Liam. I don’t care and I just want to fucking leave.” And with that she grabbed her back of the seat beside the door and walked out of my apartment with an angry puff.

I grabbed a remote and threw it at the door. I was so angry at her. She can’t just walk out on a fight like that. I just wanted to know what she was feeling about Ryder. Is that so bad? We’ve been together for three months now. We just celebrated our three month anniversary two weeks ago. I thought we had it better than that. I thought she trusted me. 

I sighed angrily, kicking everything at my feet. That was the worst fight we’ve ever had and it honestly broke my heart to hear that whenever I asked something she’d consider breaking up with me. It broke my heart when she told me she hated me. It broke my heart when she just walked out of the apartment. But I was too angry to think of that. I was angry at her and at me and at everything. 

But one thing was for certain: I honestly hope that wasn’t a break up.

 

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A/N

 

So at first I was so excited to write this chapter then I actually started writing it and I realised how much I wished I didn’t. It was heartbreaking, okay. They had this perfect relationship going and then all of a sudden.... BAM! So yeah, I can’t believe I wrote this. I don’t know who to be more mad at, tbh. They were both so stupid in this chapter. Especially their arguments! 

 

Vote, comment, share, fan etcetc.

Mwahbebssssssss

 

-Winona

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