I Will Wait For You

Two people fall deeply in love, but for society is wrong because they are two boys. They did really care about society, until they knew how people could react to their relationship. They are part ofthe biggest boy band at the moment so they can't really say 'I'm gay!'
That was their secret, until one of them got to his breaking point. Where he couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't see the love of his life with another person(That's when Eleanor Calder come along), but that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was that Louis forgot everything he felt for Harry. From soul mates to strangers in no time. Harry knew that his soul mate still feel something for me, so he decide to wait. He will wait for him for ever and one more day. But what will happen when Harry gives up? Will Louis regret everything that he didn't do with his soul mate? Will they have the change to be together again like at the beginning?

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71. Harry's Letter (Part 7)

Author's POV

The doctor comes out to give Harry's health conditions ''Harry Styles' family?'' As soon as he hears Harry's name Louis runs to Anne's side ''He's okay, I think it was just to much visit for one day, for know you guys can go and have some rest and come back until tomorrow. Harry needs to rest too!''

'Do you mind if I stay?'- Louis asks

'Not at all but you will have to be in the waiting room, he can't have visitors'- he explains- 'you better go home and get some rest'

'No thanks, I'm staying'- Louis says walking back to the place he was before ''Louis'' he hears Perrie's voice 'Pezza?'- he says turning around

'Hey, what's up?'- she asks with a big smile

'Nothing, just ....'

'I'm staying with you'- she interrupts him

'No you're not!'- Louis says in a angry tone

'Why not?'- she says confused

'Because .....' Louis can't tell her why he wants to stay even if he wants to 'Because I'm going home'

'Yeah right!'- Perrie says sitting on the chair

'Yeah, I have to call a cab though'- Louis says looking at his phone

'That's fine, Zayn and I will give you a ride, let's go!'- she says walking to Zayn's side

He decides to go home, he wants to take a cab but Perrie insists on taking him home. On their way home he only smiles once and the entire ride is so quite. As soon as they get to the building he go straight to the flat ''Good night'' is everything he says. When he's at the flat he change his clothes for sweatpants and a shirt that clearly is way to big on him. He goes to their bad and starts reading the rest of the letters, he grabs letter # 100 ....

Louis,

   Have you pay enough attention to notice the difference between ''but I love you'' and ''I love you, but''?

    I've clearly learn the difference between those two and I know that with every ''but I love you'' there will soon come a ''I love you, but''

     Harry

He starts crying so hard that he feels like if his eyes are going to come out off. He really loves him and if he had known he would never have done what he did. He takes the next letter ....

Louis,

    A heart is a hollow muscular organ so why we say ''I love you with all my heart'' when we know a real heart could surely never fall apart but my first love taught me that falling in love breaks you from the start ....

    Harry

''I love you with all my heart you idiot!'' Louis says as he grabs the next letter ....

Louis,

    Yesterday I asked myself if I was given the opportunity to go back into the past, would I?

    If I would asked you this question you would simply shake your head and say ''it is what it is'' that's the only difference between us ....

    I would do anything to go back in the past when I wasn't accused of sleeping with over 400 women each year.... I would go where I wasn't force to be apart from you or even where I wasn't controlled the way that I am today .... But since there is no way to go back in the past, the only thing I can do is hope for better tomorrow ....

     Harry

''I wouldn't go to the past, I would go to the future because I know that our love is so strong and I know we will get our happily ever after'' Louis whispers as he opens the next letter....

 

Louis,

    You know I never understood why you fall in love with me .... I'm so fuck up that I've always believe that nobody could ever love me.

    I remember you told me that you wanted to take me on a date, I didn't believe you ....

    You told me that I was absolutely beautiful, I didn't believe you ....

    You told me you were in love with me, I didn't believe you ....

    Three years letter you told me you didn't love me anymore because you fall in love with another person .... For the first time I believe you!

     Harry

The last sentences destroy Louis' heart, he screams so loud that everybody in the building is able to hear him. He screams his lungs out, he screams until his voice doesn't come out of his mouth. He sobs uncontrollably against the bed as he tries to understand why he agree to do that. After a few minutes of screams, sobbing and cursing he puts his attention back on the letters ....

Louis,

    You know part of me refuse to believe that you are gone. It seems like only yesterday that we were together and talking about our future ....

    I refuse to believe that someone so precious could be taken away from my life without any warming or goodbye ....

    I refuse to believe that it's been 4 months since your left my life, yet here I am sitting in your sweat shirt and crying because you aren't coming back, but I know we will be together again one day!

    Harry

Louis notices the dry tears on the paper, he traces his fingertips on it as he tries to stop his. ''I adore you'' he says as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    Do you remember the words that you whispered just for us to know?

    Do you remember the promises that you made just for us to keep?

    Do you remember the late nights that we spend together just the two us alone?

    All those moments still matter to me, but it seems like they no longer matter to you ... I suppose that's what happens as time goes on and you begin to forget something that one made you happy ....

    The only difference? I didn't forget, I can still remember everything ....

     Harry

Louis jumps off the bed, he's so mad right now that he could kill someone. He walks to the mirror and screams again. Without thinking it he punches the mirror breaking it into million tiny little pieces, he can't keep seeing his reflection on the mirror, he's so disgust. Little pieces of glass are on his hand which is bleeding really bad, but he thinks that his pain is nothing compared to Harry's pain. He takes off the little pieces of glasses and goes to the bathroom for the First Aid Kit. He opens it and takes out some gauze and hydrogen peroxide. He put hydrogen peroxide on the wound, the foam begins to sprout while the wound is being disinfected, it doesn't hurt at all because it's only hydrogen peroxide. He wraps the gauze around his hand and goes back to the bed taking the letters with him ....

Louis,

    Do you ever ask yourself what we were? We were two souls combined into one with a love so bright it could out shine the sun ... we were two souls combined in one!

    Harry

''We still are, our souls are connected for life'' Louis says he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    I can't believe you will get marry, I mean I know you told me you love her but I never thought the wedding was going to he so soon ....

    There's no worse feeling than being replaced by the only who stole your heart ....

    You left before I was even given the chance to confess my love for you to the entire world ....

    And it hurts because now I see you spending time with her the way you used to spend with me ....

    I think there's nothing else to say than congratulations? I hope she can make you make like I never did ....

    Harry

Anger is consuming Louis' body, he wants to punch the walls so hard until his hands start bleeding. He has to control himself or will ended up on the hospital. He takes some deep breaths before going back to the letters ....

Louis,

    You know I still have all the decoration you put for our last day together, the roses' petals are dry and the candles are almost done too but I won't move them. It's kinda the only thing I have left of you .... Someone entered to the flat when I wasn't here, I'm always careful with the roses' petals but the person who entered wasn't ....

    At the beginning I thought it was you but then I realized why would you came back if you haven't even text me or call me .....

    Harry

''Eleanor'' he whispers as he opens the next letter which seems to be letter #109 ....

Louis,

    I started my chemotherapy today, it's not as painful as it's sound but still hurts....

    It looks like hospitals will be my second home after all, gosh I hate hospitals! Their smell makes me sick .... You know it's funny to see the ''dirty'' blood coming out of my body and somehow the machine cleans it and re-enter my body as ''clean'' blood .... the chemo therapies are making dizzy and I don't like that :/

    Harry

''I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you'' he cries as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

     On stage is a little bit easy to ignore you, but when you go to the studio with her I feel like I'm dying slowly .... I've been trying to spend as much time as I can away from you and the lads, I don't want you guys to know that I'm sick. I don't want to bug you with my problems ....

    I honestly wish you the best and if you are reading this letter with the person that you love ..... hey there, its weird I know but the man at your side it's my everything and I'm begging you to love him, to protect him and please when you're holding his hand hold it tight because you're holding my entire universe .... I wish you two the best!

    Harry

''How can you even think I could love anybody else the way I love you!?'' Louis asks as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    I've been on the hospital a lot lately, I don't like that but I have to do my chemotherapy. I miss you so much, I wish you were here to tell me that everything will be just fine.... I'm sorry, sometimes I'm to sensitive ....

     Harry

He smiles at himself as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    I can believe I talked to you today after 4 months of been apart .... the conversation wasn't the best but I mean at least you talked to me .... You asked me to be your best man, I didn't see that coming but I'm glad that somehow you're thinking about me .... I won't ask you why you asked me but still hurts. I don't want to be your best man at your wedding, I want to be the one that you're marrying to ....

    I'm so sorry I didn't say 'I'll see you soon, then' but could I? I mean we used to say that when we were together and we knew that somehow at the end of the day we will ended up together but I just couldn't say that, I just can't act like if everything is okay because it's not ....

    Harry

Louis remembers that day like it was yesterday, he remembers who nervous he was about it. He remembers that feeling he had when he talked to Harry for the first time in 4 months. He giggles as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    If you give me the chance again I would share all my thoughts with you. I would tell you my darkest secrets that I have yet to share with the world ....

    If you give me the chance again I would love you in a way you have never been love before, I would sing you to sleep every night so you would go to bed with a smile upon your lips....

    If you gave me the chance again we could make it work. I would keep you safe in my warm embrace ....

    But no one ever gives me a chance with things anymore .... not even life!

     Harry

Louis can't stop sobbing, his body is shaking so bad, his breathing is becoming heavily by every breath he takes. He just can't believe that Harry was feeling that way, he loves Harry so badly that only thinking about him suffering makes him sick. Without wast any time Louis grabs the next letter .....

Louis,

    Eleanor tries to talk to me, I don't really know what she wants, I mean we don't have anything to talk about ....

    In other news, I've been to the hospital often now, the doctor says that the chemo therapies are working so soon I won't need them anymore! I'm so excited, somehow life understood that she was been a little cruel with me and she lights it up a little bit xD

     You know, I've been thinking about you lately, well I think about you all the time to be honest :) Your birthday is coming up and I want to give you the best birthday present ever!

    Harry

''Sure you did!'' Louis says remembering what happened on his birthday and his present, he puts the letter back and grabs the next one which seems to be letter # 116....

Louis,

    You know I look at you and you look happy with her! I'm glad that you happy even though it's not with me! It's days like these, those make me fall part! Which is quite ironic considering I'm already broken specially inside my heart ....

    Its days like these that make me wish I had never met you in the first place because then I wouldn't have to deal with the pain when I see you with her ....

    It's days like these that I'm completely alone because you're too busy spending time with her in front of the cameras to even bother to pick up the phone and call me to say a simple ''hello''

    It's days like these that I wish you were here to hold me in yours arms and tell it'll all be okay one day ....

    Harry

''Hazza'' Louis whispers trying to understand why he didn't say anything to him. He puts the letters at the side and tries to clear his mind, he wants to be calm before reading the rest of the letters. After a few minutes he puts his attention in the letters ....

Louis,

    Does happiness truly exist in this world? Nothing last for ever and everything that falls at some point gets broken ....

    The beauty with our love was that I thought it would last forever and I fell for you so deeply but ironically ended up broken ....

    Does happiness really exist in this world? My life has decided to proof me that it doesn't!  

     Harry

''Happiness it does exist and you and I will have happily ever after like in your favorite fairy tales'' Louis says as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    It's ironic how we take so much for granted and how we only learn the real value of things by tragedies? I was so used to have you beside me and being in my life day after day ....

    Maybe if I would realized I said something too harsh to make you fall in love with her .... It's truly a tragedy that the love that once was mine now it's her ....

    Harry

''My love will never, ever be of anybody else but you idiot!'' Louis says as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    Regret! I guess you could say that behind my forced smile and dull eyes lie a lot of regret.... 

    I regret not telling the world that you were mine, why did I ever agree to keep our love such a secret? My life is now just regret!

    Harry

''The only thing that I regret is that I never told them we were together ..... but I promise you we'll tell the world that we are together as soon as you wake I love you baby cakes!'' He promises as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    I know I'm sick, doctor says the chemotherapy are helping me but if someday you make up and I'm not longer in this world don't look at the pictures and cry ....

    Thing about all the positives times and memories that we have share together.... Don't stare at the empty bed side and cry, think about the late nights conversations just for us to keep stored in our heart ....

    Don't think of me as being gone, look at the starts and smiles because I'll be looking down at you smiling back. When you feel the wind just know for sure that that's me, kiss it because I'll be there kissing you back ....

      Harry

''If you're gone when I wake up one day I swear god I'll follow you'' Louis whispers as he opens the next letter .....

Louis,

    Sometimes I still hear and see little things that remind me of you ....

    A bench in the park reminds me of the time we would out and enjoy picnics in the spring....

    A certain song reminds me of the time you took me hand and we slow danced the whole night away ....

    A tattoo on a stranger walking by looks like a replica of one I memorized on your precious skin .... I see and hear all those things and think about you .... Do you see and hear things and think about me too?

     Harry

''Y-yes .... I d-do'' Louis says as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

   I cry and cry and cry each day, I spend countless hours begging you to stay ....

   You wouldn't give me a chance to say what I needed to say, as for now I can only pray that maybe out paths will cross again one day ....

     Harry

Feeling the need to heal his soul Louis opens the next letter .....

Louis,

    Lately I've been thinking and I remember the first the first time that you told me that you loved me ....

    I was in shock because why would someone as beautiful as you would be in love with someone like me?

    You promise we would stay together and nothing would ever bring us apart .... So what changed between us that made you leave?

    Do you remember the night that you told me that you loved me? I remember it very clear because the feelings were indeed mutual but I guess you feelings changed ....

      Harry

''I remember it as if it happened yesterday, I told you I loved you because I really did.... I guess I still do and that's one thing that will never change'' Louis says as he opens the next letter ....

Louis,

    Distance crept it's way upon us faster than before.... I feel the earth tugging you away from me more and more, forced apart without a choice, we had to give up but I was willing to fight the war for the both of us and out of nowhere you gave up and fall I love with her and that's when I understood .... I was no longer able to fight the war

    Harry

''I'm nit giving up on us! I'm not!'' Louis says as he opens the next letter which seems to be letter #125 ....

Louis,

    Happy Birthday my Love! Oh God you're 22 and I'm glad I been in your life for almost 4 years! I Love you I love you I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you! I'm not finishing this letter right now because I'll write the rest when I come back from your place, I know didn't invite me but I don't care!

    Oh my fucking God! I can't believe what just happened! I'm not gonna lie I was begging for that to happened but somehow I knew it was impossible but it happened. I made love to you! I made love to you! Oh my God! You have no idea how happy this make me, you have no idea how long I've been waiting for this! I Love you Boo, I Love you Boo, I Love you Boo, I Love you Boo, I Love you Boo, I Love you Boo!

     Harry

Louis smiles as he remembers that night, I mean some part of it. He remembers that part where he was with Harry, a little bit blurry but he remembers it. He smiles at himself as he opens next letter ....

Louis,

    One month has pass by and I stopped writing all this month, basically I've been on the hospital, rehearsals and at our flat ....

    Your wedding is getting closer and closer, I'm afraid I won't survive! The last letter I wrote was about your birthday .... Do you know what day it's today? Today it's my birthday! It hurts to see the difference between the birthday wishes for me and her ....

    ''happy birthday dude!'' Was all I managed to received yet your pour your heart out to someone who don't even look at you with passionate eyes.... I'm alone and broken, I don't want anyone to come and save me because it's too late and beside nobody can.... The only person could save me is you but I see you're occupied with important wedding plans ....

    Im just a broken soul and no longer half of the man I used to be, you sure do seem happy in the photos with her I see through my iPhone screen....

    Does she loves you like I used to? Does she kisses you whenever she can? You two seem very in love and it's beyond hard for me to see because months ago that was not her, but me!

      Harry

There are only two letter left, Louis' heart it's beating really fast, he feels like it will come out of his chest at any second. He takes a deep breath and grabs the next letter ....

Louis,

    Here we are in Paris, a few days away from your wedding. Time pass by and I still don't understand who you did it. How could you forget everything that we lived together? Somehow I get why she fall in love with you, I mean you're this mix of a man that is perfect in every single way. You're this man that every where you go everybody wants to talk to you. I know she fell in love with you for the same reasons I did and that's why I don't blame her, how could I if I fell in love with the same amazingly beautiful human being that you are?

     Harry

''You idiot! How could you brought that after all we went through? I mean I know I'm a good actor but come on! The only one who holds my heart it's you and nobody, no one will ever change that'' Louis says as he opens the last letter, his hands are shaking and sweating....

Louis,

    Hi there, hmm honestly I don't really don't know what to write, tomorrow is your wedding and here I am sitting at the kitchen table of the fancy hotel we are staying here in Paris.... I wish you the best, mostly I wish you joy and peace and happiness and all the best of this world because you deserve it! Please don't ever forget me, don't forget that I will always love you!

    Eleanor, hmm well hi, I just want to tell you that you have the beat man in this world. Please take care of him and love him like you never had love someone before! I wish you two the best and forgive me if I don't stay to the party after the ceremony but I'm feeling a little bit dizzy and fuzzy because I've not been on my chemotherapy lately but I think I'll be okay.... I love you Louis! 

     Harry

''Oh God, did you really just leave me there for someone else to take me? Come on Hazza, you're the only one, the only one!'' Louis says as he sees all the letters, he smiles and decides to go to sleep because tomorrow and days after that will be a little impossible to sleep or have some rest. Louis sleeps all night long, when he wakes in the morning he takes a long bath before going to the hospital. When he gets to the hospital there is a lot of press and fans outside, his glad to see that the fans care about Harry but the press is just getting on his nerves because they keep asking when is he getting marry with Eleanor and that just pisses him off.

Days start pass by every single day was the same thing, press outside the hospital, fans on Twitter are worry about him, Louis is n the hospital 24/7 he only goes to the flat to clean himself. Every day Louis talks to Harry about how the weather is or what's happening around and all that. Two months has pass by and Harry still doesn't wake up. Doctors are getting worry know, they know there is no reason why he still on coma.

'Why is he still on coma?'- Anne says

'Well, we think there is apart of his brain that doesn't want to come back because he knows everything that's happening around him'- the doctor explains- 'just give him time and tell him how much you want him to wake up'

And with that he leaves the room leaving Anne and Louis in Harry's room ''You heard the doctor baby cakes you have to wake up because we are really worry about you, we want you to come back so bad, I want you to come back'' Louis whispers on Harry's ear

Two more weeks pass by and Harry hasn't wake up yet, all of them have faith that he will up soon but somehow Louis is getting depressed. The next morning everything changes, Louis is sleeping at the uncomfortable chair on Harry's room. The sound of beeps, clanking heels on linoleum in the busy hallways and birds chirping outside is all that Harry can hear. The place smells of something he can't quite put his fingers on. It's clean but the smell is almost like plastic. His mouth tastes extremely dry and as more and more noises start to fill the room his green eyes shot open. He blinks a bit until his eyes adjust to the light, he sees a guy on the chair but he doesn't want to wake him up so he just presses the button to call a nurse. The nurse comes immediately and checks his temperature, his blood pressure, his respiratory rate before she calls the doctor, when the doctor comes Harry smiles at him.

''Hello Ms. Styles'' the doctor says, Harry just stares at him without saying anything

'Are you okay?'- the doctor asks

'Yeah, I-I ju-st wasn't su-re if y you we-re talking t-to m-me'- Harry says nervous

'Yes Ms. Styles! That's your last name, don't you remember that?'- the doctor asks confused

'N-no'- Harry says shyly

'You don't remember who you are?'- the doctor asks again

'N-no'- Harry says crying

-------------------------------

Vas Happenin'? *Zayn's amazing lovely accent*

I'm sorry I stopped here but if I kept going the chapter was going to be even longer than it is right now :/ so I already have the next chapter so hopefully I'll be update today later on or tomorrow! Oh my sweet Lord! I can't believe I'm almost done with this fiction, I had an amazing time writing and I hope you guys had an amazing tome reading it! I love every single one of you form the bottom of my heart! Thanks so much for the views, the comments, the love and everything YOU GUYS ROCK! Once again I'm using @larrypoet work so credits to her for that, follow her on Instagram she's AMAZING! A new chapter is coming as soon as possible don't forget to come back and check it out! Love you to bits, Astrid :)x

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